


Times Past

by RealDaveofDaves



Series: The Maze of Moments - A Clay and Justin Story [10]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Clay Is A Good Brother, Cooking, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, High School, Justin is a good brother, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Clay, Protective Justin, References to Drugs, Shopping, Vulnerable Clay, Vulnerable Justin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2019-08-02 06:23:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 61,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16299797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealDaveofDaves/pseuds/RealDaveofDaves
Summary: The prequel to "A Maze of Moments Book One!" It's Justin's adoption day party, and he and Clay and their friends look back and reminisce on their time together so far.





	1. The First Night

**Author's Note:**

> Events in this story take place prior to the events in, and during, "A Maze of Moments - Book One" and are told in flashback during Chapter 25.
> 
> I've also fixed the dates to reflect the true calendar as compared to those seen in Season Two of "13 Reasons Why."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it's Justin's adoption day, and the new brothers start to reflect back on their time together up to this point, starting with the first night...

_I ain’t made for a rivalry I could never take the world alone_  
_I know that in my weakness I am strong, but_  
_It’s your love that brings me home_  
  
_Brother, let me be your shelter_  
_Never leave you all alone_  
_I can be the one you call_  
_When you’re low_  
_Brother, let me be your fortress_  
_When the night winds are driving on_  
_Be the one to light the way_  
_Bring you home_  
  
_And when you call and need me near_  
_Sayin' where'd you go?_  
_Brother, I'm right here_  
_And on those days when the sky begins to fall_  
_You're the blood of my blood_  
_We can get through it all_

-from "Brother," by NEEDTOBREATHE

* * *

 

 

**Thursday Evening, June 21, 2018**

Clay looked out on his backyard full of people as he placed some toppings on his burger. Family and friends, along with parents and siblings and significant others, were there to celebrate with the Jensen family, for today was the day that the adoption proceedings had been completed.

Justin Foley-Jensen. It was official now.

Two months earlier, his parents had been granted emergency custody with the intent of adopting Justin. It had been a whirlwind two months hence, with an attempted school shooting, an attack and concussion, a PTSD diagnosis, and so much more. And it had all begun two months and two days ago.

"Yo, you spacing out over here on us, bro?"

Justin had come over to the folding table that had been set up next to the grill, where food and condiments were laid out buffet style, to join Clay.

"Hmm? Oh, no. I was just thinking is all. Do you remember that first night here? Not when I snuck you in, but when I asked if you wanted to be adopted?"

Justin picked up a bag of potato chips and reached in for a handful. "Yeah, kinda. Why?"

"Remember our first conversation? Like, as sort of foster brothers?"

"I remember how awkward it was," Justin laughed.

"It wasn't _that_ bad."

"It was a little. But I'll tell you what, that was the first time I thought you were, like...a really good guy. You know? Like, you'd be good for me."

"Really?"

Justin nodded towards two empty chairs next to each other near the edge of the patio, and they walked over to sit down. As Clay took a bite of his burger, Justin continued to explain.

"It was when we went to bed that night. After we talked."

 

**********

 

  **Thursday Evening, April 19, 2018  
**

"....you've got the couch for a little while longer, but you seem to like it, so...yeah. The room down the hall, I think we'll be setting that up as your room eventually."

Clay Jensen wasn't exactly talking a mile a minute, but he was doing so rather nervously. Earlier that afternoon, following Hannah Baker's memorial service, he had asked a rather unlikely house guest if he wanted his parents to adopt him into their family. That same house guest was now standing next to him, taking it all in. They had eaten their first meal together as a new family, take out sushi, and had some tv time with each other. A discussion of new rules would wait until the following day, as Lainie and Matt were still working on those. Clay and Justin Foley had retreated back upstairs to Clay's room - now _their_ room - after a couple of hours.

"Yeah...okay. I don't mind the couch."

Clay nodded. "Good. Yeah, that's good. Soooo...make yourself at home. Well. More than you already have, I guess."

Justin turned and looked at him, a hurt expression on his face.

"Oh! No, I didn't mean it like that...no. I mean...I..." Clay paused and sighed. "Fuck. I don't know what I mean. Sorry."

Justin walked to the couch and sat down. "Jensen. Are you sure you want this? Like....you know, this is a big deal, right?"

Sighing again, Clay turned and pulled out his desk chair and plopped down into it, facing Justin.

"No. I'm not sure...."

"Oh." Justin looked down. "That's...kind of what I thought."

"Let me finish. No, I'm not sure. And, yeah, like I told you...it sounds kind of crazy. Very crazy. But, maybe this will be a good thing. You know? Like...we'll make this work, or whatever."

Justin nodded but didn't look up.

"You know, maybe the first thing we need to do is get to know one another better. Maybe that'll make this easier."

Justin raised his head and sat back on the couch. "What do you want to know?"

"Well. Umm..." Clay scratched his cheek, thinking for a second. "What...like, what do you like to do? Hobbies, or whatever?"

"I play basketball....or I did."

"Right, but that's...not a hobby. Is it? That's a sport. Well, now that I think about it, a sport _could_ be a hobby, almost. I was never all that great at sports, except for running. I mean, you can't exactly fuck up running, I don't think..."

"Jesus, Jensen," Justin laughed. "You really get this talking thing or whatever, don't you? Like, when you're nervous."

"I...I'm not nervous. Anyway. So, what about other than playing basketball?"

Justin shrugged. "I dunno. I mean...I like movies, I guess. And girls."

"Movies," Clay nodded. "I can work with movies. Okay, yeah...this is good. We've got a ton, and Netflix and stuff."

"Yeah, so I saw. Downstairs. Man, you really like superheroes and wizards and shit."

"Have you seen any of those? Like, the Marvel ones?"

Justin shook his head. "Nope."

"The DC ones are kind of crap, but their shows are really good. We could start you on the Marvel movies then, I bet you'd really like them." Clay lit up at the prospect of educating someone on the pantheon of the Marvel series, to say nothing of Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, and going into what was considered canon and what wasn't in their various expanded universes. "Yeah, for sure! We'll have to start in order, though, or they won't make any sense. Yeah, this will be cool!"

Justin laughed again. "Jensen...you're something else. This is gonna be interesting."

"Um. Hey. I need to ask you to do something though."

"What's that?"

"I have a first name. Clay. I'd appreciate it if you use it, okay? I mean...I'm not your teammate or whatever."

"I could just call you dumbass," Justin grinned.

Clay narrowed his eyes. "Uh, that would be _no_. Clay is fine."

"Oh, come on! It's like a nickname or whatever. What if I use it only every once and awhile?"

"No."

"Well it's not like I can call you...I dunno, 'stud' or some shit like that. Dumbass. It's a...what do they call that? Term of affliction."

"Affection, Justin. Term of affection. Or endearment," Clay rolled his eyes.

"Right, that."

Now it was Clay's turn to shake his head as he stood up. "Maybe. Let me think about it. It's not exactly the nickname I'd want, but...whatever. Look...why don't we try this again tomorrow. Talking. It's getting kind of late and I want to finish some homework up before bed. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Dumbass," he grinned again.

"Shut up, Justin," Clay started to unbutton his shirt and stopped. "Uh. So...there's something else. Something I need to tell you. Say to you." He turned back around and rubbed the back of his head. "I...need to thank you. For stopping me. That night at Bryce's house."

"You got rid of it. Right? The gun?"

Clay nodded. "Yeah...yeah, for sure."

"Good. Don't _ever_ do that again. Got it?" Justin became deadly serious and sat up straight. "If you're upset or like...struggling or whatever...you just...I dunno, come talk to me instead. But don't you ever pull shit like that again, Clay."

Clay's mouth opened and he worked his jaw a couple of times, surprised at the conviction in the words coming from Justin. He'd expected a few things in this new situation, having experienced some of them already when he had first smuggled and hid him in this room, and then when his presence in the house had been discovered by his parents. Justin was a handful, to be sure, and would most likely continue to be, but deep down, Clay figured, there was basically a good kid. It was almost as if Luke Skywalker was describing Darth Vader: There is still good in him.

He had experienced it that night at Bryce Walker's home, when in a moment of utter despair and resignation, he had put a gun borrowed from Tyler to his temple and then aimed it at Bryce.

If.

If could be the most powerful word in the English language, his father had once told him. What if Justin hadn't been there? What if he hadn't brought him into his home, defiantly? What if...

And now, Justin stared at him, and had spoken words to him almost like...a brother.

"Clay? You hear me?"

"Huh? Yeah. Yeah, totally. No...I won't do it again. Promise."

"Good. And you're welcome. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Okay?"

"Yeah...okay. Thanks, man," Clay replied, a little surprised.

"I'm gonna catch a shower," Justin said, standing up. "I'd work on homework also, but..."

"I know. Well, we'll start getting your stuff tomorrow and whatever about getting you caught up. You need anything? You remember where the towels are?"

Justin opened his bag and pulled out his pajama pants and a t-shirt, being careful to keep the contraband that the bad also contained well hidden. "Uh huh."

"Okay. Cool."

 

**********

 

Justin walked down the hall and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Taking his shirt off, he frowned at what he saw in the mirror. The time spent in juvenile detention had resulted in a shocking loss of weight, something Zach had commented on earlier that day. The muscle tone was still there, but only just. He needed to put that back on. Soon. At least living here, with the Jensens, he would be sure to get regular meals, so there was that.

Pulling back the shower curtain, he turned the hot water on and let it run.

He'd just said it a few minutes ago, and those words spun around in his mind as he took off his pants. This was going to be interesting.

He'd have a roof over his head, a permanent one. Not some shitty, low-rent apartment, or Walker's pool house. A warm place to sleep. True, a couch for now, but it was really very comfortable. Food. Mrs. Jensen would make sure of that.

And...a brother?

It was an odd dichotomy. Over the last few years, Justin had been surrounded by a number of people - teammates, friends, girls. Yet, deep inside, he was still a very lonely teenager. When practice or the game or the party was over, when he had to go "home," there was his mother, more often than not strung out on drugs, and whichever loser boyfriend she had shacked up with this time. Rarely, if ever, could he find an opportunity to confide in Amber Foley about anything anymore. And her boyfriend of the month? Forget that. But a sibling....if only he had had a sibling. A younger or an older brother, to confide in and share things with.

True, there was Bryce Walker, and he had looked him to him as an older brother, for numerous reasons. But over the last several months it had become painfully obvious that they never were brothers, let alone friends. The time he spent in juvenile detention allowed him to think back and reflect on his relationship with Bryce, think about all of the things he had done.

What he had done to Jess.

So, back to square one. Bryce was clearly not the brother he needed nor wanted, and childhood dreams and desires were just that, silly wishes.

But now, after all this time, it was looking like he was going to get his wish after all. A brother.

Clay Jensen? Of all people?

He stepped into the shower, his first satisfying hot shower that he had been able to take in weeks. The water ran over him in waves, as if it was washing away pieces of his past.

Clay Jensen.

My brother?

Stranger things had happened. Hell, worse things had happened. Maybe, just possibly maybe, it wouldn't be _so_ awful.

Maybe they could make this work.

 

**********

 

Clay had changed into his sleeping clothes, laptop open next to him on the bed, a textbook opened on his lap. He looked at neither one. Instead, he stared across the room at the couch as he listened to the shower running down the hall.

"This is so fucked up," he said to himself.

Contrary to what others may have thought about him, Clay Jensen hated being a loner. True, he had made several friends, close ones, over the last couple of years. Recent events had started to bring him closer to a group of people that he never would have counted as friends before, but it was happening, and it wasn't all that bad, really. Zach was a pretty nice guy when it came down to it, he had just had a bunch of bad influences around him. Alex was a good kid, when he was in the right head space - it was obvious there was more to him than met the eye, and he felt guilty that he hadn't been there for him like he should have been. Same for Jessica. Sheri...he'd never admit it, but he had the biggest crush on Sheri. Tony was Tony, unhelpful Yoda though he could be.

Still, there had always been something missing in his life, something he had long ago given up on.

Clay had always wanted a brother.

His mother was unable to have more children after Clay had been born, due to major complications and an emergency surgery. It had taken until Clay was ten years old to finally understand why he was an only child. That room down the hall he had mentioned half an hour ago? The whole reason his parents had bought this house was because the two rooms were in proximity to one another, and somewhat away from the master bedroom. That room was supposed to be for a sibling. But instead, it became sort of a catch all room for odds and ends and whatnot, things that would otherwise take up space. But soon, perhaps sooner rather than later, it would be transformed into its true purpose all along.

But...for Justin Foley?

After everything that had happened over the last several months, there was little that could surprise Clay anymore. So, hell, why not Justin Foley as a...stepbrother? Real brother? Not of flesh and blood, but once the adoption went through, there wasn't any "step" involved, not really. At any rate. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad. As fucked up as it all sounded.

Speaking of sound, the shower seemed to go on for an awfully long time, as Clay finished up some homework. Nearly half an hour went by before the water was shut off, and a few minutes past that, Justin finally returned.

"Dude...what were you doing in there?"

"Taking a shower, what do you think I was doing?" Justin replied, putting a wet towel in the clothes hamper.

"Yeah, but you were in there forever it seemed like."

"Oh. Oh....I'm....sorry. Sorry, man," he replied quietly before turning to the couch.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Justin," Clay sighed, "if this is going to work, you need to talk to me. What's wrong?"

Justin simply shook his head. "I...like long showers. I'm sorry, I won't do that again."

"I gathered you did, but is there a reason why you...."

"Clay," Justin interrupted as he sat on the couch. "I...I don't want to talk about it. Right now. Okay?"

"Yeah...okay. Um....well, is the light gonna bother you? I don't have a lot left to finish."

"It's fine," Justin was arranging his pillow and pulled the blanket off the top of the couch. "They left lights on in juvi sometimes. I'm used to it."

"Oh. Hey...I'm sorry, I didn't...."

"It's all good. Night, Clay."

"Yeah....night."

Clay watched Justin pull the blanket over him and turn away, facing the back of the couch and curl up some, almost into a fetus position. Frowning, he was about to go back to his homework...and stopped. Quietly closing the laptop and book, he put them on the floor next to the bed, reached over, and turned off the desk lamp.

"I thought you said you had some more to work on?" Justin asked as he noticed the light going out.

"Eh, I can finish during study hall tomorrow, it's fine," Clay answered as he got underneath the comforter. "Uhh...if you need anything. Like, during the night or whatever. You can wake me up. Okay?"

Justin didn't reply at first.

"Justin?"

"Yeah, I heard you. Okay. Thanks."

"Sure."

Several minutes passed in silence as Clay stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come over him, when from the other side of the room, he heard, very quietly...

"Clay?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it....are you....I'm kinda cold."

"Oh. Well....here...."

Getting up out of bed, Clay pulled the comforter off of it and dragged it over to the other side of the room, and draped it over Justin.

"Dude, you didn't have to do that," he said, rolling onto his right side to look at Clay. The moonlight coming in through the blinds provided just enough illumination so that they could see one another without turning lights back on.

"It's okay, I've got a blanket underneath this, so I get almost too warm. I'll have to show you where the extra linens and blankets are tomorrow so you can grab an extra one."

Justin nodded and pulled the comforter around him. "Thanks, man. This feels....it...it was always cold."

"In juvi?"

A sad look came over Justin's face. "There. And everywhere. Almost."

Making a confused face, Clay crouched down next to the couch. "Everywhere?"

Sighing, Justin sat up a little. "Growing up, we didn't....my mom and me and whomever...we didn't always have heat. Like, it would get turned off. Sometimes. So...I get cold kinda easy." Sadly, he looked over at Clay. "I'm sorry, I don't want to be any trouble."

"It's no trouble. Really, it's fine. I told you...if you need anything, just wake me up. Okay?"

"Yeah," Justin nodded. "Yeah, okay. And...and you can do that, too. Wake me up."

_Yeah,_ Clay thought to himself, _like I'll need to do that. Poor kid...._

"Sure, man. Get some sleep. I set the alarm on my phone."

"Okay. Thanks again Jens....Clay."

Clay smiled and stood back up. "You're welcome." As he walked back over to his bed, he could hear Justin settle in and make a contented sigh as he wrapped the comforter around him. There was an openness and vulnerability that he saw just now, something he hadn't seen or noticed - or, perhaps, chosen not to see - during that time Justin was here previously, before the trial and the arrest. It was becoming more obvious that there was more to Justin Foley than he previously realized.

Was this a fucked up situation?

Clearly.

Maybe it just might work, though.

As Justin snuggled into the warm comforter, he immediately relaxed and became drowsy. For the first time in many weeks, he felt content. He felt _safe_.

He felt badly for shooting up earlier that evening, when Clay and Matt had gone to pick up dinner. After all, he had told them he was clean and going to NA meetings.

Well. Maybe that was just one slip up. He woudn't have to do it again.

Maybe.

He resolved to worry about that tomorrow. For now, he was warm, and happy. He was....home? And the kid across the room from him, the one he had given so much shit to, the one whom at one point he had considered having killed of all things, was making sure of these things. It was an unusual feeling.

But it wasn't a bad one. Not by any means.

He was an all right little dumbass, this Clay Jensen.

A good guy.

A guy you'd want to be your brother.

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back once again!
> 
> So truth be told, it's always been my intention to write something that leads us up to chapter one of the first "A Maze of Moments" story, as there were little hints and details dropped in there, and in some of my one-shots, that tried to fill in the blanks, so to speak. And here we are. 
> 
> Welcome to "Times Past," everyone!
> 
> Logically, at least to Ye Writer, there's about a month in between S2E13 and the start of "Maze," and that's quite a bit to explore. I'm looking forward to it, and I hope you are as well!
> 
> Thank you all for the feedback on my two most recent stories, "October 9" and "With A Little Help From My Friends." Those have been two of my favorites so far, and a true contrast - one very serious and emotional, the other totally silly and humorous. I hope you've checked those out!
> 
> Are we friends on Tumblr yet? Would you like to be? I'd love to interact with you all over there and answer questions and whatnot! Head on over and find me at https://www.tumblr.com/blog/therealdaveofdaves and let's talk all things Maze, 13 Reasons Why, and more!
> 
> Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about "This Time," but to be honest I think I'm going to hit pause on that one for just a little while longer, until I figure out where I want it to go. 
> 
> So as always, thank you so much for reading, your kudos and comments! I look forward to hearing what you think about this one, and I'm certainly open to ideas! Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will reflect back some more when they return, very soon! See you then!


	2. Grilled Ham and Cheese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay and Justin share an afternoon snack...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story takes place within Chapter 25 of "A Maze of Moments - Book One" as flashbacks to events depicted within the context of S2E13.

 

**Thursday Evening, June 21, 2018**

 

"...so it was when you gave me your comforter. That's when I started to realize, I guess, that maybe I'd be okay. With you. And mom and dad."

Justin paused to take a drink from his can of Coke and looked at Clay, holding a half eaten burger and grinning at him.

"What?" he asked, can at his lips.

"Awwwwww."

Justin laughed before he took a drink. "Shut up! It's true. I was cold, you covered me up...I figured you weren't that big of a dork after all."

"Gee, thanks, I think." Now it was Clay's turn to laugh before taking another bite.

"Now the next night. That's when you showed me how big of a dork you were."

"Uh huh. Like you didn't get into it."

"Yeah, yeah. But you know, that wasn't a bad day, really..."

 

 

**Friday, April 20, 2018**

 

Justin's first day back at school was a whirlwind of activity: meeting with teachers, the guidance counselor, the vice principal, and more teachers. Most were sympathetic and understanding of his situation, and willing to work with him. The sole exception was his English Literature teacher, who said that the best she would do would be to issue an incomplete on top of whatever grade he had earned by the end of the semester. So, regardless of the ultimate outcome, summer school would be in his future. How much, though, would depend on his performance these last few weeks of the term. So, it was all of that on top of classes and getting readjusted to the daily routine he once knew. Clay had been by his side for most of it - they had one class together, Earth Sciences, or he made sure to meet up with Justin in between periods. 

Clay had also reached out to their other classmates and friends, members of a slowly growing inner circle, to collate notes and and other material to create a series of study guides to help Justin get caught up, and had asked everyone to meet them at Monet's later that evening, to assemble all of this. He also wanted to share the news of Justin's adoption officially, and most importantly of all, he had a proposal for them all.

Still, that was for later. Right now, though, as he and Justin walked in through the door that afternoon, there were other things on the agenda. Justin had gone up to their room to drop off his backpack and a handful of books, and when he came back down and into the kitchen, he saw Clay had already spread out some of his work on the table, and was busying himself with a pan and various items, singing to himself as he did so.

"You're kidding me...right? We literally just got home from school, and you're...what, going to do homework? On a Friday?" Justin asked, a little stunned by what he saw.

"Why not? I can get a chunk of it done now and finish the rest on Sunday night. I have some hard classes, it's a lot to keep up with." Clay hadn't turned around when he said this, but instead was creating a small assembly line of bread, butter, sliced ham, and cheese. Not the processed orange colored kind in plastic wrap, mind you - this was a medium sized wedge of cheddar from Whole Foods, next to a slicer.

"Whatcha doin'?" Justin asked.

"What does it look like?"

"Well....aren't we gonna have dinner with your folks?"

"Oh," Clay stopped and turned around. "Yeah, I forgot...you wouldn't know. So..mom and dad usually work a little later on Fridays to get caught up on things so they don't bring as much home over the weekend. One of them usually stops and gets some kind of take out. so, until then this holds me over, I'll make something for myself. It's part of my Friday thing, I guess. I used to do this before....everything, you know? Anyway, I want to start it up again."

"Your Friday thing?"

"Uh huh. I do this and some other stuff later after dinner if I'm not working. Which I'm not, tonight, I'm still on leave of absence from the Crestmont. So...oh, wait. Maybe you could come with me. Okay, yeah...this can be something we can start to do together," he said with a smile.

"Go with you? Where?"

Not wanting to go down that road quite yet, Clay quickly changed the subject. "Umm. Are you hungry?"

Was the Pope Catholic, as the old joke went? Justin was _always_ hungry, and even more so here lately because of his time in juvenile detention.

"Y-yeah..." he answered, a little hesitantly.

"Well, come on. You don't have to stand in the doorway....get in here and find yourself something to eat."

Justin had been leaning against the door frame that led into the kitchen, but now straightened up. "And like....that's okay?"

Clay looked a little surprised at hearing this, and upon seeing that reaction, Justin immediately cast his eyes down towards at his shoes.

"Of course it's okay," he replied. "Come on, get whatever you want."

Justin took a step in and then hesitated. "And...your folks. They...won't mind?"

"Dude...this is your home now. They're not going to mind at all. In fact, if you weren't randomly grabbing food, _then_ you'd probably have something to worry about."

Justin slowly came into the kitchen and walked next to Clay. "Okay. What're you making?"

"Grilled ham and cheese."

"That sounds kinda good. Can....is it okay if I have one?"

"Yeah, sure. Let me make mine and then it's all yours."

"Oh."

"What?"

More than a little embarrassed, cheeks flushing, Justin looked down at his shoes again. "I...kinda don't know how."

The surprised look returned to Clay's face. "You don't know how? Justin...it's a grilled cheese with sliced ham on it. Can you not...how did you.....dude, do you not know how to cook anything? I wouldn't expect you to know how to make Sunday dinner or anything, but..."

"No...no, I can," Justin looked up and nodded. "Not the fancy shit, but, like...regular sandwiches and canned soup and stuff. Frozen meals. Shit you throw in a microwave or whatever. I guess this is kinda fancy then. For me."

"You've....never had a grilled cheese before?" Clay asked skeptically.

"No...no, I have. I've just never made one. We didn't always have....forget it, I'll just wait until your mom and dad get home." Justin turned away as if to walk out of the kitchen, when Clay reached over and took his arm gently and stopped him. 

"Hey...wait," he said softly.

"What?"

"I'll show you how. It's not hard."

"You....Jensen, you don't...."

"Clay."

"Sorry....Clay....you don't have to do that, I don't want you to like...go out of your way, or whatever."

Clay sighed and put down the cheese slicer. "Justin. I'm not going out of my way. What did I just say a minute ago? This is your home now. What if you get here before me or my mom and dad and you're hungry? You need to learn how to do stuff like this for yourself. You can't always have cold cereal you know."

"Why not," Justin grinned. "Cold cereal is awesome."

Clay chuckled in reply. "Well, okay, that's true, yeah. What's your favorite?"

"Oh man...there's a lot! Lucky Charms, Frosted Flakes...."

"I _love_ Frosted Flakes. But you know what I always look forward to? Halloween, because Frankenberry and Boo Berry come back!"

Justin's eyes lit up. "Yeah! I like those, too! Like, why don't they have those all year....they're fucking amazing!"

"Right? What about Cheerios?"

"Eh...gotta be the honey...

"...nut!" Clay finished with a laugh.

"For real, otherwise they're just too plain."

And just like that, without knowing it, they had found their first real thing to bond over, just as so many other people do. Food. Unplanned, and rather unusual, but it was there all the same, and Justin's uncertainty about even being in the kitchen, let alone attempting to figure out if it was all right to get something to eat without asking first, was suddenly forgotten.

Food. The gateway to conversation, bonding, friendship and family. Something that, while growing up, Justin didn't always have readily available if it wasn't pre-packaged or processed in some way, as he just mentioned to Clay. There was breakfast and lunch at school, of course - but that was school food after all. He could always count on some kind of meal while at Bryce's house, but that just wasn't the same. It came from their cook, and while it was very good, there was still something rather cold about the whole process, to say nothing of the fact that Walker tended to have a smirk on his face while Justin ate, a silent reminder, Justin was now realizing more and more, of how much he took for granted and what he could hold over people - and that included something as simple as shared food.

"Can...will you really show me how to make one of those?" Justin asked, pointing to the pan and food. "Like...it's okay?"

"Of course it's okay. Let me get a bigger pan so we can make two at a time. Open that drawer over there," he said, pointing, "and get a spreader. It'll look kinda rounded."

Justin went to said drawer, opened it, and poked around until he found it. "This it?" he asked, holding it up.

"Yep. Okay, so spread some butter on one side each of four slices of bread, kinda thin...you know? Nice and even. You don't want too much on there.....yeah, that's perfect, okay spread away."

And that was the afternoon Clay Jensen showed Justin Foley how to make a grilled ham and cheese. Something mundane, something commonplace...and yet, something meaningful. Clay was patient as he explained and showed each step, how not to overcrowd the pan, and not to put too much of the filling in between the slices of bread so each side would toast evenly. It was, as Justin would tell him much later, the best sandwich he had ever had. Not that it was five-star cuisine by any means, that didn't make it the best. What made it the best, was that he had been shown how, and got to help, without being put down or ridiculed. 

What also made it the best, was who it was that had shown him how.

 

**********

 

As they ate together, it was Justin's turn to start a conversation.

"So, you seem...I dunno....like, happier than yesterday. When you asked me."

Clay nodded and wiped his mouth before answering. "Yeah. Yesterday was a lot, and I was still in a mood I suppose. I dunno, I just want to _try_ and be normal again. I know it'll never be the way it was, but it's...hard to explain, I guess. I'm tired of being angry and upset all the fucking time. Normal is...good. Better."

Justin took a big bite and chewed as he spoke. "We'd better be careful with the f-bomb man, after the talk this morning." What he was referring to was the breakfast conversation that morning, when some of the new house "rules" were being discussed and revealed. One of those was Lainie asking that the language that had started to become rather frequent be toned down, if not eliminated altogether.

"Justin, swallow your food before you talk...gross, man. And yeah, I know, but I figure if it's just you and me....you know, I never used to swear in front of my parents before all of this started? I guess I would slip here and there, but here lately? I'm surprised they haven't washed my mouth out with soap by now. Anyway....so, yeah, I really need some normal in my life again."

Having swallowed before speaking this time, Justin continued. "Yeah, I get that. So, what's with the big meeting tonight?"

"Well, you need to get caught up as much as you can with school, so I spread the word to a bunch of people who could help. Alex...which means Zach will be there. Tony, of course. Jess. I think Ryan said he might stop by. Um, and....Sheri." Clay started to blush a little as he finished by mentioning Sheri Holland's name, which did not go unnoticed by Justin, who broke out into a big grin.

"You....dude, do you like Sheri? I mean, I kinda picked up on it a little when she came over to babysit me."

"Shut up...."

"Hey, it's okay, I think it's awesome man! I mean....you really should get laid, you know? You wouldn't be so uptight all the time."

"Justin...." Clay turned more red.

"You _do_ like her!"

"She's.....she's just a really good friend. That's all."

"Uh huh. Sure, Jensen. Clay! Clay. Sorry."

"Anyway! Moving on. We need to tell everyone about the adoption, also. And I had an idea....maybe a crazy idea, but I'll bring that up tonight."

Justin nodded in reply and pondered his next words carefully, looking at his sandwich as he did so. "Why....why did you agree?" he asked quietly.

"Agree to what?" Clay took another bite.

"The adoption. You said your mom and dad left it up to you. Why did you agree?"

Clay chewed and swallowed, putting the half he was eating down on his plate. "It's....complicated."

"Okay."

"I...Justin. I don't know if I'm ready to go into all of it right now. But I will. Eventually. But for right now, let's just say...it felt like it was the right thing to do."

Nodding again, Justin continued to look at his food. "I told you though...I'm really fucked up...."

"And so am I, in certain ways, like I told you."

"...and I don't want to be any trouble, like I said last night. I don't want to be like, a charity case or whatever."

"You....don't think that's what this is. Do you? My parents wouldn't have suggested it if they didn't really want to do this, go like, all in or whatever. It's not charity, Justin. They want you to be a part of our family. _I_ want you to be a part of our family. You need stability, and....dude, you're not crying again, are you?"

"Shut up," Justin laughed it off, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve. "Yeah. I am. A little. It's...nice to be wanted, I guess."

The right side of Clay's mouth came up in a half-smile. "Well. It'll be nice to have someone around to talk to who gets it, you know? Among other things."

"Other things?"

"Yeah...like I said, I'll tell you eventually."

Justin nodded again as Clay took another bite. "Are....like, are you okay though? I mean, are you....better?"

Clay tilted his head as he chewed, allowing Justin to continue. "Like....when I found you on your bed that night, and then over at Bryce's place...I knew something was wrong, but...."

Swallowing and sighing, it as Clay's turn to look down. "Oh. I....I don't know. I think I am....I hope I am. I was....so, please don't say anything to anyone, okay? Especially my parents. But...I was seeing Hannah. Talking to her."

"Like....a ghost or something?"

Clay shook his head. "I don't really know. Yesterday, at the service....I saw her for the last time, maybe? Like, I saw her walk out of the church while I was speaking."

"Clay....man, that's....shit. I...I don't know what to say."

"It's okay," Clay shrugged. "I'm not sure if there is anything to say," he said, biting his lower lip. "I'm....I think I'm all right now. I just....I miss her."

"I know. I do, too. Uh...hey, so...you really think I can get caught up and everything? With school?" Justin asked, trying to change the subject, seeing the sad look that had come over Clay's face.

"Well....we're gonna find out. We'll....I'll help. Okay? Let's finish these before they get cold."

 

**********

 

Following dinner - Matt had brought home Chinese take out, and Lainie arrived a few minutes after her husband did - Justin retreated back upstairs to the room he now shared and paced around it for a few minutes. Internally, he wrestled with a number of questions:

Why was he...happy?

Did he deserve to be happy?

Clay. Why was Clay being so good to him when he didn't deserve it, after everything that had happened?

Did Clay still hate him, and was this all for show?

Matt and Lainie Jensen....did they _really_ want him as another son?

Me?

_Why?_

Sighing, he sat down on the couch, and glanced over at his blue gym bag. 

It was in there.

Calling to him.

All these self-doubts....they would all just go away. One little shot, in between the toes. No one would ever know...who the fuck inspected someone's feet.

Right?

That's when Clay came upstairs and into the room.

"Come on, let's go."

"Oh. You....you don't really have to take....I mean, this is your thing, I can just meet you at the coffee place or whatever."

"Okay. A) how would you get there when I have the car, and, B) Justin....I _want_ you to come with me. Really."

"Yeah? Like...you're sure?"

Clay rolled his eyes. "Get your school stuff and let's go. Bring a jacket, too."

Justin got up and joined Clay at the door, picking up his book bag along the way. "But....why do you want me to come with you?"

"Because, you're going to be my....you're going to live here with me, and....I guess I'd like it if you...did stuff with me. Is...that okay?" Clay's voice got softer as he finished. "I mean, if you really don't want to come, then I guess it's all right..."

Seeing a look of disappointment come over Clay made Justin lower his eyes yet again on this Friday, suddenly a little ashamed for being so hesitant. Looking back up at an expectant roommate, he smiled. "Yeah...yeah, okay. I'd like to do this with you if you really want me to."

Clay's good mood returned, as did his smile. "Okay. Cool. Let's go then."

"So...where are we going, exactly?"

"Let me put it this way," he explained as they trotted down the stairs, "you really liked reading that comic book last night...."

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers!
> 
> One of the things I'm really trying to do here is use more of the "voice" and characterization of Clay and Justin, with some subtle touches of my own, as they are depicted by S2E13. So, if they don't exactly "sound" or seem like the way I've portrayed them in my original story...well, that's why! I hope I'm sort of successful with this! Oh, and not every chapter in "Times Past" will be a part of the lead up, as I want to look at a few other things that were touched on or hinted at in "Maze."
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed this one! I really want to explore Justin's home life and background in the Mazeverse prior to becoming a Jensen, and with that said, I do think it makes sense that the Foley "home" wouldn't have had a lot of fresh ingredients to make something to eat, and why he wouldn't have been able to make this for himself. 
> 
> Hey...y'all like the angst and heartbreak....right? Yes?
> 
> So what's next, you ask? Oh. Not much.
> 
> Just the Secret Origin of the Deranged Over-Protective Scooby Gang. Plus, Clay and Justin's first night out. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for your comments and feedback (tbh I'm a little worried since chapter one didn't get a lot! is...this one okay?) and your kudos, and most especially thank you for reading! Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return in our next chapter, coming soon! Take care!


	3. Just Because

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay shows Justin a part of his life and does some things, just because...

 

Having parked the car in the municipal lot, Clay and Justin walked two blocks down to the shopping plaza in downtown Crestmont. Several blocks in length, it had once been open to traffic, but many years ago it was closed off and made into a pedestrian mall. Recently, it had undergone somewhat of a renaissance, with a combination of local shops opening, smaller national chains, and a few restaurants as well. It was a few blocks over from Monet's, and where Baker's drugstore had been located.

Justin was somewhat familiar with the plaza, but he had never had a reason to walk through it, much less shop there. The items sold would have been a luxury for him, well out of the price range of what his mother would ever have been able to afford even in relatively decent times for them financially. In fact, most of the downtown area was still rather foreign to him, and he felt a little uncomfortable. The first time he had been to Monet's, for example, he had asked Hannah if they served Gatorade. Clay, on the other hand, was walking alongside him with a spring in his step and a smile on his face, happy to be back to doing something routine again, as he had told Justin earlier that day over their after school snack. Getting back to normal felt good.

"Where are we going, again?" Justin asked.

"You'll see. We're almost there."

Walking a few more feet, Clay turned to Justin and dramatically swept his right arm out by way of introduction. "Welcome to Moondog's!" he said with a grin.

Moondog's Comics was _the_ place to go in Crestmont for ones superhero needs. The brightly lit windows had life sized cardboard cut outs of various comic book and movie characters, and Justin saw Superman, Iron Man, Deadpool and Batman staring back at him. Alongside those were action figures, graphic novels, and stacks of Funko Pops, including the newly released ones from the 'Killer Alien Robots' series. There were other toys as well, including, as Clay explained much later, a Dalek from 'Doctor Who' chasing down a Groot action figure. Justin took it all in: the gleaming white storefront, the neon sign in bright red, all of the items in the windows, and a rather busy store, as there were many customers inside.

"Well, c'mon," Clay said, opening and holding open the door.

"What is this place?" Justin asked as he walked through.

"Well....you said you liked that comic you were reading last night, right?"

"I mean, yeah...it was kinda cool."

"Okay then. This is where I get them from. Hi, Dan!" Clay waved to the clerk at the front counter, who nodded back with a smile.

"Clay Jensen! 'Bout time we got to see you again. Where have you been?"

"Long story, man. Hey, this is Justin. My family is going to foster and adopt him."

Justin gave a little wave. "Uh...hi."

"Wow, foster and adopt, huh? Yeah, sounds like we have a lot to catch up on. Well, I've got your holds from last month back here waiting on you, take your time."

Leaning over, Justin spoke quietly. "You know, you can, like...tell people I'm your roommate or something if you want."

That stopped Clay in his tracks. "Roommate? But...you're going to be more than that. Why wouldn't I introduce you as...Justin, are you...embarrassed by this?"

"What? No! No, I'm not. It's just...it's a lot to take in, you know?"

"Oh. I guess I never thought of that. Well. Okay. I guess I can tone it down just a little," Clay replied, a bit crestfallen.

Realizing for the second time that evening that he inadvertently hurt Clay's feelings, Justin looked around the store again and changed the subject. "So...what is all this, anyway?"

Given the opening to introduce someone to his one of his favorite hobbies, if not his most favorite, Clay perked back up and began to explain. "Right, so in the middle, all these tables with the boxes? Those are back issues. Some of them even go back to the 1960s. Over there," Clay pointed to his left at the wall as he led Justin over, "are all the new releases. That side has action figures and other toys, pop culture kind of stuff. C'mon, I'm going to pick up the newest issues and then get the ones from last month that I missed. I want to look around, too."

Justin simply nodded as he took it all in, looking all around the store and following Clay, who was clearly in his element. His new foster brother began picking up several comics from their individual slots, slowly walking in front of them and talking to himself under his breath. "This one...this one....oooh, gotta get that, supposed to be a really good issue...this one ties in to the summer annual, can't miss that one..."

Justin stopped in front of another section next to the new releases and noticed that they contained what appeared to be larger books. "What're these?"

"Ah, now these are graphic novels and collections. So, a graphic novel is basically a much larger comic book, really. Collected editions are just that, they have multiple issues collected together. Take a look at them," Clay explained as he pointed at some of the Marvel ones. "Here...flip through Iron Man. I feel like you'd really like him."

"Yeah?" Justin pulled a 'Marvel Essentials' of Iron Man off the shelf and looked at the cover. "Why's that?"

"Well, he has an awesome suit of armor that does all kinds of things, and he basically was a playboy back in the day and dated a lot of women. So...."

"Say no more," Justin grinned. "I like him already. Huh...why is this in black and white and all the others are in color?"

"That's to keep the price down." Clay watched as Justin began to flip through the pages and read a little bit. "You know what...I don't have that one, let's add it to the pile here."

Justin handed it over. "How can you....isn't this kind of expensive?"

"Yeah, it can add up," Clay answered as they walked over to the toys and pop culture section. "But, I've been working at the theater for awhile now and have a decent amount saved, so....oh hey, cool! Look, they've got new robots!"

They looked at the action figures and Pops and other toys and collectibles for several minutes, Clay explaining who each character was and what a 'build a figure' series was all about. Finally, they made their way to the counter, and as Clay engaged the clerk in conversation for a few minutes as he paid, Justin looked at the packages of Magic: The Gathering and other cards through the glass case. As they stepped back outside, Clay handed one of the bags over.

"Here," he said with a smile.

Taking it with a confused look, Justin opened the bag and saw the Iron Man book inside. "I don't get it...?"

"What's to get? That's for you."

"But I thought you said you didn't have this one."

"I don't. So when you're done, let me borrow it."

"Clay, you didn't have to buy me this."

"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to. Like I said, I think you'll really like him, and for some reason he kind of reminds me of you. Must be the snark and the attitude, to say nothing of the ladies."

Justin pulled out the book and looked at the cover. "And like....there's no catch or anything?"

Now it was Clay's turn to be confused. "Catch?"

"Bryce...would buy things for me when I needed them. We didn't have a lot of money for stuff I would need, for school or whatever. But I always felt like he held it over me....that I -"

"Justin, I'm  _not_ Bryce. You're going to be family, and family does things sometimes just because. You don't owe me anything, I just...look, I know you said it's a lot to absorb right away, and I get it. But I just wanted to do some nice stuff for you tonight, partly because I was sort of a shit to you on and off during the last year..."

"Oh, and I wasn't with you?" Justin grinned.

"This is true, yes, but let me finish. Partly that, and partly because...I guess I kind of want to? Is that okay? Hey, if nothing else, consider tonight a big thank you for helping me with the clubhouse and the shit in front of Bryce's home and all that, and like a...I don't know, a housewarming gift or whatever. Okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, okay. Thanks, man. This is...really nice of you. I don't think anyone's ever gotten me anything 'just because' before." Justin looked down and smiled, trying not to cry for the third time in front of Clay, who smiled back. "Sorry about what I said inside."

"It's fine. But, if it'll make you a little more at ease, if you really want to be known as 'Clay's roommate' until you get used to all of this....then, I guess I can do that."

Justin nodded as they walked down the plaza. "If that's okay, yeah...for a little while, anyhow."

Clay nodded back in return, but said nothing.

"That disappoints you, doesn't it?"

Clay shrugged.

"What?"

"I mean...maybe a little, yeah." Although, what he was really thinking was, _Yes, it does. Surprise, surprise._

"Why?"

"It's," Clay sighed as they stopped in front of a directory listing all of the shops and their locations, "like I've said, it's complicated."

"So? Try me. I can do complicated. Hey, if I could pull juvie, I can handle Clay Jensen complicated. Maybe. I think?"

Clay chuckled at that and shrugged again. "I don't really want to go into it all right this very minute. But, maybe I like the idea of having a brother."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Even one as fucked up as me?"

"Well, I guess we're gonna find out. And I keep telling you, I'm fucked up in certain ways myself. Anyway....I said I'd tell you about it eventually, and I will. C'mon, next is GameStop."

"Jensen, come on, that's too fucking much! Really?"

"I'll let that one slide, _Foley_ ," Clay grinned. "And they have used games which are a lot cheaper. Besides, I don't think you'll want to play the games I have, so...."

"Let me guess. A lot of wizards and shit?"

"Basically, yes. So let's pick out a couple you'll like and that I'll probably hate."

"Just because?"

"Yes," Clay agreed. "Just because."

 

**********

 

Predictably, Justin had settled on two games that Clay would never have considered purchasing for himself ( _Call of Duty: WWII_ and _Uncharted_ ), and there was one last stop before it was time to head over to Monet's and meet up with the others.

"Ice cream?" Justin asked. "You seriously treat yourself to ice cream on Friday nights. Clay...we really need to get you laid."

"Shut up," Clay rolled his eyes. "It's not ice cream. It's gelato."

"Okay, now I think you're just making up words."

"No I'm not," Clay laughed. "It's Italian style ice cream."

"That's what I said, it's ice cream!"

Sighing, Clay led Justin inside the shop and up to the counter. "What's your favorite flavor?"

"Uhhh....chocolate?"

"Okay, so, they've got milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate hazelnut, dark chocolate with orange..."

Justin shook his head. "Jesus, okay...just, like, regular chocolate I guess."

One generous scoop of milk chocolate, and one of stracciatella for Clay, they sat down at one of the small tables to enjoy their dessert.

"Oh....oh, holy shit..." Justin said after the first spoonful. "This is fucking amazing."

"Told you."

"So, this dance tomorrow night, the Spring Fling. I think we should wear ties."

Clay made a face at hearing this. "Dude, slow down or you'll get brain freeze. And ties? It's not even a formal dance, and if I recall correctly, you don't know how to tie a tie."

"So? You can teach me how."

"Really, you're going to get brain freeze...they're not coming to take it from you. I mean, I can teach you, no problem. But why do you want to wear a tie?"

Justin was now rapidly scraping the bottom of his bowl. "I dunno. I guess I just want to look nice."

"You know I really don't want to go to this thing. Right?"

"Clay, lighten up man. Come on, it'll be fun. Think about it, after all the bullshit we've been through this goddamn year, don't we deserve one night? It'll be fine, nothing's going to happen. Ow...ow, ow, ow..." Justin put down his bowl and put a hand up to his forehead.

"I tried to tell you."

"Yeah, yeah, dumbass..."

"Okay," Clay put his spoon down. "What did we say about that?"

Wincing, Justin continued to rub his forehead. "We didn't say anything, you said you'd think about it. Fuck, this hurts..."

Clay shook his head and took another spoonful. "You know Bryce is probably going to be there."

Thankfully, Justin's brain freeze had started to dissipate, and he shook his head a little to clear the rest of it away. It wasn't Bryce that he was concerned about, figuring he could handle his presence. After all, they were both on probation, so they'd have to behave themselves. No fights like in the hallway at Liberty several weeks back. No, instead it was Jessica Davis that he wanted to see, even if she was going with Alex Standall.

"Yeah, so let him be there. Look, let's dress up and knock the ladies dead, and have a good time. Yeah?"

"Fine," Clay sighed. "You know I haven't been to a school dance since..."

"Oh. Oh, shit. Winter formal. Really?"

"Yeah."

Justin watched as Clay poked at his gelato with his spoon. "I'm just worried that's all I'll be able to think about. Her," he said quietly.

"Hey, Clay. Listen. I bet it's going to be a lot of fun tomorrow night, and nothing will happen, and you'll have a great time. You said you wanted things to get back to normal again, right?"

Clay nodded in reply.

"Okay then. You may hate them, but believe it or not, school dances are normal."

Clay simply nodded again as he looked down and ate another spoonful, slowly.

"You know what? This was fun tonight. Like, I got to know you better or whatever, got to see a part of what makes you, you. Thanks again, for all of this. Just because."

"You're welcome," Clay smiled. "We'd better get going, the others should be getting to Monet's soon."

Justin groaned and stood up. "School shit on a Friday night. Really?"

"Yes, really." Clay finished his gelato and stood up as well. "You want to get caught up, right?"

"Okay, okay...you win. I think you just want to see Sheri," Justin winked as they made their way to the door.

"Oh my God, shut up, Justin..."

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back!
> 
> There really was a chain when Ye Writer was growing up in Chicago called "Moondog's," and like Clay it was the place to go for comic books. It has long since been out of business, so I figured, why not open one in Crestmont?
> 
> Some thanks to a couple of my fellow authors, as I've borrowed a couple of their ideas (and I hope they don't mind!!): Horatiofrog has established in "Fuck the Lions, Fear the Sheep" the idea of a shopping plaza in or around Crestmont, and I sort of ran with it and made it outdoors. If you're familiar with Oak Park, Illinois, and when Lake Street was closed to traffic, think that. Bitterblue33 over at "A Destiny Which Makes Us Brothers" mentions in Chapter Six of that story the game Uncharted, which Justin loves and Clay hates. 
> 
> The Secret Origins of our Gang coming together is...well, coming! Originally it was going to be a part of this chapter, but I felt that it needed it's own, with plenty of room to explore how that all came about.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoyed this one! Thank you for the kudos and most especially your comments! Don't forget to find me over at Tumblr, and stay tuned! Clay and Justin (and a whole bunch more) will return, coming soon! See you then!


	4. Secret Origins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we witness the Secret Origin of the Deranged Over-Protective Scooby Gang....

**Thursday Evening, June 21, 2018**

 

"You know, I think mom bought some of that gelato for later."

"Oh yeah? You gonna scarf it down like it's going out of style?"

Clay grinned as Justin glared at him.

"Brain freeze hurts. Dumbass."

"Well, I tried to tell you! But do you listen to me? Ever? Nooooo....."

"Uh huh. Whatever."

Laughing, Clay leaned back in his chair a little. "Hopefully you learned your lesson. Oh, Chris loves ice cream, so don't be surprised if you have someone helping you eat it."

 

 

 

**Friday Evening, April 20, 2018**

After dropping off the bags from Moondog's and GameStop at the car and retrieving their backpacks, Clay and Justin made their way back over towards the plaza and in the direction of Monet's, and while Clay was still clearly the most relaxed he had been in quite some time, Justin was back to being a bundle of nerves. Specifically, he was thinking ahead to the month and a half that remained of the school year, and whether or not it was even worth attempting to try and accomplish as much as he could. Being in juvenile detention for four weeks, on top of the time he spent homeless and on the streets, meant that he had a significant amount of ground to make up. Based on discussions with school administrators and teachers that day, he was going to be given an opportunity to complete the work he had missed, but summer classes loomed in his future.

"So, you really think I can get all caught up? Mr. Porter gave me a bunch of info on summer school before he left, and I'm gonna have to do it anyway with Lit. This really worth it?"

Clay adjusted his backpack and nodded. "Yeah, I think it is. C'mon man, you've got to at least give it a try. We'll all help."

Hearing that, Justin stopped and put his arm out to stop Clay as well. "About that. So...I don't think Zach will mind helping me, maybe Alex. You sure about the others? I mean...I was kind of a dick before I took off....."

"Yeah, you were," Clay replied without thinking, and saw a hurt look come over Justin again, who pulled his arm back and looked down at the sidewalk. "Shit! Justin...dude, I didn't mean that, it just slipped out. I apologize."

Shaking his head, Justin took a deep breath but didn't look back up. "You don't have to apologize. I was a dick. To you, to a whole bunch of people," he practically whispered.

"Dammit." Clay swore under his breath. "That...I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. Look. Let's talk to them, okay? Besides, I've got some other things I want to say to them as it is."

"They don't owe me anything, Clay. Neither do you."

"I know that. But you're going to be my brother, and I've always....." Clay stopped himself, not quite ready to go into all of it just yet, and certainly not on a semi-crowded sidewalk. "Like I told you, maybe I like the idea of it. Even if you do call yourself my 'roommate' for a little while. As for school? Man, you've got to at least _try_. Okay, so like...if you were going to make a touchdown or whatever and time was running out..."

"Jensen, I played basketball, not football," Justin looked up and chuckled.

"Clay. Clay. It's Clay. Please, for the love of....okay, whatever. Basketball then. Just let me try and get a sports metaphor in here. So if you had to make a.....free throw?" Clay looked questioningly.

Justin nodded and laughed a little. "Yes, that's what they're called."

"Right, so if you had to make a free throw, would you walk up to try it and just....not? Like, walk away or whatever?"

"Of course not, I'd make the attempt."

"All right then. So, you've got to make this attempt. It's like when the Collector captured a bunch of the Avengers, and then in issue 174 the rest of the team came and saved them. They didn't give up."

Justin's eyes widened at the comic book reference. "I'll take your word for it. And you really need to get laid."

"Whatever," Clay rolled his eyes. "Look...I didn't give up, did I? On getting justice for Hannah? For Jess? I didn't give up on you, when I easily could have," he nudged Justin's shoulder. "And...I didn't give up on myself. Here, look." Pushing up the sleeve of his hoodie, he held out his left wrist to show Justin his tattoo. "I had it finished up two days ago, got it started when I was still with Skye."

"The fuck is that?"

"It's a semicolon. It's a symbol of suicide awareness. I got it for Hannah, originally, but I finished it for me - the whole thing in front of Bryce's house - and for Alex. Justin, if you want this, I mean _really_ want this...if you're done doing fucked up things, like you told me, then you've got to at least try. And if you're in summer school longer, so what? We'll get through this. Okay?"

 _What did I do to deserve this,_ Justin thought to himself. _This is the kid I suggested we have killed at one point. And he's being...nice to me.  
_

"Yeah...yeah, okay. I guess we can try."

Pulling his sleeve back down, Clay started to walk again, Justin alongside. "All right, then. Good. Just leave this to me and let me help fix it. We've got this."

 

**********

 

Seated around the largest table at Monet's were eight students whose lives had become intertwined over the course of the last year. Siting next to Justin, Clay looked around the table at the rest of them in turn.

Ryan Shaver was the only senior among them, and was already thinking ahead to his gap year following graduation. He intended to explore and learn and see as much as he could, first across then country and then in Europe. While he still had moments where a certain arrogance and selfishness were prominent, possibly because of his intelligence or possibly to mask self-esteem issues, he nevertheless felt a great deal of remorse regarding what had happened to Hannah. He had betrayed her trust when she saw him as a friend. While he thought that much of what Clay had done over the last few weeks was rather asinine, he did like him, and did not mind coming when asked.

Seated to his right, Courtney Crimsen had undergone a major change in personality the last several weeks, once she came out. For the first time in her life, she felt that she could be true to herself, and that she needed to admit her mistakes. When Clay reached out to her about coming this evening, she didn't hesitate to accept, wanting to prove further her repentance.

Sheri Holland had been repentant for quite some time now, over the death of Jeff Atkins as much as Hannah's suicide. She wasn't a bad person, not really; she made a grave error in judgement, and God only knew what kinds of emotional turmoil she might still be dealing with as a result. Clay had been crushing on her hard for some time now, and as she caught his eye and gave him a smile, he blushed and looked away, across the table to...

Alex Standall. He and Alex had started out as friendly acquaintances who would occasionally talk to one another when he transferred to Liberty High. More recently, and following Alex's attempted suicide, they had begun to grow closer and had developed a real friendship. Admittedly there were some rocky points - such as when Clay released Hannah's tapes - but they had come to respect and trust one another. Clay's tattoo was for him just as much as it was for Hannah or himself. He liked Alex, and wanted to spend more time with him.

Where Alex went, Zach Dempsey was sure to follow - his best friend, physical therapist, confidant and counselor. He, too, had suffered emotional trauma following the death of his father. That, plus perhaps a desire to want to fit in, had caused him to say and do things to Hannah and others that he now regretted tremendously. Alex once told him that he was "an entitled idiot who does cruel, stupid things," and he was right to say that at the time. But, Alex also commented that Zach had a decent heart, which he liked to think was true. He tried to be kind and understanding, and wanted to make up for the mistakes he had made. Further, he regretted not being there for Alex or seeing the signs that his friend was in pain, and he wanted to atone for that. Clay didn't know Zach as well as the others, but he was a good guy and turning out to be a pretty good friend.

Finally, Tony Padilla. What Zach was to Alex, Tony was to Clay: best friend, confidant, protector. He was sure to step up and help you when needed, all you had to do was ask. Sometimes, not even that; Tony very often just instinctively knew when people needed advice or assistance. The 'unhelpful' Yoda. Clay loved him like a brother, and that gave him cause for some concern. It was telling him about the intent to adopt Justin that worried Clay the most, wondering how he would take it.

"So," Clay began as all eyes turned to him, "thanks for coming tonight, I know it's Friday night and I promise this won't take too long. I hope. I've got a couple of things I want to talk to you all about, and the first is a big favor. For Justin," he said, looking at his new foster brother. "We all know he missed a lot of school, and we all know the reasons why, so we don't need to rehash that or anything. But, he really wants to get caught up as much as he can, and I think it would be...well, good of us to help him out as much as we can. Assignments, notes, whatever. I know it's a lot to ask in a way, because we've all got our own work to complete as well, but...."

"Clay," Ryan interrupted, "why are you asking us, and not Justin? I mean, the boy _is_ right there next to you, we can all see him. And we know he can speak..."

Alex rolled his eyes and interjected. "Ryan, don't be snarky, cut him some slack. Go on, Clay."

"Well....I guess I was...that is, I," Clay started up again, before Justin spoke up for himself.

"It...this was Clay's idea," he said. "To ask you all. You all don't have to help, and I know I really don't deserve your help after everything. But...I want to try. I...understand if you don't want to, though."

The group became silent as Justin looked down. After an uncomfortable minute or so, Tony spoke up.

"What classes are you in again?"

Looking back up at them, Justin started to list them off. "Well...PE, obviously, but I hope I wouldn't need help with that..."

"As skinny as you've gotten, I wouldn't be so sure," Zach grinned. "But, I'll start working out with you outside of class a few times a week, get you back into shape."

"Okay, yeah...no, that'd be great, man. English Lit, which is gonna be a bitch because I'm gonna have to do summer school for it no matter what, she said. What I make for a final grade is gonna determine how long."

"Who do you have?" Courtney asked.

"Miss Skowron."

"I have her earlier in the day than you do. Ryan had her last year, so between the two of us, we might be able to help. Right?" she asked Ryan who stared back. " _Right_?"

"Okay, fine!" Ryan raised his hands in defeat. "I'll do my part in giving aid and comfort to the poor child. Fortunately for you all, I happen to be our resident literature expert. Maybe I can help you with that rat's nest you call hair lately as well."

"There's nothing wrong with my hair!" Justin said defensively.

"Honey. Have you seen how short it is?"

"They cut it short in juvie, it's not my fault!"

"Still...honey, just no..."

"Moving on," Tony declared. "What else, Justin?"

"Um, Earth Science..."

"I've got that one, no problem," Clay said.

"Okay. Then I've got Computer Science..."

Tony nodded. "I can help with that one. Next?"

"Algebra..."

"Mine also. Hey, I'm good at math, and I like it," Clay defended himself. "Math is fun."

Tony shook his head and laughed. "I worry about you sometimes, Clay. What else?"

"US History."

"Well," Sheri said, "that's the one where I'm in the same boat as you...I'm going to have to take it during the summer so we can work together."

"And I'm doing well in it," Alex agreed. "I may not think it's fun like Clay with math, but it's not horrific or anything."

"Okay, then. So, we're all in agreement, we'll help Justin out?" Clay asked the group. Head nods and murmurs of consent indicated that the first part of his plan had worked, albeit with a nudge from Tony. "Great! This is really great, guys. Thank you."

"Yeah...thanks," Justin agreed. "Really. This is so awesome of you all."

"There's a couple other things I wanted to talk to you all about. Other than Justin, you all heard what I said yesterday at Hannah's service, and I meant every word of it. The world around us...everything at school...we all saw how dark and just bad it can really get. And no one should ever have to feel like they don't fit in or they don't belong....or, if someone is in a bad way, if someone is desperate, we shouldn't turn our backs on them. We should help them. Step up. And I think it starts with us. Each of us. And a couple of our friends who aren't here right now, like Jess, of course. Scott and Cyrus, also. Tyler, even."

Clay paused as he noticed each of them was giving him their rapt attention.

"So, what I'd like to suggest is since we've already come together....we stay together. We've got a bond here. A weird, kind of deranged bond, but it's a bond all the same. I think in spite of it all, we've become decent friends, and I'll be honest....I wouldn't mind being better friends with you all. And I don't know if that means just helping each other with school, or hanging out or whatever. But I know I'd like to try."

Again, the group went quiet as they digested what Clay had proposed, that in essence they become a team.

"So what you're asking us," Alex said, breaking the ice, "is that we become like the gang from Scooby Doo?"

"Well. I don't know about the whole finding old men under monster masks bit...but you have to admit, we got pretty good at solving mysteries here lately. I mean, it's not a horrible analogy," Clay answered to a few chuckles and several grins.

"The first person to call me 'Shaggy' is going to risk getting smacked. But it's not a bad idea for us to stick together like you're talking about. I'm in," Tony said.

"Ruh row," Zach laughed. "Yeah, okay. Count me in, too."

"Of course you'd make a Scooby noise," Alex rolled his eyes again. "But yeah, I like it. I'm down."

"Alex, you struck me more as Scrappy Doo. I'm in, also," Sheri smiled once more at Clay, who once more blushed but smiled back. Which did not go unnoticed by Justin, who nudged Clay's leg with a grin.

"I'm attempting to graduate here soon, but I _suppose_ if you people are going to do the whole hanging out and solving mysteries, I want to be in on it as well. Probably not all the time, so make me an honorary member of this Scooby Gang," Ryan said with a smile.

"That goes for me as well," Courtney agreed. "I've got someone to introduce everyone to tomorrow night, and she gets some priorities....but I'd love to be a part of this when I can."

"Okay. Cool. Yeah...cool," Clay nodded and smiled. "Thank you all, really. I think we need to set an example for others. And we'll have some fun along the way."

"As the deranged Scooby Gang?" Justin asked.

"Deranged? Eh, maybe. I prefer to think of ourselves as being....protective of one another. Maybe over protective at times and when we need to be, but all the same. And, Scooby Gang? Sure, why not."

 

**********

 

Phone numbers were exchanged, since not everyone had each others, and refills of drinks were gotten before Clay turned to the last item on the agenda.

"You all know Justin has been living with me, and now he's in the emergency custody of my parents. But, that's only temporary. My parents and I talked it over before he was released, and...we're going to adopt Justin."

Again, the group went quiet, and as Clay looked at each of them, this time he saw stunned faces looking back.

"Like, adopt him."

Still silence.

"Into our family."

Stunned looks were becoming shocked looks.

"As a Jensen."

"We know what adoption means, Clay," Alex finally spoke up. "That's....huh. Wow. Well, okay then. This is probably the best news we've heard about Justin in...ever?" That caused the tension to break, and the group laughed, including the foster brothers. "I think this will be good for the both of you. Clay, you're a good guy, and Justin, that'll be a good influence on you. Congratulations."

"I was not expecting this. At all. But hey, it's pretty awesome, you deserve a good family. Congrats, J! So can we call you 'Little Jensen' now?" Zach grinned.

"Fuck no," Justin laughed in reply, and even Clay chuckled at that one.

"I think that is the sweetest thing, Clay!" Sheri said, resulting in yet more redness flushing Clay's face. "Umm...thanks," he shyly replied.

"I somehow get the impression that I'll need to intervene with both of your hair at some point....but all the same, I think Alex is correct, this is good for you, Justin. You, too, Clay," Ryan said.

Courtney agreed. "You two did kind of have a sort of bromance going here from what I could tell, so this makes perfect sense."

Justin looked at Clay. "Bromance?"

"I'll tell you later," he replied.

Tony shook his head. " _Madre Dios._ Well, if there's anything I've learned this last year, it's not to underestimate Clay Jensen. I get the feeling I'm going to have my work cut out for me now in keeping you _both_ out of trouble....but, what the hell, I've done worse things." He nodded before continuing. "What they said. This is good for you, Justin, and Clay....try to avoid listening to anything ridiculous he might suggest."

Clay looked at Justin and smiled. "Okay, then. Now we just gotta tell Scott and Cyrus. And Jess."

"Yeah," he nodded, "Jess. Alex, where is she tonight?"

"She....couldn't come. It's....Justin, her dad knows you're back, and..."

"Okay. I get it," Justin said sadly.

 

**********

 

The newly christened "Scooby Gang" finished their drinks and parted ways for the evening, planning on seeing each other the following evening at the dance. Clay, however, already had a plan in mind to see just how well this would work, but that would have to wait until earlier in the day.

"See," he told Justin as they walked back to the Prius. "That went fine! I told you I'd fix it."

"Yeah, you were right. It's still a lot to take in. Like, it's happening so fast...."

"I know. And...uh, you're probably gonna hate my next suggestion."

"Shit...what now?"

"Well," Clay pulled out his keys to unlock the car, "you want to wear a tie tomorrow night. That means you'll need a nice shirt. And pants. And since the plaza shops are open for a little while longer...."

"Jen- Clay! Clay. You bought me enough tonight, really. C'mon, man."

"Look," Clay tossed his backpack in the back seat and shut the door before resting his arms on top of the car. "Mom is going to take you shopping tomorrow as it is for things that you'll need. Now, do you want her to pick out _all_ of your clothes?"

Justin stared back at Clay and thought for a moment.

"Just promise you won't spend, like, a crazy amount. Okay? I feel bad enough about this already."

Locking the car again, they walked back in the direction of the shops.

 

**********

 

**Saturday Morning, April 21, 2018**

 

Clay stretched and yawned as he sat up and got out of bed. Looking across to the couch, he saw that Justin was not there, probably having woken up already.

"Weird. You practically have to dump a bucket of cold water on him," he muttered to himself as he rubbed his eyes, walking to the door, where he almost bumped into his roommate.

"Oh! Hey....y-you're up," Justin said, startled, as he hid a folded towel behind his back.

"Yeah, morning to you, too. Let's go get some breakfast after I piss. Big day today..." he paused to yawn again. "You're going out with mom, and I'm gonna text the Gang, see if they want to meet for lunch. And I need to teach you how to tie a tie apparently. See you downstairs," his still sleepy voice tailed off as he exited the room and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

"Yeah...see ya down there."

Exhaling in relief, Justin hurried over to his gym bag and put the towel and its contents back inside, making sure not to break the syringe. After zipping it closed, he pushed it under the couch, and stood up straight. 

And sighed.

And closed his eyes.

And smiled as a wave of euphoria swept through his body, the drugs bringing temporary relief from the doubts he harbored.

He felt warm.

He felt safe.

He felt these things for the wrong reasons; he knew that. But he'd deal with that, eventually. He knew he had to now. He had a home. He had...parents? A brother?

Maybe.

"Justin, let's go," Clay poked his head back in the room. "I smell coffee. You know, I never used to drink coffee until this year? Bad for my anxiety and all that."

"Hmmm? Yeah. Yeah, I'm coming."

He'd deal with it.

Eventually.

As it turned out, he wound up dealing with it sooner rather than later, and because of something that neither he, nor Clay, nor their friends would have expected or anticipated.

 

**********

 

Across town, Tyler Down gingerly got out of bed and walked slowly over to his dresser.

Tonight was the night. They would pay. They would all pay.

"Just like a forest fire," he said to himself. "A controlled burn."

"Honey, breakfast," his mother called from the kitchen.

"Coming, mom...be right there." Wincing, he grit his teeth, and carefully walked to his bedroom door.

_A controlled burn...._

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back!
> 
> And so, here you have it - the origins of the Scooby Gang! If you noticed, I added in just a touch of Clay's dialogue from S2E13 during his proposal to the group about them sticking together and watching out for one another. I felt it just made sense.
> 
> We have little touches here again of where we wind up in Maze Book One, most especially Clay getting all flustered around Sheri. Now, I did realize a major continuity error on my part as I went back and watched E13 in order to put this chapter and the next together: I forgot Courtney had started to date someone, and I have her going to the Prom with Ryan as a couple! 
> 
> Um...oops?
> 
> Well. I guess this gives Ye Writer an opportunity to address that somehow here in 'Times Past.' Yes, Let's just put it that way.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Coming up next, we have the Aftermath of E13, and we really pick up on the road to where Maze began. Also, be on the lookout for a Thanksgiving story, and something special on November 23 or thereabouts as well! Plus, I'll be getting back to 'This Time' and Justin and Jessica's story very soon. There's lots to come!
> 
> As always, thank you for your kudos, comments and suggestions! Don't forget I'm over at Tumblr @therealdaveofdaves if you'd like to chat over that way.
> 
> So stay tuned! Clay and Justin will return, coming soon! Take care!


	5. Aftermath - One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we see Clay stopping Tyler from committing mass murder, and start to explore the aftermath....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No specific warning per se, but the context of this chapter takes place during S2 E13, an attempted school shooting.

 

**Monday Afternoon, April 23, 2018**

Somehow, instinctively, he knew he'd find him here. It had sort of become their place, after all, in much the same way that Monet's had been his place with Hannah and Jess. It was their safe space, where they had gotten to know one another better. They had also discovered that by sitting in shared silence with one another, each exuded a sort of empathy, a warming comfort, in those quiet times. Simply being in each others presence and sharing in that stillness made a world of difference for their mental well-being. They each just _got it_. It had begun in the days after Hannah's death: Alex found Clay sitting by himself out there and came to join him. While they didn't say all that much to one another that day, Alex knew that in his own way he was helping Clay somehow cope and process what had happened, or at least try to. Unfortunately for Alex, that day did not help him nearly as much, and if anything else, it set him on a different path, one of introspection and guilt. He did not blame Clay for any of that, though, and actually looked forward to sitting out here with him regardless. Clay was a good guy, if a little too uptight at times, and had come to regard him as a good friend, even more after his own suicide attempt. 

It was a little tricky maneuvering up into the bleachers with his cane, but Alex had done it a few times now already and was getting better at it. The only downside is that he couldn't exactly come over unnoticed or quietly. But maybe it was better that way, for today at least.

"Hey, Clay," he said, sitting down next to his friend, who sat with hands clasped, staring straight ahead at nothing.

"Hi, Alex. You here to bitch and yell at me, too?" Clay asked. "Because I really don't need any more of that today. Between my parents, the police, Miss Singh, the others - I think I've had enough for a couple of days. You can bitch at me, like, on Wednesday or something. I'll let you do it all day long."

Alex shook his head. "No. I'm not going to bitch or yell or lecture. I just thought you might want some company is all."

"Oh. Okay."

Alex saw how broken Clay looked, and he sighed. "So...Clay, listen..."

"Alex, please. I really don't want to talk about it. Not right now."

"Did I say you had to?"

Now it was Clay's turn to sigh as he lowered his head. "No."

"Okay, then. Just listen for a second. All I wanted to say was...I think that was the bravest thing I've ever seen anyone do."

"It was stupid. I could have been killed. And it didn't work."

"Really? Did anyone get hurt?"

"No."

"All right. So, maybe it was stupid. But it was still really fucking brave."

Clay raised his head and looked back out on the football field. "He was still arrested," he said quietly. "I couldn't fix it."

"He needs help, Clay. He's alive and he'll get help. And everyone else is alive, too."

Clay nodded in reply. "Yeah. And everyone is pissed at me."

"No, they're not. They're still just shaken up is all. And even if they are pissed, so what? They'll get over it."

"I guess."

Alex turned his head and looked out on the field also, and that stillness, that shared comfort came over both of them. He didn't have to express anything; Alex knew Clay was feeling a little better just by having someone sit there with him. Still, a little encouragement never hurt, he figured.

"You're a good guy, Clay," he said after a couple of minutes. "I'm proud of you. And...thanks."

"Thanks, Alex."

"Do you want to...talk about something else? Like, everything with Justin or whatever?"

Clay shook his head. "Can we just sit here for awhile? I don't think they'll miss me in PE."

"Sure. Of course we can."

And they did, through the rest of the period. Just as he instinctively knew Clay would be out here, Alex also instinctively knew that this was what Clay needed right then - to sit in silence, to think about the events of the weekend, and how, if at all, they would move past it, and to have someone there with him. But, Alex had been right. They were alive.

That was half the battle. 

 

* * *

 

 

_Clay ran out of the gym and down the hallway, faster than he had ever run before._

_The evening before, he had told his friends that when someone was in a bad way, when someone was desperate, they shouldn't turn their backs on them. Now, he was putting his money where his mouth was._

I can fix this.

_Moments ago, Mackenzie, Cyrus' sister, had received a text message from Tyler Down, telling her to get out of the school, because he was on his way, and he wanted revenge. "It's time for a controlled burn," he had texted, the twisted metaphor he had come up with to describe what he was about to do._

We need to stop him....I can do this, I can fix it.

_Members of the newly christened "Scooby Gang" had huddled together to come up with some kind of course of action.  Only Alex seemed to be on the same page as Clay, that something had to be done to prevent this without the involvement of some kind of authority. "Tyler doesn't want to die!" he said.  "I know he doesn't."_

_"Justin, find Jessica! Get everyone you can, lock the doors, stay inside. And don't call the police! I gotta find Tony..."_

_"What the fuck? Clay!" Justin had replied as his foster brother ran off.  
_

I've got this...I'll fix it....I'll reason with him, I can stop him!

_Panting now, Clay pushed open the door that led to the parking lot and ran outside._

No one is going to get hurt. No one.

_"Tyler! Tyler...what...what are you doing?!"_

 

* * *

 

 

**Saturday Morning, April 21, 2018**

 

Justin had  adjusted to one thing in the Jensen household rather quickly, and that was the ritual of family breakfast. Every morning there was an abundance of food, with Matt and Lainie taking turns preparing it. Even on what Clay referred to as "cold cereal mornings," it was still supplemented by coffee and juice and probably toast as well. He loved it, and not simply for the meal - which was a far cry from his previous circumstances with his mother and whichever boyfriend she happened to be with that week and/or month. No, what else he had come to enjoy was the banter that went on among and between the members or the Jensen family as they prepared for their day. Matt would point out something he read in that mornings paper, or talk about the lecture he was going to give that day, or an unintentionally hilarious answer that one of his students had written in their blue book as part of their essay exam. Lainie would mention some details of a case she and Dennis were putting together and working on, or instructions for the day ("Clay, don't forget to get your hair cut after school today," or "Honey, we really need to work on the backyard this weekend"). Both would inquire about what Clay's day would entail, ask about his friends, maybe tease him about some girls at school, such as Sheri (to which, Clay would inevitably blush, roll his eyes, and moan the word "Mom," drawing out the vowel). 

He just loved it. Even as awkward as he still felt being a part of this household now, and with their intention of adopting him. It felt good.

Almost as good as the drugs that had coursed through his system a few minutes ago.

"Justin, do you have a preference as to where you'd like to get some clothes?" Lainie asked.

"Oh. You...you don't really have to do that, Mrs. Jensen. I've got some stuff, and Clay has been letting me borrow a few things."

"Dude...you're taller than me and my stuff barely fits you. You need some new clothes. Besides, you're getting a free shopping trip out of it," Clay replied, pouring some cream into his coffee.

"Well...yeah, but I mean...you all bought me some things when I was here before. I just feel bad that you're going to do it again is all."

"Justin, honey. That was hardly anything, it was just to get you through a few days. We always intended to take you back out again to get you what you need."

"Oh."

Matt folded the paper and placed it on the table. "Kiddo, it's fine. We promise. And from a practical standpoint, when the social worker checks in, I'm sure she'll want to ascertain that you're being provided for. Now, you wouldn't want her to know that you don't have enough socks and underwear, do you?" he winked.

"No...no, I guess not, Mr. Jensen."

"All right then."

"So," Lainie tried again. "What about Old Navy and then Target? Sound good?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah...yeah, that sounds good. Thank you. All of you, really. You don't.....I don't deserve this."

"Justin, everyone deserves a family and a home. And yes....that includes you. Eat your eggs before they get cold," Clay said before taking his own advice and digging in.

 

 

* * *

_"Get out of here, Clay. Go home."_

Reason with him...talk to him...talk him down...fix it...

_"No! No...I...don't. Don't do this Tyler."_

_"You need to leave. Right now."_

_"Tyler, please listen to me. You don't want to do this! I know you don't!"_

Keep him talking...

_"You don't fucking know anything about me."_

_"No. No, I do. I do because I hurt, too. And I'm pissed off. I didn't realize how bad it was for you...and I'm sorry that I didn't. I should've..."  
_

C'mon Tyler....talk to me....just talk...

_While this had been going on outside, Justin ran through the hallway, nearly bowling over Jessica, who had been returning from the restroom, in the process. He had been sent to look for her, and then determined to go outside and help Clay.  
_

_You're going to be family. Family does things sometimes, just because. That's what Clay had said the night before. And while he had instructed Justin to stay inside...he couldn't do that._

_"I've got to go outside and help Clay!"_

_"What?" she asked, a confused look on her face._

_"Tyler...Tyler is coming, maybe already here...and he's bringing a fuckton of guns and wants to start killing, something about controlled burns or whatever the fuck! Go...go back to the gym and hide!"  
_

_"Jesus! Did you call the police?"_

_"Clay said not to, but I think Zach is doing it anyway!"_

_"Justin! Justin, we should go and hide...find a place to hide!"_

_"No...no, I can't leave him out there by himself! I need to try and help him..."_

_"What? Justin..."_

_"No, I do!"_

_Clay's words from the evening before ran through his head._

_"I do! Just because..."_

_"Then I'll come with you!"_

_"Jess..."_

_"Don't fucking argue with me, let's go!"_

_Justin took her hand and took off running with her again, this time in the direction of the back door._

_Reaching the door, Justin let go of Jessica's hand and pushed it open, making his way outside in front of her._

_"CLAY!"_

* * *

 

Shopping with Lainie was a head spinning experience. Justin was now the proud owner of several new shirts (short and long-sleeved, and undershirts), jeans, khaki pants, socks and underwear, as well as toiletries and school supplies. She had even mentioned getting a cheaper laptop for him to use at school, and would look with Matt later in the week at someplace like Best Buy.

"Mrs. Jensen, really," Justin protested when he heard that bit of information. "You don't need to do that....I've made it this far in school without a laptop! I mean....you all got me a phone the last time."

Lainie looked over at him from behind the steering wheel and smiled as she pulled out of the parking lot of Target. "Well, wouldn't having one make getting caught up on your work easier?"

"I mean...maybe? I guess so. I've never had one of my own, so....but this is..."

"Justin. How do you think Clay has or gets the things he needs?"

"Umm...well, he works at the theater, and mentioned last night that he has money saved up?"

"Well, yes, he does. But that's his spending money and for his part of the car insurance. He'll buy a shirt or something here and there, but for the majority of it, his clothes and such? That's what we do. And if you're going to be a part of our family, then this is what we'll do for you also."

"Oh. I...I guess I never thought of it that way." Justin paused and looked out the passenger window and watched some cars in the next lane.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"I don't know. I'm...so I told Clay last night, this is a lot all at once. You know? Like, my mom, Amber - she just stopped trying after awhile, you know? I guess I'm used to fending for myself or whatever, or Bryce would get me things that I needed." Justin bit his lower lip and sighed. "But when he did that, he didn't do it...just because. He did it, I think, to like...control me, maybe? Like, if I didn't have him doing shi...uh, sorry, stuff, like that, I wouldn't have clothes for school or basketball gear or something to eat, and he - he just _knew_ that, and he'd drop little hints about it or whatever."

Lainie nodded, understanding.

"He was...I thought he was my friend, and like my brother. But it's pretty clear he wasn't. So....you and Mr. Jensen and Clay. Doing all this for me and not expecting anything in return..."

"Now, did I say you wouldn't have to do anything in return?" Lainie smiled.

Justin's head whipped to his left and he looked at Lainie in shock. "Oh..."

"There are things to do around the house during the week - help clean, dishes, garbage to be taken out. You and Clay will divide chores up. Or, if I need you to run an errand of some kind for me or Matt. Then, of course, there's going to school, daily, keeping up with your homework, making curfew. Things like that. So, that's our price."

"Oh! Oh...I thought...I thought you meant....I don't really know what I thought you meant, to be honest. That's....yeah, of course! I'll be glad to do those things!"

"Welcome to our family, Justin."

"Thanks. Thank you, Mrs. Jensen. Really."

"You know, if it makes you more comfortable calling me Lainie, you're welcome to do that."

"Um. Okay. Maybe...soon? I..I like using Mrs. Jensen for right now. That's okay, isn't it?"

"Of course it is, sweetheart."

Visibly relaxed now, Justin sat back in his seat and smiled.

 

* * *

 

_"Hey! G-go back inside!"_

_Clay turned around and saw Justin standing at the top of the steps, eyes wide, Jessica coming up behind him._

_"Jesus, Clay!"_

Let me do this, Justin! I've got this! Get back inside, you shithead!

_Tyler raised the rifle and took aim at Justin._

_"GO INSIDE!" Clay yelled, waving them off as he dashed ahead of and in front of Tyler again. Justin turned and pushed Jessica ahead of him, retreating back into the school._

_Rounding a corner, Justin immediately cursed himself for listening._

_"Stay here! I'll go back out there!"_

_"NO!" Jessica held onto Justin's arm. "No, please! Just...stay here! Stay with me!"_

_"Jess...I have to help Clay! I have to!"_

_"Get out of my fucking way," Tyler said angrily._

No no no...please Tyler...don't do this...let me help, let me fix it...

 

* * *

 

"...just a little bit of pomade, there we go. Okay, so I'm going to run it through and brush it back."

Feeling more than a little ridiculous, Justin sat in Clay's desk chair as Ryan was now attempting to do something with his hair. Clay had texted him earlier that afternoon.

 

 **Clay:** _Hey! Were you serious about doing something with Justin? Like, his hair or whatever?_

 **Ryan:** _Serious like a heart attack. It is in desperate need of help, as sad as it looks. Why?_ **  
**

**Clay:** _Well, why don't you come over and work on it or whatever before we head to the dance? Would that be all right?_

 **Ryan:** _I can certainly do that! Would you like me to style yours also?_

 **Clay:** _Ummm. No...I think my hair is fine. Thanks, though!_

 **Ryan:** _Oh, Clay. Honey._

 

"Hmmm. So, maybe not brush it back, it's too short for that. Let's style it over to the side instead....okay, there, that's better. Clay, hand me the hair dryer. Thanks. Okay, now brush it over, blow it dry, there we go....okay, now hand me the hairspray. Couple of quick spritzes...and there we go."

Justin looked up at Ryan and over at Clay. "That's it?"

"That's it. Once your hair is longer I can really style it. But for right now....well, I'm not a miracle worker. This does look rather good if I do say so myself. Take a look."

Getting up and out of the chair, Justin came over to the mirror and looked at his reflection. "Yeah...yeah, okay. This looks great, man. Thanks!"

"You're welcome. Now then. Clay? My offer still stands." Ryan turned and looked at Clay, who had just put on his sport coat.

"Um, I think I'm good like this. I appreciate it though. Maybe...next time?"

Sighing, Ryan put his hair care items back into a small bag. "Please let me know the next time you intend to get your hair cut so I can be there and prevent a tragedy, will you? For now, if that's all...I'm going to pick up the lovely Miss Courtney and head to the soiree. Gentlemen, I shall see you both there," he gave a little wave as he left Clay's room.

"Bye, Ryan...thanks again for coming!" Clay picked up the tie he had picked out for Justin to wear. "Okay, let's do this. You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"It's not difficult, I promise." He handed over the tie, and Justin lifted his collar and arranged it over his shirt as he turned back towards the mirror.

"Okay. So, make the side on the left a little longer than the one on the right. No, the one on the left. Your _other_ left. Right, like that. Now bring that around to the right. No, no, no, the big end. The big end!"

"That's what I'm doing," Justin whined.

"That's not what you're doing! Oh my God, start over..."

"Would you fucking relax?" Justin chuckled.

"You don't listen!"

"You are _so_ uptight."

"I am _not_ uptight. It was your idea that we should wear ties, it's not even a formal dance, and if you wanna wear a tie you should follow my instructions!"

 

* * *

 

_Sirens could be heard, getting closer. One of them had called the police even though he told them not to._

Dammit!! C'mon Tony, where the fuck are you??

_"Come on Tyler! Please?"_

_Now they heard screeching tires...  
_

Finally!

_"What the fuck?"_

_"That's Tony!"_

_But it wasn't Tony. The tires screeching were that of a Sheriff's vehicle, siren screaming, pulling into the lot and coming to a sudden stop in front of Clay and Tyler.  
_

_"Drop your weapon and get on the ground! Now!"_

_Clay saw headlights out of the corner of his eye as more police cars pulled up, deputies getting out with revolvers drawn. Tony. Two minutes too late. He could see more police cars pulling in, so he turned and kept driving as if he was leaving the school. Now city police had arrived. State police also._

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

_Tyler slowly lowered the rifle._

_Justin and Jessica, having heard the sirens, came running back out of the school and over to Clay, who was walking backwards, away from Tyler, having been instructed to by the deputy._

_More police cars pulled up. Tyler was now kneeling, staring Clay in the eyes with fury, putting his hands on top of his head._

_"Clay! Clay, are you okay?" Jessica asked as she came next to her friend._

_"Fuck. No."_

_"You three! Stay right where you are!" another deputy shouted. "Don't move!"_

_"This is fucked up, right?" Justin asked._

_Clay nodded. "Yeah."_

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't save him.

I couldn't fix it.

_"Now what do we do?"_

_"I don't know, Justin....I really don't know...."_

 

* * *

 

**Thursday Evening, June 21, 2018**

 

"That really was brave of you. You know that, right?"

Clay shook his head and was about to respond, when his (and now, Justin's) little cousin came over.

"Ju'tin! Let's get ice cream!" Chris said, excitedly.

"Okay, buddy," he replied with a big smile. "Let's go inside and get some! Hey...I'll be right back. It's okay, bro."

As Justin got up and took Chris' hand, Clay smiled as he watched them walk inside.

_I couldn't fix it...._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers, and welcome back!
> 
> So in order for this next part of 'Times Past' to work, and you'll certainly have noticed this, I had to include a good deal of dialogue from the Season Two ending episode, 'Bye.' But by interspersing a few things here and there, you have an idea of what else went on that Saturday. I hope this chapter also helped with Clay's mindset in the way I've portrayed him in 'Maze' and there's even a few hints about Justin's light switch being flipped, as it were. 
> 
> The next chapter will continue with the Aftermath, including Justin's confession.
> 
> As always, thank you for your comments, kudos and feedback! I'm really looking forward to hearing what you thought of this one. Don't forget to find me over at Tumblr and we can hang out and be groovy over there! Meanwhile, be on the lookout this week for a special Thanksgiving story! Who, or what, is Tank...and why does he like Justin so much? The answer to that question and more is on the way!
> 
> So stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return, very soon! Take care!


	6. Aftermath - Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the aftermath of Tyler's attempted school shooting continues to unfold...

  

**Thursday Evening, June 21, 2018**

 

As Justin took Chris' hand and took him inside to get ice cream (gelato, actually, but to a five year old, it's all ice cream after all), Clay sat back in his chair and stared out at the backyard, full of family and friends.

"Did you wander down the Clayhole?"

Looking up, he smiled at Zach, who had come over to grab another burger.

"Does everyone use that saying? I thought it was just a Tony-ism."

Zach grinned as he picked up a paper plate. "What's the use of a good saying if you can't steal it, right? But for real, what's up? This is supposed to be a par..." He stopped in mid-sentence and looked over at his friend with concern. "Wait. You're not....is your PTSD acting up? Are you all right? Do you want me to get your mom or dad? Where did Justin go...?"

Clay shook his head and laughed a little. "Zach, I'm fine. Really, I swear. It's just....well, Justin and I got to talking about the last couple months and all."

"Okay. And?"

"Tyler."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Zach turned back to the food and thought for a minute before continuing. "You know...we were all upset. But we got past it." He picked up the tongs and grabbed a burger from the aluminum tray and placed it between the opened buns. "Looking back, we were all kind of proud of you....and really glad that nothing happened to you. Or to Tyler."

"I ever tell you what happened later that night?"

Zach was now piling a rather large amount of toppings onto his burger. Well, he was a growing boy, after all. "I know a little bit."

"So, we were taken to the police station...."

 

 

* * *

 

**Saturday Night - Early Sunday Morning, April 21-22, 2018**

His hands were shaking.

That was unusual. They never shook before, not like this. If he was cold or had a fever, that was one thing - hands shake, teeth chatter, that was part and parcel of it all. But this was different. He wasn't cold and as far as he could tell he didn't have a temperature. Maybe it was the adrenaline rush, or coming down from it. His heart had been racing, after all, and it's not every day that a rifle is pointed at you or at one of your friends. Or, your newly minted foster brother. But, it was...weird. There wasn't any fear, not for himself anyway - instead he had been afraid for everyone else.

"Fuck," Clay said under his breath as he balled his left hand into a fist and grabbed it with the right, "stop it."

He had been taken, along with Justin and Jessica, to the police station for questioning, while Tyler had been arrested and taken away in handcuffs. The litany of charges that awaited him was probably going to be as long as his arm. But at least he was alive, they all were, so there was that, and in that respect Clay had been successful. Several officers and detectives had been in and out of the room already, and he went through the sequence of events each time. Maybe they were trying to see if he was leaving something out, or changing details. Did they think _he_ had been in on this? He had stopped it, for fucks sake. Were they going to charge him? And what about Justin? Would this mess up his probation in some way?

Fuck.

Bill Standall entered the room Clay had been placed in, sighed, and sat down at the table across from him. "Clay."

"Deputy Standall, I've explained it half a dozen times already! All I did was stop him, I didn't want anyone to get hurt! Please, you've got to believ..."

"Clay, be quiet and listen. All right?"

He nodded and brought his still shaking hands under the table.

"So, you're not going to be charged with anything. Neither will Justin, or Jessica. We're going to release all of you to your parents in just a couple of minutes. But, Clay," he leaned forward and locked eyes with Clay, "you have to understand how _dangerous_ that was! You shouldn't _ever_ confront someone with a loaded weapon like that! The three of you could have been killed, to say nothing of God knows how many other kids in that gym. Including my _son_. Frankly, Clay, that was a foolish and stupid thing you did. You're not a trained professional."

Clay looked down at the table, working his lower lip with his upper teeth.

"Look at me Clay."

Clay looked up slowly.

Bill exhaled and sat back in his seat, his features softening just a bit. "Thank you. For making sure nothing happened to Alex. But it still doesn't excuse how reckless you were tonight. Let's go."

He led Clay out of the room and down a twisting maze of hallways to the front of the station.

"Deputy Standall....what's going to happen to Tyler?"

"Don't worry about that right now. You just need to go home."

 

* * *

 

 

God, he needed a fix.

He had one that morning, before Clay woke up, and while he had been tempted to take one more before heading to the dance, he figured he would be all right until they got home. After all, he had reasoned to himself, it's just a fucking dance.

What would possibly go wrong?

Well.

Quite a lot, as it turns out.

First, there was Bryce. He had avoided him all night, and then there he was next to him, talking about how they had been kings of the school, how he'd always remember. Calling him brother.

Justin wanted to spit on the floor when he heard that, and about did before Clay came over and asked if he was all right.

"He's fine," Bryce answered for him. "I can't touch him. Or you. Or I go to jail."

And there it was, out in the open. _If_ Bryce wasn't on probation also, maybe, just maybe, he would have...done what? Reminded Justin that there was a point and time, and not all that long ago, that he essentially controlled so many aspects of his life? All the money he passed over, no questions asked? The things he needed? The "gifts?" Was he trying to goad some kind of reaction out of him? Make him grovel and apologize for biting the hand that had fed him, and quite literally? Or, anger him enough that he would lash out? Start a fight right there in the gym? Who knows.

He really needed that fix.

Then, he wandered off, on the pretense of using the bathroom, when he really went to go hide to gather his thoughts, in another part of the gym, sitting there among the wrestling mats. That's where Jessica found him, where he told her that Clay's family was going to adopt him.

Where he kissed her.

Where he had sex with her.

Why did he do that? She wasn't his girlfriend any more. She was with Alex. But, as much as the heroin, she was a drug to him. Addicting. And now, that was another mess he was going to have to clean up. Somehow.

As if that wasn't enough, to cap off the night, that insane kid Tyler Down came to the school, and with a small arsenal apparently.

He saw Clay jump in front of the rifle that had been pointed at him and Jessica. It's like Clay didn't even have to think twice about it, he just did it.

_"Go inside!!"_

Jesus.

He was going to take a bullet for him. For _them._ All of them.

Just because.

Justin sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall behind him.

That fix. Goddamn, he needed one. Right now.

Clay Fucking Jensen. The kid he tormented, threatened, suggested that he be killed, stole his stupid goddamn bike - he was going to take a bullet for him. And he was his...foster brother now? Going to be adopted brother, maybe. And that was about as close to the real thing one could get. And he'd always wanted a brother. Thought that was Bryce.

But would Bryce take a bullet for him?

Probably not.

"You all right kid?"

Snapped out of his thoughts, Justin jumped a little at hearing Matt Jensen's words and flinched as his foster father's hand was placed on his shoulder. Adults touching him typically did not end well. In point of fact, they usually involved a closed fist, or a hand around his throat, or an unwanted fondling of some kind between his legs. His mother, Amber, had a steady, never-ending stream of men that had come through one cramped apartment or the other, none of whom exactly qualified as father of the year material. Far from it. More often than not, they had some kind of access to drugs, or some kind of money (much of which was obtained by less than legal means, of that he was certain), and in Amber's own twisted way, those things equaled love. Her son? Well, of course he was important, but he tended to be...sort of in the way, and he cost money. Money that could go towards other things, like those drugs or some kind of cheap liquor. These men, "they _loved_ her and _wanted_ her." Or, so she thought, anyway. That's what she kept telling him. Unfortunately for Justin, these men had little use for a minor in the apartment, and many a frustration was taken out on him in one way or the other.

So, when this man, still very much a stranger, really, foster father or not, touched him, his natural instincts had kicked in, and he jerked away a little.

"Oh. Justin, I'm sorry. I should have asked, first, if I could..."

Justin shook his head. "No, it...it's okay, Mr. Jensen. And, yeah. I'm okay."

Matt sighed and nodded. "What a night, huh?"

"Yeah. Very fucked up."

Justin's eyes widened and he turned his head quickly to look at Matt. "Oh, I'm...I'm sorry, I know you and Mrs. Jensen said not to..."

"It's all right, Justin. I won't tell if you won't. It is. Fucked up."

A pregnant pause settled over the two of them. Lainie was doing her thing, ever the lawyer, ensuring that her son and foster son weren't going to be charged with any kind of crime, so there they sat, waiting.

"You know, I really should have asked if I could touch you, first," Matt finally said. "I know-"

"Mr. Jensen, really, it's fine-"

"-what's in your file."

Justin sunk down his seat a little, sort of hunching into himself. "Oh," he said quietly.

"We would never touch you in anger, Justin, or physically harm you in any kind of way. I want you to know and understand that. So, from now on, I'll ask you first, unless or until you're more comfortable with it. Is that all right?"

"Y-yeah. That's...all right, Mr. Jensen."

"And while we don't have to right away, I want you to know that when you're ready to be...open, about things. Your past. Your life. We're here ready to listen and to be there for you. No judging, no shaming."

"Okay. Thanks, Mr. Jensen."

"Matt."

"Huh?"

"You can call me Matt. It's fine, I don't mind."

Justin nodded. "I...is it okay if it's just Mr. Jensen? For awhile, anyway? I told...Mrs. Jensen this morning.."

"No, that's fine, kiddo. Whenever you're comfortable. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

That fix.

Now he _really_ needed it.

Or...

Did he? Really?

A wave of guilt washed over Justin as he let Matt's words run through his mind: no judging, no shaming. Maybe if he was getting this second chance, it would be all right to open up about things, about Amber and Seth and the drugs and what he did on the streets to survive. Maybe he didn't need the heroin after all, because these people, still strangers really, had opened their arms and their lives to him. For him. And Clay...who had done all kinds of nice things for him so far - just because - and who was ready to step in front of a bullet for him. Maybe he could be honest, and admit that he was still struggling with his addiction, that he had used while in juvie (it was too easy to have shit smuggled in, and if someone had in...he could trade favors...).

Maybe he could start over.

Before he could think about that any further, a tired and upset looking Lainie Jensen came over, accompanied by an equally haggard looking Clay.

"We're ready to go. I ascertained that they got all of the information they need from the boys tonight, but may call them back further if needed," she explained.

"Okay then." Matt stood up, Justin doing likewise.

"Dad-" Clay began, when his father interrupted him.

"Let's go home, Clay."

"Yeah, but, dad..."

"Clay. Not now. Let's go home."

As they walked out of the station to the car, Justin leaned over and spoke to Clay quietly. "Hey...you okay, man?"

Clay nodded in return.

"You sure?"

"I'm....no. I'm not sure, Justin."

Matt unlocked the Prius and Clay came up next to him. "Dad..." he tried again.

"Clay. Not now. We'll talk at home."

"But, dad..."

"Get in the car, Clay."

"Dad, please, just let me exp-"

"Get in the car, Clay. Now."

Justin watched as a shaken Clay listened to his father and got in the back seat of the car. He then did so on his side.

The drive home was the quietest and most uncomfortable ride he had ever taken in his life.

 

* * *

 

 

"What, exactly, were you thinking, Clay?"

Lainie asked Clay the question point blank as they and Justin sat at the kitchen table, while Matt brewed a pot of coffee. It had turned out to be a long night - they were probably going to need it, and what they didn't drink tonight could always be warmed up later in the morning.

"You could have been seriously hurt, or, God forbid, killed!"

"Yeah, so the cops told me. Multiple times," Clay muttered.

"Watch it, young man," Matt turned around and looked at his son.

"Dad....mom. Listen, please. Tyler. He was coming there to shoot people. Kill people. I had to do something!"

"No, honey. _You_ didn't. When there's an active shooter, or a potential one in this case, professionals have to handle that. Not a high school student. What if he had already shot and killed someone before he got there? You had no idea what he had already done or what his mindset was."

"But...but he didn't!"

"Clay," Matt said with an exasperated sigh as he sat at the table. "Did you ever stop to think about what might have happened if he did shoot you and got into the school? Then what would have happened?"

Clay's hands started to shake again. "I...I wasn't thinking about that, I..."

"I know you weren't thinking, and that's the goddamn problem!" Matt yelled, causing both Clay and Justin to flinch.

"Matthew," Lainie began.

"No, let me finish. This is real life, Clay, not one of your comic books! You're not bulletproof! So, tell me, what would have happened if Tyler did shoot you and got past you and went into the school? What if Justin was one of the ones who had been shot? Or Tony?"

A tear formed in Clay's eye and ran down his cheek. "But, dad..."

"Let's say the police didn't show up when they did? What was your plan?"

"I...I don't know...I...I was g-going to get him...get him out of there..."

"And then what, Clay? Bring him here and hide him?"

Hearing that, Justin - who had his eyes lowered - raised his head and blinked, giving Matt pause.

"Justin...I didn't mean it like that..."

"Then how did you mean it, dad?" Clay spoke up, coming to the defense of his foster brother.

"Clay..."

"No, dad. How did you mean it? Do you not want Justin here after all?"

"That's enough, young man. Of course I want Justin here. Justin," he turned to look at him, "that was a poor choice of words on my part, and I apologize."

"All right, before this gets too out of hand, I think we should all try to get some sleep and we can revisit this in the morning," Lainie said, pushing her chair back. "At least we'll have coffee ready. Both of you. Upstairs. Lights out in fifteen. Understood?"

Clay glared at his father, more angry at what he said just now than the situation in general.

"Sure, Mrs. Jensen. Night. C'mon, Clay, let's go."

Clay didn't move.

"Clay?" he tried again.

Matt looked at his son. "Go upstairs, Clay. Go to bed. Now."

Clay pushed back and got up, turned and walked out of the kitchen. "Good night," he called over his shoulder. Justin looked at the Jensens and quickly said good night as well before turning and walking quickly to follow.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey," Justin said as he closed the bedroom door behind him slowly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Fine." Clay roughly pulled his tie out of his shirt collar and dropped it, then shrugged off his sport coat, leaving it on the floor also.

Justin undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. "Um...you know, you can....like....talk about it. If you want. With me. I may not know what to say, but I promise I'll be a good listener."

Now Clay was taking off his own shirt. "He shouldn't have said that."

"Said what?"

"The bringing home and hiding thing. He shouldn't have said that."

Justin did a double take. "You mean to tell me that you're upset about that, and not what almost fucking happened tonight? Jensen...."

"Clay. Clay. For the last goddamn time, it's Clay!"

Justin raised his hands in defense. "Okay, okay....take it easy. Look...your dad...he didn't mean it like that, I get it. He's just worried about you is all. Your mom, too."

Pulling a t-shirt on, Clay went to undo his pants. "Turn around."

"What?"

"I'm going to change pants. Turn around."

"Clay, we're both guys, you haven't got..."

"Just fucking turn around!"

"Okay!" he turned his back and put on his own shirt before dropping his own dress pants and folding them carefully. "But, really man. They're....like, parents. They're gonna be all upset for a few days. It'll blow over after tomorrow, probably."

"Great. A whole fucking day of lecturing about how irresponsible I was tonight. You can turn back now."

Turning around, Justin grabbed his own sleeping pants and put them on. "Look...."

"Justin," Clay interrupted as he pulled back his comforter. "I don't want to do this tonight. Okay? Just....drop it. I'll get an earful tomorrow and you can chime in then."

"All I was going to say was....thanks."

Clay turned. "For what?"

"Saving us."

Sighing, Clay climbed into bed as Justin settled himself on the couch. "You need the comforter?"

_What I really need is a fix....maybe...._

"No...no, I'm good man."

Clay reached over and turned out the light. "I couldn't fix it, Justin," he said softly.

"Yeah you did. I just said, you saved us."

"Yeah. And he was arrested anyway."

"Get some sleep, Clay."

They lay there in the dark, Justin on his back, staring at the ceiling. Across from him, Clay curled onto his side and buried his face into the pillow.

And started to cry.

"Clay?"

"I'm fine," he sobbed.

Sighing, Justin threw the blanket off of him and walked to the other side of the room and knelt next to the bed. "Hey...it's okay, Clay," he said, putting his hand carefully on Clay's side. "It'll be okay."

Sniffling, Clay tried to regain some composure. "This...this is gonna sound stupid as fuck...but could I ask you a big favor?"

"Sure, anything. What?"

"Would you...sit here until I fall asleep?"

"Yeah....yeah, I can do that." He got up and sat on the bed next to Clay, cocooned in the blankets. As he stared into the darkness and listened to his roommate and foster brother sob again quietly, he could see that broken little boy staring back at him. The person he was, a past he was trying to escape from.

The little boy seemed to nod and say, 'It's all right.'

Was it?

Maybe.

One way to find out.

He would tell them. And get help.

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back!
> 
> Quite an intense chapter here, wouldn't you say? You may have even picked up on the fact that I dropped some little clues in here regarding Clay's eventual PTSD diagnosis, with the shaking hands and how Clay didn't understand why they were doing that. I've also dropped a few hints about Justin's past and his experience in juvenile detention, which I'll be able to explore both here and in future stories. 
> 
> Actually, that will begin in our next installment, as the Aftermath continues, and we get to Justin opening up about his addiction and continued drug use. Yeah...that'll be intense as well. Fair warning.
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed reading this one, and as always I look forward to your comments and feedback. Many thanks also for the kudos! Don't forget I'm over at Tumblr if you'd like to chat over that way as well!
> 
> Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return, coming soon! Thanks for reading, and take care!


	7. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the aftermath of Tyler's attempted school shooting continues to unfold, and Justin makes some confessions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning for Justin revealing some non-consensual sexual activity while in juvenile detention.

**Sunday, April 22, 2018**

Clay shakily walked down the stairs, nearly six in in the morning.

Sleep had finally come to him, having cried himself into slumber some...two? three?....hours earlier, Justin sitting next to him on the bed, acting as a watchman in a sense, at Clay's own request. Well. That was silly, almost childish, of him to do, he would think to himself later that morning. Here he was, needing someone to sit by him until he could fall asleep as if he was seven and not seventeen. Regardless, Justin had done it without hesitation. There was no laughing at him, no "Geez, Jensen, what are you? A baby?" No, Clay had asked, and Justin... _did it_. Didn't even think twice about it, either.

Well, if he could do that, and not think it odd, maybe...just possibly, maybe...it would be all right to sit him down and really open up to him about a lonely childhood, how he asked and begged for a sibling when he was younger only to be told, eventually when he was old enough to begin to comprehend these things, that his mother was unable to have any more children. About how he always wanted a brother, to talk to and share secrets with, and who would, as he had put it the day before, get it. Maybe, after all, in spite of his misgivings, Justin would be able to have an open conversation about this. But that would have to come later, as there were other issues that needed some kind of a resolution first.

In any event, he had fallen asleep, but it was restless. The image of Tyler raising the gun and aiming it at him, Justin and Jessica had been imprinted on his brain now, and it kept coming back no matter how many times he tried. Twice he had woken up startled and panting, almost a feeling of tightness closing around him, and after that second time he gave up and decided to go downstairs, slipping out of the room quietly after jealously looking over at Justin, who appeared to be sound asleep.

The light in the kitchen indicated that he wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping this early Sunday morning, and as he slowly walked in he saw his father sitting at the kitchen table, a package of Oreos and a gallon of milk in front of him.

"Oh. Hey." Clay said, a little surprised to see someone else awake.

"Hi. Couldn't sleep either, huh?" Matt asked him.

"No." Clay shook his head.

"Get a glass and join me."

"Yeah. Okay."

After retrieving one from the cabinet, Clay sat down and poured milk into it, as Matt pushed over the package of cookies. Pulling one out, Clay studied it for a second before carefully separating the two halves, then scraped the filling into his mouth using his upper teeth. Working the sweetness against his palette, he lined up the halves again and dunked it into the milk, then took a bite. As he chewed, he looked up and saw that Matt was smiling at him.

"You've eaten these this way since you were a little boy," he said.

Clay swallowed and dunked again, looking down at his actions rather than meeting his father's gaze for too long. "Best way to do it." His voice lacked emotion - it was flat, almost monotone. Partly from the lack of sleep, partly because of what had happened, and partly from the tentativeness in dealing with his father so soon after being yelled at, and what Matt had said about "hiding someone" in the house.

"Son. Listen...."

"Dad, can we not right now?"

"No, just listen to me, please. Look. I know you think I overreacted, I get it. But I want you to put yourself in my shoes for just a moment, okay? Can you do that?"

Clay sighed and nodded, but didn't look up, swirling another cookie in his milk again.

"You're my son, Clay, and you could've been killed tonight. The thought of that....that's the scariest thing for any father, any parent - to have to bury one of their children. And I've tried to put myself in the mindset of the Bakers, to try and understand what they went through, or what Bill and Carolyn Standall came very close to having to do. And I can't do it, Clay. I'll never understand their pain."

The cookie broke off into the milk, and Clay watched it float for a second before it sunk.

"If something ever happened to you, it would destroy me and your mother. Every time you were out late this past year, and we didn't know where you were? The morning you didn't come home until five? We were beside ourselves. A parent sort of defaults to thinking the worst, it's second nature. And we want to trust you, Clay, we do. You promised us no more secrets, remember? We're trying, kiddo, we really are. But you've got to meet us halfway sometimes. And this tonight. Clay, you're such an amazing young man, and I know you want to do the right thing. But you have to realize that there could be serious, devastating consequences to your actions, consequences that would impact more than just yourself."

Clay nodded and took a drink before putting the glass back down. His lower lip started to tremble.

"What if you had been shot? Let's say you were, for the sake of argument, all right? And let's imagine that you weren't killed, but instead you....were in a coma, lingering. Not dead, and not truly alive. Now imagine how that would affect your mom and myself, and everyone else in your life, your friends. Wouldn't that crush us? Them?"

Nodding again, Clay blinked and inhaled as the tears that had formed began to spill out and down his face.

"So, can you understand a little better now why I was so angry with you earlier?"

"Y-yeah," Clay replied in a whisper.

Matt sat back in his chair and sighed before continuing. "Yes, I'm upset, and I'm angry with you. But. I also should have told you that I love you and that I'm relieved you're safe. So. I'm very sorry I didn't say that to you earlier, because I  _do_ love you and nothing will ever change that. And you have no idea how relieved I am that you didn't get hurt. So I hope you can understand and appreciate _why_ I'm upset and angry."

Clay sniffed and reached up to wipe his eyes and cheeks. "I...I just wanted to...Tyler's in such a bad way, a bad place. he seemed to be getting better. But, I...I think something must have happened that made him want to do this. And I didn't want him to hurt anyone, or see him get hurt. I just reacted. I....our friends, we...we..."

"You what?"

"We...promised each other. Friday night. We would look out for each other and try to look out for others. Hannah," he looked up at Matt. "....if we had just....Hannah would want us to do that, Dad. She wouldn't want anyone else to be in pain, or...we shouldn't turn away from that. That's all I was trying to do."

Matt nodded as Clay wiped his eyes again and took another drink of milk. "I can understand that. I can. I do. And I think that's an honorable way to conduct yourself. But there's a smart way to go about that, wouldn't you agree?"

Clay took another cookie and worked it in his fingers like a coin or a poker chip. "I'm sorry I scared you and Mom. I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't. Clay, I want you to promise me that if something like this were to, God forbid, ever happen again, that you and your friends won't take matters into your own hands. I think looking out for others is fine, it's admirable, but if it results in harm to yourselves or to others, wouldn't that defeat the purpose? So, promise me. Please?"

Clay nodded. "Okay," he said quietly, catching his breath from crying. "I won't say I'd go back and do it all differently, though. I did what I felt I had to do, even if I couldn't fix it."

"I figured as much," Matt sighed. "But that's done. Going forward, though. All right? And Clay, listen. Please don't feel as if these things are your responsibility. I understand your wanting to watch out for other people, but you have to know your limitations. All right?"

Clay nodded again before separating the cookie and repeating his earlier actions, and cleared his throat before speaking again, changing the subject. "What you said to Justin. That wasn't right. That really pissed me off. I don't....I don't want him to feel like he doesn't belong here with us. He's already feeling like it's all too much as it is, and what you said....Dad, that was fucked up."

"I know," Matt exhaled. "Forgive a father his weaknesses. I was upset, I still am, and I wasn't thinking straight at that moment. You know I want Justin to be a part of our family, I do. But I was concerned about you and what had happened. I'll talk to him later today and apologize to him again. And....I apologize to you, also. I shouldn't have used that choice of words. You've really stepped up and welcomed him and tried to make him feel at home, and I'm proud of you for that. So, I'm sorry."

"Thanks, Dad. And...I'm sorry, again, for upsetting you and Mom."

Closing up the milk, Matt stood and took the jug to the refrigerator to put it away. "Apology accepted."

"Does...this mean I'm not going to be punished?"

"Nice try, kiddo. We'll talk about that later today, also. Come on, let's try and get some more sleep. I'll clean the rest up later."

Clay gulped down the rest of his milk and got up, and as he was about to leave the kitchen, Matt placed a hand on his shoulder. Turning back around, he was brought into a hug. "I love you son. Never forget that."

Patting his father's back, Clay nodded. "I know. I love you, too."

As Matt was about to turn out the kitchen lights, he and Clay were startled as Justin stumbled in, holding his stomach.

"Justin? What's wrong?"

 

* * *

 

Clay may have thought that Justin was asleep on the couch, but in truth he was not, and sleep came to him in fits and starts as well - but for different reasons altogether. It was approaching a full twenty-four hours since he had last used heroin, and the withdrawal symptoms were now hitting him. Hard.

He tossed and turned, sweating profusely, stomach cramping.

He heard and could see out of the corner of his eye Clay get up and walk out of the bedroom, and almost called out to him for help. Almost. A wave of cramps prevented him from doing so, and he rolled over and curled up into himself.

"Fuck fuck fuck.....goddammit...."

He had forgotten how Clay's attempt to detox him and get him clean several weeks ago flat out _sucked,_ no two ways about it. At the time, he swore he'd never let himself go through that ever again. But then there was his testimony at the trial, and then juvenile detention, and it was in juvie that he had gotten hooked again. But after the last couple of days, being exposed to the Jensen family and their unconditional love, and then watching Clay put himself in front of a gun, he had resolved to get clean. For good. And that meant telling them, and asking for help, and not using anymore.

But God almighty, did this _suck_.

Groaning, he gingerly got off the couch and hesitantly walked to the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, he winced. He was pale, hair matted against his sweaty forehead. In short, he was a mess. A wave of nausea swept over him as he groaned again and braced himself against the marble counter.

"Fuck, ow!" He curled over and his hands balled into fists, before looking back up at himself in the mirror.

"Okay, Foley....it's either we do this ourselves....ask for _shit!_...a-ask for help....or, go back to using."

The little boy looked back at him, sadly.

"Yeah. We ask for help."

After splashing cold water on his face, he walked back out and was going to go back to bed, when he heard voices coming from downstairs.

 

* * *

 

 

"Justin? What's wrong?"

Matt and Clay looked on worriedly as Justin groaned again and clutched his stomach.

"Is your stomach upset?" Matt asked. "What did you eat?"

"It's...not...that... _urgh_...I..." he looked up at Clay. "I'm sorry..."

"Sorry? Dude, you can't help it if you're sick, you sure you didn't eat something weird at the dance?"

Justin shook his head quickly. "N-no....not that." He hunched over as another cramp hit him, then slowly back up, looking Clay in the eyes. "It's not that, Clay."

Clay's eyes widened. "Oh. Oh, no. You're....you're not.....are you? Did you?"

Justin nodded quickly as he swayed and reached out with one hand to brace himself against the wall.

"Dad, get Mom."

"What? Why? What's going..."

"Dad, please! Justin is having withdrawal symptoms. Just go and get Mom!"

Matt looked at the teenagers and left the kitchen, quickly, as Clay shook his head and came over to help sit Justin down. "You fucking _idiot,_ " he said through clenched teeth. "You fucking, fucking _IDIOT_. I don't believe this."

"I'm sorry....Clay, really....I..."

"Shut up. Just, shut up, Justin. Don't talk. Do _not_ talk to me right now."

 

* * *

 

 

It was now approaching 7:30 in the morning. Lainie and Matt had essentially forced Sprite, Tylenol, and Pepto Bismol, followed up by two bottles of water down Justin's throat. He was calmer, and the symptoms had abated for the time being, although he had a slight temperature. Having nibbled at a piece of toast, he placed it back down on a plate with a shaking hand and looked up at three faces staring back: two full of concern and worry, the third barely able to conceal what Justin could only surmise to be unimaginable fury; the fact that his room had been subjected to a rather thorough search did not help matters. Matt had disposed of Justin's illicit drugs and paraphernalia.  

"I'm...I'm really sorry. I started using again in juvie...to make it, I guess? Survive. To try and....I don't know, really. I didn't want to, I really didn't. I promise I didn't! But I guess...I wasn't strong enough. I...if you want me to go back, or want me to just leave? I-I understand."

Matt sighed and removed his glasses, wiping his hand down and over his face. "Justin. You're not going anywhere. Well, let me rephrase that. You're going to get help today. But you're not leaving this house, not leaving us."

Justin raised his head slowly. "I-I'm not?"

"Honey," Lainie reached over and put her hand over his trembling one, "we knew that this would be a possibility. Addiction to opioids is difficult, it's a long term sickness. It just doesn't go away overnight. We were prepared, mostly. We just didn't think we'd have to face this so soon. So, we'll go to a clinic today and get you some treatment and back into meetings. But....listen to me, Justin. We're in this for the long haul. Understand? You're part of us, and we're part of you."

"You....still want me? Here?"

"Of course we do, kid," Matt nodded. "We're upset, yes. Disappointed, yes. But it doesn't change the fact that we want you in our lives. That's not going to change, we promise."

Clay pushed his chair back from the table and quickly walked out the door to the backyard, slamming it behind him.

"I'm...I'm so sorry, I tried not to...I did! I _tried_ _!_ But it....you all, all this...I don't...I don't deserve this. I couldn't..."

"Justin, of course you do. You do deserve a loving home and a family, everyone does. You just need a support system and structure to help you beat this, and that's what we're going to do, starting today. Why don't you get cleaned up some and we'll get going, all right?"

"Can - is it all right if I go talk to Clay, first? I...I need to. Please?"

Lainie nodded. "Not too long, we need to get moving."

Justin nodded back in reply, got up and slowly walked outside.

 

* * *

 

 

Clay stood in the yard, arms crossed, his back to the house.

"Hey. Hey, Clay?"

No reply.

"Can...can we talk?"

"Why?"

"Because...because I want to explain myself, and..."

Clay shook his head. "No." He slowly turned around, and Justin saw that his eyes were red and puffy. " _Why?_ Why did you this? Again?"

"Clay....that's what I want to...."

"Was...is this not good enough for you? Did I not do enough? I brought you back here. I brought you back into my home, Justin. They left it up to me, remember? And at first, I didn't want to. I didn't. But I thought about it for a long time, you know? We talked about it for a week after we knew you would be released, and they left it up to me. And at first all I could think about was how... _stupid_ of an idea it was, because of how you had treated me, because of who you were. But then...then I thought about what it was like when you were here, when I came and got you the second time, and how we started to get along." Clay wiped his eyes before continuing. "We were really getting along, you know? And a lot of that shit sucked, but there were a couple nights where we...we were like a family. You and me. And I thought, okay....maybe this _could_ work, maybe we _can_ do this. Maybe we could be friends. More than that! You're going to be a part of my life!"

Now he walked slowly over to Justin, who looked broken and defeated. Ashamed.

"And I thought, this just might be really cool, because....I could finally get what I've always wanted. You kept asking why I've been nice to you, all the things I did on Friday. You want to know why? Really? Okay, fine. Here it is. It's not just that I _like_ the idea of having a brother. I've _always_ wanted a brother, Justin. _Always._ Of all the things I could ever have, I wanted that above everything else."

Clay was crying again, and now Justin was as well.

"And for a long time now, I resigned myself to the fact that it was just never going to happen, that, okay, I'm almost eighteen, that ship has sailed. Then, my parents tell me they want to try and adopt you, and it was my decision. Think about that....I got to pick out my own brother! And for some fucking reason, I picked you. Do you have any idea what all this has meant to me? How important this is to me? I get it, I'm the geek you all loved to pick on and give shit to, and I pissed you all off with Hannah and the damn tapes." His voice was raising now, anger and disappointment showing through. "Fine! But I thought maybe, just maybe, you and me could make this work, because we were getting along! That I would get my brother after all!  _That's_ why I was being nice to you the other night, and treating you to things! Why I arranged for everyone to help you with school! I _wanted_ to do that, because I figured, this is what _brothers_ do! I wanted to show you that I was happy you were here, you shithead! So yeah, it was gonna be awkward as fuck, so what? We would make it work, you and me. Together. The Jensen Brothers. I didn't show it at Monet's because of the day, Hannah's funeral. But do you know how excited I've actually been about this? Because I was finally going to get the one thing I've always wanted, Justin. I was going to get my brother."

Justin looked down, unable to meet Clay's gaze.

"This...this is how you repay me? Really? _Why_?"

"It...Clay, please. This isn't easy, okay?"

"How did you even get drugs again, Justin? You were in juvenile detention! Don't they do searches in there or something?"

"Clay...come on, do you honestly think that this shit is kept out of there, like, all the time or whatever? Stuff can get in."

"How could you even afford it? How did you get it?"

"You....you really don't want to know that. It's complicated."

"Try me, I'm actually pretty fucking smart!"

"No," Justin shook his head and, shaking all over again, sat down on one of the patio table benches. "You...don't want to hear how. Please."

"Justin, I just told you something I've never told anyone other than my parents, about wanting a brother. I've  _never_ been that open with someone before, not even with Tony or with Hannah! So why can't you just be honest with me!"

"Fine!" Justin's head snapped up. "You want to hear all about how I had to suck dick in there? Because, Clay, that's what I did! I _had_ to do that! I didn't want to, believe me! But think about it, I was associated with a fucking rapist! And I didn't rape anyone, I know that! Bryce did! But I let it fucking happen because I was a coward! Word spreads pretty quick, you know? Then I got in there, and they knew all about me already. And to them, I was a 'pretty boy' as well as a coward, and I had to do what I had to do to survive. Is that what you want to hear?"

"I...no, Justin...you didn't. Please. Tell me you didn't, really."

"Why, Clay? What's wrong, I thought you wanted me to be honest? Okay, so here it is, me being honest! How about that there were gang bangers in there, guys who did way worse shit than me? You ever once stop and think about why I looked like such total shit every time you came with your mom to see me? How I got to be so skinny? It wasn't because of the fucking lights being left on, Clay, or because the food was garbage! It's because of what I had to do, and what I had to get my hands on to make it and try and forget what I had to do while I was in there, and _I fucking hated every minute of it!_ "

Mouth open, jaw working, Clay ran his tongue over his suddenly dry lips. "You...you did that? To get the drugs?" he asked quietly.

"And to make sure I didn't get the shit beaten out of me. From day one, Clay....day one....I knew I was going to be a target. The way some of them looked at me? I-I knew. I did what I had to do to survive in there. I figured it out pretty fucking quick. So, yeah....your foster brother, roommate, whatever the fuck, sucked cock like a little bitch. Happy now? You feel better knowing that, Jensen?"

Clay sat down next to Justin, who had put his head in his hands and leaned forward. "I...shit. I had no idea. I'm...sorry, man. Really." He reached over, hesitated and thought for a second, then put his hand on Justin's back. It was an awkward and clumsy gesture, he didn't rub up and down simply kept it there. But at the moment it was the best he could think of to do.

"I didn't want to. I...I didn't. But I didn't have a choice. It didn't happen every day, but it happened a lot. And then...then, you said you all wanted to adopt me. And you started to do all this really nice stuff for me, just because, and no one ever did anything like that for me before....and I didn't think I was worth it and I didn't know how to handle it. I still don't. Then last night....you would've taken a bullet for me. Clay. I'm sorry. I really am. But I want to be clean. I do. This....living here with you, being adopted? I feel like it's my last chance. Not a second one...but my last one. I'm sorry I let you down, I'll....I'll make it up to you. I promise I will. Somehow."

Sighing, Clay sat back some and looked up at a bright blue sky. "I guess I'll never really get it. About the drugs. And I'm sorry you had to do all of that in there, I really am, Justin. That...I had no idea, and I hate that it happened to you. I do. But it doesn't change the fact that you brought that shit into my home for a second time, and it doesn't change the fact that I am so pissed off at you right now I can barely see straight. This really hurts, Justin. Not gonna lie, I really want you to get help, I do. But..right now? I don't know if I can trust you again or not."

"I'm such a fuck up. I-I want you to trust me. I'll...do whatever I have to do so you trust me again. I will. And I want to get help. I do! I don't think I can do this by myself. I know I can't."

"What a fucking weekend this has turned out to be. Fine. I'll help you, you shithead. But don't expect me to forgive you right away."

"But...will you? Like, eventually? Please?"

"Probably, yes. But I'll be honest with you, man, it's going to take a little while."

"Okay. No, I get it. I can't...I can't say it enough, Clay. I'm really, really sorry....and...I want to be a part of your family. I want us to be friends, I really do! You....you're a good guy, I know that now! I didn't before, and I was such an asshole to you, and I shouldn't have been. It's like I told you before, that day of the trial....I don't want you to hate me again. But I really do want to be here, with you....and I want to make this work between us, okay? I swear to fucking God I do! I think we could be really good friends. And I really do want to be...your....you know."

Justin still couldn't bring himself to say it. _The_ word. Maybe it was because he still did not think of himself as worthy of it, maybe because he felt he did not deserve the honor. Not yet. Either way, he couldn't say it. But, Clay understood and nodded. "Yeah. I know."

"That was a really fucking brave thing you did last night. I don't care what anyone else says, it was."

Clay shook his head. "Dad guilt tripped the fuck out of me this morning because of it. But, he was right. And Mom could barely look me in the eye, so I know she's still upset. I can only imagine what the gang thinks. Tomorrow is not going to be pleasant. At all."

"It...it'll be all right. I'll be there! Maybe? If stuff today goes well, with medication or whatever. I'll....I'll back you up and be there, right with you. I promise I will."

"Is there anything else you need to tell me, or want to tell me? Let's try and get all this out now."

Justin thought for a moment and looked back down at the patio.

"Oh God, what? Just tell me, huh?"

"I....okay, so don't yell at me again. But...I did something last night that I think might cause some problems."

"Jesus. What?"

"I...may have had sex with Jessica."

Clay slowly turned his head, blinked, and looked at Justin, who was still looking down. "You...may have."

"Uh huh."

" _May_ have?"

"Yeah...."

"I don't understand. Did you trip or something, and...?"

"No, dumbass...."

"I swear to God, if you call me that one more time..."

"Well you keep calling me shithead!"

"It fits!"

"So does dumbass! Did I trip? Seriously?"

"Well who says that they 'may' have had sex with someone! Did you or didn't you?"

"Yeah....yeah, I did."

"Jesus, Justin! She's going out with Alex!"

"I know she is! It just...happened! I don't know what I was thinking."

"You _weren't_ thinking! Well, you sort of were, but with the wrong part of your anatomy! What the hell is wrong with you?! God! How are we going to...."

" _Aargh!_ " Another cramp hit, and Justin grabbed at his stomach again.

"Fuck. You okay?"

Justin shook his head quickly. "No...it hurts. I think I'm gonna be sick..."

"All right, let's get you inside. We can talk about this later."

 

* * *

 

 

**Thursday Evening, June 21, 2018**

 

"Man. I never knew any of that. But Justin got cleaned up and off that shit, so that's something." Zach had sat down next to Clay, taking Justin's seat, and had listened as his friend recounted the events that had followed the Spring Fling.

"True. Admittedly, I yelled at him again later that night after Mom and Dad brought him home from the clinic, and looking back on it I shouldn't have done that. I was just so angry at him, you know? I made him feel a little better when I told him I'd take him to McDonald's for breakfast the next morning on the way to school."

"Your wallet must have hurt after that!" Zach laughed.

"Oh, it did! The medicine kicked in quickly, so he pretty much wanted like, two of everything. I don't think I've ever seen someone eat that much in my life. It was kind of disgusting, now that I think about it."

"Dempsey, you're in my seat, man. I got dibs." Justin had come back, a bowl of gelato in hand. Chris happily sat at the table next to his parents and Tony, proudly showing off that his new cousin had gotten him ice cream - gealto - and he had _helped_ and everything.

"Just keeping it warm, Little Jensen. I'm getting another burger...Clay, you want one?"

"Jesus, talk about eating a lot!" Clay laughed. "I'm good for now, thanks."

"What's up, what did I miss?" After getting his chair back,  Justin dug into his gelato, but far more slowly than he had that night with Clay at the Plaza.

"I filled Zach in on what happened the morning after. Our argument out here. Well. More like me yelling at you, so I guess a one-sided argument?"

Justin froze, spoon halfway to his mouth. "You...you didn't tell him. Did you?" he asked quietly. "You didn't tell him about....what I did. What I had to do."

"God, no! Justin, I promised you...I would never tell anyone, and I haven't. I wouldn't betray your trust, you know that. Bro Code, dude."

"Okay. Yeah, no I trust you, I just...I'm ashamed of it, you know?"

Clay nodded in reply as Justin ate. "I get it. And hey, maybe one day, when you're ready, you can talk to someone about it. I know it bothers you. But unless and until that day comes, it stays with me. Promise."

"Thanks, little bro."

"You got it, big bro. Man. That whole weekend was a..." Clay looked around to make sure Chris or the parents wouldn't hear him, "that weekend was such a clusterfuck," he said in a low voice.

"Tell me about it."

"And the next day....Jesus, that was....

"Also a clusterfuck?" Justin finished.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's one way of putting it. I didn't think they would ever stop being mad at me....."

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, Mazers! Hey, look! A new chapter that has nothing to do with the holidays! I hope you enjoyed our continued journey into the past!
> 
> Now that the Holiday Trilogy is over (you've read all that? yes? good. carry on...), we can get back to some unfinished business and stories in progress! First up, continuing 'Times Past,' and the aftermath of Tyler's attempted shooting at the Spring Fling. There were some loose ends that still needed to be tied up for that weekend, and I hope this latest has gone some way in accomplishing that. I still intend to explore the Matt-Lainie-Justin dynamic in this context as well, so that will be coming up in a future installment. For now though, I wanted to keep it focused on Justin confessing to drug use, and opening up to Clay about what had happened to him, what he had to do in juvie. This will be a part of his eventual meetings with our friend Stanley Keyworth, later on down the road.
> 
> Up next, though, will be the Monday after - the reactions from the gang, more with Justin and his struggles, and Clay and Alex in the bleachers.
> 
> But first....we switch gears again, because I've got another story in progress as well! Justin and Jessica will continue to rebuild and repair their relationship over at 'This Time,' and a new chapter should appear there in a few days!
> 
> As always, thank you for your feedback and comments and suggestions! Don't forget that I'm over at Tumblr if you'd like to chat there, or even make a request! And hey, make one here as well in the comments below! You never know, it just might appear in this story!
> 
> So stay tuned, because Clay and Justin will return, very soon! Thank you for reading and take care!


	8. When You Come Back Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay learns a little bit about being a sibling, and has a heart to heart with Justin...

_When you're soarin' through the air_  
_I'll be your solid ground_  
_Take every chance you dare_  
_I'll still be there_  
_When you come back down_

\- from "When You Come Back Down," by Nickel Creek

 

  

  

When Clay came back into the house from taking out the trash that early Sunday afternoon, he found that his parents and Justin had returned from the outpatient clinic.

"Oh, hey. Everything go all right?" he asked Lainie in the kitchen.

"It went fine. Justin was started on methadone and given IV fluids among other things, and will start back up at meetings this week. He'll be uncomfortable for a few days, but it should pass."

"Okay. Yeah, that's good. Can he still go to school? He's got a lot to make up and all." Clay pulled out a chair and sat at the table.

"The doctor seems to think so," Lainie replied as she sat across from her son. "He'll go tomorrow and we'll see how he handles it and take it from there."

"Okay. Good."

"How're the chores coming?"

Clay rolled his eyes and groaned. Part of his punishment was picking up quite a bit of manual labor, inside the house and out. "Fine. I started to tidy up the garage, all the trash is taken out. I was going to take a break if that's all right. I'm kind of tired."

"Understandable. Your father went upstairs to take a nap, and I'm going to also. But before I do, we need to talk about a couple of things."

Clay closed his eyes and sighed, frowning a little. "Yeah....I sorta figured we would," he said, opening his eyes back up. "Look, mom. I spoke with Dad earlier this morning....and I really do understand why you're both upset. I do. But I'll tell you the same thing I told him. If I had to go back and do it all over again.....I would. So, yes. I'll apologize for upsetting you and for scaring you, same as Dad. But I can't apologize for what I did."

"Your father told me as much," she sighed. "And like him, I think it's commendable that you and your friends want to try and help others, I do. But, honey, we want you to be safe, and we don't want anything to happen to you. Please promise us you'll use good judgement from now on. All right? I'm so glad that nothing happened to you, or your friends or to Justin. But, please...never again. All right? I think your father spoke for both of us. We love you, and we want you to be far more careful from now on. I won't even go into any kind of potential legal ramifications. Now, speaking of Justin, that's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. It was pretty obvious you were really upset earlier."

"Yeah," Clay responded quietly and nodded. "It just....it made me so mad, you know? I still am, if I'm being honest."

"Honey, that's a natural reaction, and I'm not telling you _not_ to be mad at him for what he brought into the house, we are, too. But, try to temper that some, okay? He has an illness, sweetheart. Addiction _is_ an illness just like any other, and it's one that he's going to have to manage for the rest of his life. Please try to be more patient with him."

"I'm trying, I am. It...it just-"

"What, sweetie?"

He looked down at his hands on the table. "It... _hurt_. What he did, bringing that here again. And I don't know _why_ it hurts like this, it shouldn't. But it does."

"I think I know why."

"You do?" Clay looked back up at his mother.

"You know, whenever your Aunt Jenny and I had a fight growing up, or if one of us did or said something, especially when we were angry and if it was unintentional, it hurt sometimes. In fact, it could hurt quite a bit. I'm sure your father would say the same thing about himself and Uncle Luke. Having a sibling? There's so many wonderful things that are a part of it, and if the adoption goes through you're going to find out exactly just how wonderful for yourself. Hopefully you'll find out and understand it much sooner that that. But, honey...you have to remember that siblings can also have disagreements, or do things that can hurt the feelings of each other. They don't mean to do it, but it does happen."

"Like not handling someone's addiction the right way."

Lainie nodded. "That's a great example, yes."

"But...like, it's okay to be mad that he brought heroin here?"

"It is, yes. Just try to be more understanding of what he's struggling with. I brought home a lot of literature from the clinic so we can all understand it better, as a family. We'll look over it and talk about it later this evening. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"Clay, sweetheart, learning how to be a good brother won't come overnight. Like anything else, it's going to take some time, but you'll get it. So will Justin. If you want this to work, and I think you do - no, I _know_ you do, then you have to remember something very important: loving a brother means you love him no matter what, faults and all. Whether those faults are intentional or not. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," Clay nodded. "That makes a lot of sense, actually. I guess I just...I dunno. I wanted this to be, like...perfect or something."

"Well, family isn't perfect, you should know that by now," Lainie smiled. "But, at the end of the day, family comes back together after the rough times. Wouldn't you agree?"

The right side of Clay's mouth went up in his somewhat trademarked half smile. "Agreed, counselor. And, hey, Mom? I really am sorry I scared you guys. I just wanted to do the right thing. You know?"

Lainie got up and kissed the top of her son's head. "That's what makes you, you, and one of the reasons why you're such an amazing young man. I'll see you in a couple of hours, okay?"

 

* * *

 

 

After washing his hands, Clay poked his head into the living room, where he could see a tired and uncomfortable, to say nothing of sad, looking Justin sitting at one end of the couch, watching an episode of "Chopped."

"Hey. Mind if I join you?"

Justin didn't look away from the television. "Are you just gonna yell at me again? 'Cause if you are..."

"No. No, Justin, I'm...I'm not going to yell at you. Promise. Please, can I join you?"

Justin nodded sadly and Clay sat at the other end of the couch.

"You like cooking shows?"

Shrugging, Justin winced a little, owing to the soreness and aches in his muscles from the withdrawal. "I mean, they're kinda cool. These people are trying to make something out of a big fish, grape jelly, a bunch of green leafy stuff and some kind of hot sauce."

"That....sounds disgusting."

"Yeah. One of the lady chefs is kinda hot though, so there's that."

"Uh huh. You know, if you like, want to learn, I can show you some more things to make. Dad would probably love it if you decided to help him in the kitchen, I think."

"Yeah, okay. Sure," he shrugged again.

"Um....how're you feeling?"

Picking up the remote, Justin muted the volume and then shifted a little so he could look at and face Clay. "Tired. Like, really tired. Sore all over."

"I bet, yeah. I'm tired, too."

"It's been like....one long day, hasn't it? Since yesterday morning."

"Pretty much."

Looking down, Justin began to pick at one of the throw pillows, and watching this made Clay feel worse than he already was.

_Shit._

"So....Justin. Listen. I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier. Outside. Like...I'm still upset, not gonna lie, but not as much as I was, you know? And I should have handled this a lot better than I did, and I don't know why I didn't. I didn't mean to yell at you like that, or to make you feel bad. I just...I just...."

"What?" Justin stifled a yawn.

"I just want you to...not do that anymore, or feel like you _have_ to do that anymore. I just talked with Mom, and I guess I don't entirely understand all of this, your addiction. But...I'm willing to try and understand better so that I can help you. And I _do_ want to help you, Justin, I do. I promise that I will. I really want you to feel...I guess, safe here? With us? With _me_. I want you to feel like you belong here. And if you do feel that way, then maybe you won't have to do that? I don't know. I guess I'm trying to say that - that I really want you to get better."

Justin nodded and looked down at his hands. "I want to get better, Clay. I do. This is just really hard, you know? If I'd known how hard it would be, I never would have started this shit to begin with. I didn't mean to let you down, I didn't. And...I do want your help, if you'll give it to me."

"I will. I'm really sorry for blowing up at you. You didn't deserve that."

Shaking his head, Justin disagreed. "I mean, if I was in your place? I probably would've lost my shit, too. I kinda deserved it. But...like, I'm glad to hear you say that. It shows you give a damn about me. I don't think anyone's really given a damn about me in a long time, so...anyway. I really don't want to let you down anymore, and I'll try not to. I promise."

"I know," Clay nodded. "I believe you."

"Did....did you really mean all that, outside? About wanting a brother?"

Now it was Clay's turn to look down at his hands. "Yeah. I did. I've never told anyone about that until this morning. It's....this is so important to me. I know you think it's stupid or whatever...."

"I never said that. I don't think it's stupid."

"Really?" he looked back up and over at Justin.

"Really."

"I guess I was worried you'd like, make fun of me or something."

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm used to getting that reaction a lot from people."

"Well...I promise I won't make fun of you when you tell me stuff like that. Like, you can trust me. I-I want that with us. Okay?"

"Okay. Hey, I really am happy you're here, Justin. And I want us to make this work, for real. So I promise I'll try and be more patient with you."

"I'm happy I'm here, too, Clay. I am. And I'll promise to be a better person. For you and me."  Justin blinked a couple of times and wiped his eyes, then stretched out his aching muscles some.

"I'm also sorry I pushed you into telling me something that you weren't ready to tell me yet. If at all."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not," Clay shook his head. "That was...that was fucked up. I shouldn't have done that."

"I didn't want to do that in there, Clay. I didn't. But I knew that if I _didn't_ then things would be worse for me. It was the only thing I knew to do so that I'd...survive, I guess."

"Wait. Maybe...I guess I misunderstood. Before. You...weren't forced?"

"No, I...I was." he looked down again, ashamedly. "But not always. There were a couple of times, yeah. But when I was on the streets, in the wind? I talked to some guys our age, found out some stuff. What to do to make it. So...I...I offered, and..."

"Hey. Hey, it's okay. We don't have to talk about it anymore."

"Please don't tell anyone? Not even your parents? Please?"

Clay thought for a minute. In truth, he probably should tell Matt and Lainie, assuming they didn't already have some kind of information via Justin's files, or would get this information soon enough. But after everything that had happened that morning, to say nothing of the night before, it was the least he could do to keep his foster brother's confidence. "I promise," he said. "It stays between you and me. Heh. We're making a lot of promises to one another, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess we are," Justin smiled. "Thanks, man. So...you're not mad at me anymore?"

"I mean...I am a little. More at the situation than anything else, and that you had that shit in my room and in the house. But I'll get over it, I will. Give me a little time. We still need to talk about you and Jess, but we can do that later."

Justin nodded while he tried, and failed, to stifle a yawn again.

"You know, Mom and Dad are taking a nap, and I know I could use one also. And you _definitely_ need one. Wanna just crash out here?" Reaching behind him, Clay took the blanket that was draped on the back of the couch and began to unfold it. "Stretch out, you look like shit."

"Thanks, I think," he chuckled. "I could use one, yeah. They gave me all kinds of shots and medicine and stuff, and going through this...it sucks. Sorry I puked on your shoes again."

"Hey, they're clean now if nothing else. Well, let me know what I can do to help and I'll try to do it. But please, try to avoid throwing up on my stuff again. C'mon, take a nap, you'll feel a lot better after."

As Clay scooted down some so he could lean his head back on the cushions and put his feet up on the table, Justin arranged one of the throw pillows and brought his legs up, so that his feet were pretty much in Clay's lap.

"Dude. Really? Gross."

"You said to stretch out."

"I don't want your nasty feet on me!"

"I'm wearing socks!"

"Justin...just...turn yourself around and put the pillow next to or on my leg."

Slowly, hesitantly, Justin did exactly that. "Like....are you sure? This is okay?"

Rolling his eyes, Clay arranged the pillow so that while it wouldn't be on his crotch, it was essentially on his thigh. "Did you or did you not sit by me last night when I asked you to? This is fine."

Laying on his side, facing the television which he had turned off, Justin got comfortable as Clay draped the blanket over him and brought part of it up and over his own legs, and they each closed their eyes.

"Can you imagine if Zach or Alex were to walk in right now and see this?" Clay giggled.

"Fuck, that's all we need right now," Justin giggled back in agreement.

Clay's arm was originally along the back of the couch, but that soon became uncomfortable, so he slowly brought it down. Carefully and gently, he rested it and his hand on the arm and side of Justin, who just as carefully brought up one hand from underneath him and reached up to take Clay's arm and bring it down closer to his body, so that he could hold onto it.

"Is...like, is this okay?" he whispered. "If it's not, tell me, and..."

"It's fine," Clay whispered back as he gave a friendly squeeze. "Get some rest. Shithead."

"O-okay. Yeah. Thanks. Dumbass."

Clay smiled. _Well...as far as nicknames go, there are worse ones to have,_ he thought to himself. _Why not?_

His mother had been right: this was going to take time, and it wouldn't be perfect. There would be times Justin would do things that would hurt his feelings, and more than likely he would wind up doing something unintentionally that would hurt Justin's. But at the end of the day, they'd figure out a way to move past it. They were two entirely different personalities, but maybe that could be a good thing. Clay could teach Justin about cooking some simple things, and how to solve an algebra equation. He'd introduce him to the world of super heroes and science fiction, indie music and a love of books (maybe). Justin could help him with his self confidence, maybe even when it comes to girls ( _I wonder if Sheri knows about what happened yesterday? Bet she does..._ _I hope she isn't mad at me or anything_ ), and he'd probably try to get him into some kind of sports. Well, it wouldn't be too awful to watch a game...just forget about trying a three pointer. He could give him advice in his own way, because Justin knew a lot more about a lot of things that Clay simply did not. In a weird kind of way, it would be like he was the younger brother, and Justin the older one.

That actually might be really fucking cool.

And when one of them went off the right track, they'd help each other get back on it. Or, if one of them reached too high, the other could help him come back down. Most of all, as Lainie explained, learning all of these things wouldn't just happen overnight, it was going to take some time. They'd piss one another off, sure. But if it really did work - and Clay truly wanted it to work, and it was becoming obvious Justin did as well - then at the end of the day it would be all right.

After all, that's what family was all about.

Even if they tried to put their nasty feet on you. Socks or not.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers!
> 
> Short chapter this time, but I felt we needed some happy after the last one, which was pretty heavy. Now, don't get me wrong, Clay is still kinda mad at Justin, but he's slowly starting to understand a lot more why Justin did what he did.
> 
> Ye Writer admits that he should have done a better job in the previous chapter when it comes to Justin explaining what happened while in juvenile detention. What I tried to get across was that, yes, there were times he was forced into things. But, my intent was for Justin to explain to Clay that he did what he did as a survival mechanism and to obtain the drugs. So, was it non-consensual? In part, yes, while also partly of his own volition because he knew he would be targeted. This doesn't make it any better, no, and I admit that as well. Still, I hope this helps explain things more fully, and I'll come back to that in a later chapter or story. 
> 
> Anywho! I hope you enjoyed this one. Next time, it's the Monday after, and hoo boy....the Gang has some opinions about what Tyler tried to do and what Clay did to try and stop it. We'll be back out in the bleachers with Alex, as promised.
> 
> Thank you as always for the kudos, feedback and comments. As always, stay tuned! Clay and Justin will return soon! Thanks for reading and take care!


	9. Sometimes It's a Bitch, Sometimes It's a Breeze...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Clay and Justin return to school following the weekends events....

  

_There are days when I swear I could fly like an eagle_  
_And dark desperate hours that nobody sees_  
_My arms stretched triumphant on top of the mountain_  
_My head in my hands, down on my knees_

 - from "Sometimes It's a Bitch," by Stevie Nicks

 

In hindsight, Clay should've known that it was going to be one of those Mondays. He had suspected that the first day back at school following the events of Saturday night would be interesting, true, and Mondays in general tended to suck more often than not. This particular Monday, though, dialed that up a few notches. The first clues came late Sunday afternoon, when he sent a few text messages out. While he wasn't exactly getting the cold shoulder entirely from other members of the newly christened "Deranged Over Protective Scooby Gang," he wasn't quite getting the warmest of receptions either:

 

**Claydoh:** _Hey. Everything ok? I'm sorry about last night. Are we good?  
_

**Tony:** _Everything is fine. We'll talk tomorrow._

**Claydoh:** _Oh, ok. Just making sure. See you then._ **  
**

 

Tony had always been there for him in one way or the other, and he now regretted the potentially terrible situation he had almost put him in. Hopefully his best friend and confidant would understand, and their short text exchange was only a bump in the road, not a roadblock. Still, this bothered him and lingered in the back of his head.

 

**Clay:** _Hey man, just want to check in._

**Zach:** _Okay..?_

**Clay:** _Crazy last night, huh?_

**Zach:** _Yep, one way to put it_

**Clay:** _I really didn't mean to worry anyone or cause problems you know._

**Zach:** _Yeah. Hey, talk tomorrow, ok? Gotta help May with her homework._

**Clay:** _Sure, no problem. See you then._

 

He didn't know Zach very well, yet, but he did know that he had a younger sister and took on some of the responsibilities that their father otherwise would have. He suspected that the death of George Dempsey the previous summer still weighed heavily on Zach, and he wanted to assure his new(er) friend, soon, that he was there if at any time he wanted to talk about things.

 

**Clay:** _Why do I get the feeling everyone is pissed at me?_

**Alex:** _I'm not pissed at you_

**Clay:** _I think you're the only one who isn't then._

**Alex:** _You okay?_

**Clay:** _Been better. It's been a day over here. Stuff with Justin. Too much to go into over text, but we can talk about it tomorrow?_

**Alex:** _Yeah, for sure. Call me if you need anything._

**Clay:** _Will do._

 

Alex was, in some ways, an enigma. Just who _was_ Alex Standall, anyway? The hipster? The loner? The one who tried to fit in - which Clay could relate to all too well? Another quiet one? Someone who carried the weight of guilt inside? Like Zach, he had come to like and trust Alex more and more, and it appeared anyway that he was the only one who seemed to understand why Clay wanted their group to stick together and the actions he took on Saturday night. A whole new situation had just been opened up, thanks to Justin - but maybe that would turn out all right in the end after all.

Maybe everything would turn out all right.

Given time.

And yet....

The thought that he already screwed up his own plan, that his circle of friends old and new stick together and watch out for one another as well as others at their school, weighed heavily on his mind throughout the rest of Sunday afternoon and into the evening, and it did little to help his anxiety. He really did want to turn the page and get back to some semblance of normalcy, as he had told Justin, and that included stepping out of his comfort zone and opening himself up more to the people around him, letting them in so to speak. For the longest time his parents and a few others had prodded him - in some ways subtle, in others a metaphoric shove forward - to widen and expand his circle, and he had finally taken that message to heart. That was an underlying reason why he had suggested to the others on Friday night that they, in essence, form a team as it were. Plus, as he reflected back on it, he had genuinely come to like them, and hoped they felt the same way about him.

So, he spent the remainder of the day trying to concentrate on other things, like studying French. But his mind kept wandering, his thoughts scattered, as the words in the textbook seemed to dance about on the page. Compounding his inability to focus was his right hand would shake every so often, especially when he went back to thinking about everything that had transpired the night before.

Then there was the whole situation with Justin. Well, two situations, really. While they had apologized to one another, he still couldn't help but be mad about what had happened. It was almost as if he had been betrayed in a way, and while it was stupid to think that, he did wrestle with it back and forth in his mind: be angry and give Justin the cold shoulder for awhile, or try to be understanding, as Mom had suggested and like he had promised to do? It was confusing, and he didn't quite know what to feel when it came right down to it. As if that wasn't bad enough, there was now a second front to potentially fight on: Justin's admission that he had sex with Jessica the night of the dance, in spite of the fact that she and Alex were now dating. How _that_ was going to be handled, in the end, God only knew.

Well. One battle at a time. And maybe it wouldn't even be a battle after all.

Hell, maybe he was just overthinking things, as usual.

And yet....

That night before going to bed, he opened up the various social media apps on his phone, not having checked them during the day. The last time he had posted anything was on his Instagram before leaving for the dance, a picture of Justin with the caption, "Someone finally showered." Opening up Twitter and then Snapchat, he saw that they were full of stories and reactions from the attempted school shooting and Tyler's arrest, natural enough. But then, much to his dismay, he found that _he_ was showing up or being mentioned:

_"Clay Jensen just keeps looking for trouble!"_ read one tweet.

_"He could've been killed omg....crazy..."_ read another.

_"Jensen, what the fuck were you thinking man??"_

_"I always knew Tyler was a psycho."_

And on it went. A few were supportive, or at the least sympathetic towards him and to a lesser extent Tyler, but the more he scrolled the more upset he became. Finally, he decided to tweet - well, subtweet, really - everyone at Liberty:

_"Put yourself in my shoes. His too."_

Sighing with a frown, he closed out the app and tossed the phone onto the bed in front of him, then ran his hands through his hair as he looked down and shut his eyes.

"You okay?" Justin asked from behind him, laying on the couch.

"Fine."

"Sure?"

"Yeah. No. I...I don't know." Turning around to face his roommate and foster brother, he sat on the bed heavily next to his phone. "I think by trying to fix it, I just made it worse."

"Will it help any if I say that I'm sorry? Again?"

"A little, kinda. I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow."

"Clay," Justin sat up slowly, wincing a little from the soreness in his body as he did so. "Look. Who cares what everyone else thinks? Fuck them. I keep telling you, you did a really brave thing last night, I don't think I could've done that. Hell, I don't know anyone who could. It'll blow over."

"I guess. I just don't want anyone mad at me. Our gang. You know?"

"Yeah, I get that," he nodded in reply, rubbing his stomach and side as he did so. "Man....the cramps are the fucking worst. I forgot how much these suck."

"You need anything?"

"Well, I'm kinda wishing I didn't have to give up weed...that would make these go away."

Clay narrowed his eyes. "That's _not_ funny."

"Hey, it would help," he grinned. "We could get high together and you'd calm down some, too."

"No, Justin! Jesus, what the hell is wrong with you? Seriously?!"

"Clay....I'm kidding man, lighten up, willya? Geez, c'mon."

"Well it's nothing to kid about! This is serious!"

"Jense...Clay! Clay....calm the fuck down, all right? I said I was kidding. Look, I know it's been a shitty weekend, but you _really_ need to lighten up just a little."

"Fuck, Justin. This has nothing to do with me lightening up! It has everything to do with you staying clean from now on! You WILL get off of this shit, and I WILL help you do it. Got it, shithead? Don't you dare fuck this up. Now get to bed, we have school in the morning. If you're good, I'll even take you to McDonald's before we get there for breakfast,"

"Okay, okay. Man. You really are so uptight, you know that? And if you're going to keep calling me 'shithead' then I'm going to keep calling you 'dumbass' as a term of...what did you call it again?"

"Affection or endearment," Clay explained, rolling his eyes before pulling back the sheets. "Fine. Just don't use it around Mom or Dad."

"Deal," Justin grinned for a second, then became serious again. "Um...can I use...I would get the chills when I detoxed the first time here, and I don't have a bad fever right now or anything. But just in case? If not, that's okay! I'll put on my hoodie or something."

Clay paused and remembered that he had promised to show Justin something a couple nights ago. "Oh. Come on, follow me," he said, walking over and opening the bedroom door.

"Where are we going?" Justin asked as he got up and followed Clay out into the hallway and to the linen closet.

"Here," Clay said after opening it. "Take whatever you need, okay? There's blankets, pillows, another comforter."

"Are...is this okay? Like, you're sure? Your folks won't care?"

"Justin," Clay replied softly and with sincerity, "I don't know how many times we need to say it, this is your home now, too. You can take whatever you need to use, I promise. It's fi....oh good grief, are you crying again?"

"No," Justin answered in a shaky voice while wiping at his eyes with his arm. "It's from the detoxing is all."

Shaking his head, Clay grabbed a comforter and handed it over to Justin. "Dude, it's fine. C'mon, let's get to bed." As they turned back, Clay reached over and slowly, carefully put his arm around Justin, who tensed up for just a second before relaxing as he was pulled into a side hug.

"Thanks, Clay."

"You're welcome."

"You really gonna buy me breakfast tomorrow?"

"Only if you're good," Clay teased. "Did you do all your homework? Brush your teeth?"

Justin paused and handed the comforter back over as he head towards the bathroom. "Thanks for reminding me about the brushing thing!"

For about the hundredth time that weekend, Clay rolled his eyes. "This is going to take some getting used to...this is so fucked up," he muttered to himself as he walked back to the bedroom. "I did say I wanted a brother."

And that, for all the turmoil of the weekend, had been the highlight. A new brother in his life, at long last.

They'd stand together, Clay Jensen and Justin...Foley? Jensen? Foley-Jensen? It didn't quite roll off the tongue just yet. But, they'd stand together, maybe be the core, the glue that held this new Gang together. Hell, if they could do that, then maybe everything would turn out right in the end.

It would have to.

Wouldn't it?

And yet.

And yet...

 

 

* * *

 

**Monday, April 23**

As he pulled out of the drive through and turned in the direction of Liberty High, Clay looked over at Justin in the passenger seat stuffing his face.

"Dude....slow down. How can you eat that much, seriously?" he asked in disgust.

"I'm hungry," Justin protested through a mouthful of McMuffin. "I didn't eat a lot yesterday."

"That's...oh my God, Justin, chew and swallow before you talk...understandable, but still. Are you really going to eat all of that?"

Swallowing and picking up a large orange juice, Justin took a long drink before reaching into the bag for his second hash brown. "You don't know me very well, do you?"

"Like...where do you put it all? And if I reach in there for mine, are you going to bite at my hand or something?"

Justin simply grinned and chomped his teeth together before reaching in and handing over a breakfast sandwich to Clay, who rolled his eyes yet again and began to unwrap it with one hand. "So...how're you feeling? Any better?"

Looking down, Justin took another drink, much more slowly this time. "Yeah. A little," he said quietly. "Physically, anyway. My head, though..."

"You have a headache?"

"No. No, not that. Like, mentally. I'm kinda kicking myself over all of this and everything that happened yesterday. All weekend. I'm...just a fuckup. I always will be."

Clay had brought his food up to his mouth and was about to take a bite when he heard this, and stopped. When they had gone to bed, he thought they were at a better place with each other, in spite of everything that had happened over the weekend and what Clay was still struggling to understand and have patience with. The one thing that he hadn't taken into consideration, though, was what Justin must have been feeling though it all. It's not that he meant to overlook it, far from it. He  _wanted_ his foster brother to get better and to feel safe, but he had gotten so absorbed in his own thoughts and fears that after their talk that afternoon on the couch, they hadn't brought it up again.

"No. You're not a fuckup, Justin. I mean....okay, so you do some fucked up shit sometimes..."

"Gee, thanks."

"Let me finish. But, we _all_ do fucked up shit sometimes. You're not alone. I mean, think about some of the stuff I did the last couple of months."

"I guess."

"It's going to be all right. Like I told you, I'm going to help." Clay finally took that bite, a rather large one as they were nearing school, and chewed.

"Great. One guy who does fucked up shit helping another that does fucked up shit. Fantastic."

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Chew your food and swallow before you talk," Justin smiled.

"Shut up."

They drove and ate in silence for a few minutes before Justin spoke up again, quietly. "Do...do you still hate me?"

"What?"

"You said...that day...you said you never stopped hating me."

"Would you be in my car stuffing yourself right now if I still did?"

"No, I guess not."

"Alright then. Hand over my hash browns, please."

But Justin couldn't help but observe that Clay never actually said he didn't hate him. While everything that had been said and done the last three days might indicate otherwise, he still harbored that doubt.

Did Clay hate him? And if he did, why was he doing all of this and being nice, kind, to him? And if he didn't, then why wouldn't he come out and say so?

 

* * *

 

After parking the car, Clay got his backpack from the backseat and slung it over his shoulder. Closing the door and sighing, he could see the looks on the faces of students walking past him in the parking lot, whispering to one another or shaking their heads as they looked at him and walked along.

"You good?"

"Well, I guess we're gonna find out, aren't we? This day is going to suck big time."

"It'll be fine." Justin had polished off his third hash brown and had now joined Clay on the driver's side of the car. "A little strange maybe, but fine. And I told you, I'm here. Okay? I got your back man," he said with a friendly pat on the shoulder.

Sighing again, Clay adjusted his backpack and started to walk towards the school, Justin alongside. "This is still kinda weird, right?" his foster brother asked.

"Little bit, yeah."

"Good, I thought it was just me. I guess it'll get less weird eventual-" He paused and put his hand over his mouth and stopped walking.

"You okay? Crap, you're not going to be sick are you? See, you ate too much! Come on, let's get you to a bath-"

Closing his eyes, Justin shook his head and the rumble of an enormous burp came up, held in only by the hand over his mouth.

"-room. Oh my God, Justin."

"Whew. I feel better. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. It'll get less weird eventually."

"All the potential brothers in the world and I get the one who's the most gross."

"Hey!"

Finally entering the building, they saw the school principal, Gary Bolan, and the guidance counselor, Priya Singh, waiting for them just inside the doors.

"Mr. Jensen, just the man we were waiting for. Come with us, please. We'd like to talk to you about the dance," Bolan explained.

Clay turned to look at Justin who nodded and patted his shoulder again. "It's okay, you got this. I'll see you third period. Don't worry, it'll be all right."

Nodding back, Clay walked down the hall with Bolan and Singh, more eyes trained on and following them, until finally, after what seemed to be the longest and most uncomfortable journey of his life, they entered the administration portion of the building, and into the principal's office.

"Have a seat, Mr. Jensen. We'll get you to your first period in plenty of time," Bolan said as he walked around to his desk and sat down. "So. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't suspend you right now."

"Suspend me? On what grounds?"

"You put yourself and several hundred students in danger by-"

"Excuse me, what? How did _I_ put peoples lives in danger? I _stopped_ the danger!"

"You interfered with in an active crime scene."

"How could I have possibly interfered?! The police weren't there yet!"

"Clay," Miss Singh interrupted, "I think what Mr. Bolan is trying to say is that the incident could have turned out much worse than it did for everyone involved, and by taking matters into your own hands you could have potentially exacerbated the situation. Escalated it. Fortunately, that did not happen, but you need to understand that it very easily could have."

Bolan leaned forward. "Miss Singh, there's no need to sugar coat this. The school has had enough negative publicity this year anyway, and now-"

Crossing his arms, Clay narrowed his eyes as he stared at his principal. "Gee, I wonder why that is."

"Excuse me?"

"Do you really want me to go through everything that's gone on this year? Seriously? And now, you're trying to pin the blame for what almost happened Saturday night on me? Make me the scapegoat for _your_ shortcomings?"

"I'd choose your next words very carefully, Mr. Jensen."

"Have you talked to Tyler? Or his parents? Did you try and find out _why_ he tried to shoot up the school? What happened to him, Mr. Bolan? Do you even know? Or do you just not care?"

Bolan stiffened and sat up in his chair. "Tyler Down is a troubled young man, that much is very clear to me. As it should be to you."

"Do you even wonder why he's 'troubled' at all?"

"There are situations with the student body that are out of the control of the administration. We're not baby sitters, there's no possible way for us to know every single thing about every single one of you."

Clay shook his head. "No, in this case, you knew. You knew Tyler was being bullied, he admitted to it in court. Under oath. He went to a program for anger management. You _knew_ he was suffering. You _knew_ he had been targeted in the past. He just got back from his program. He just got back! Something must have happened to him, probably here, to make him want to do that. Did that ever occur to you? So I'll ask you again, did you talk to him or to his parents at all?"

An uncomfortable silence fell over the office. Finally, Miss Singh spoke. "As far as I can tell, Clay did not break anything specific to the student code of conduct, Mr. Bolan. I do not feel that there are grounds for suspension or any kind of punitive action against him. But Clay, you must understand how dangerous and unwise of a decision it was that you made. There, Mr. Bolan is correct. You jeopardized your own life in addition to who knows how many others had things gone differently."

Clay closed his eyes and shook his head in disagreement.

"You'll stay enrolled in the Alternative Strategies class. And you'll have a session with Miss Singh once a week from now until the end of the semester. I also suggest you keep your head down and stay out of trouble from here on out. Is that understood?"

Clay stared at Bolan.

"I asked you a question, Mr. Jensen."

"Yes. Understood."

"Good. Also, there will be no more talk of the events of April 21 by you or anyone else in this school. Is that understood?"

"That's.....wait. Do you seriously think you can control what everyone in this school talks about at any given time? This is just like Alex Standall all over again!"

"Is that understood, Mr. Jensen?"

"I don't believe this!"

Miss Singh reached over and put a hand on Clay's arm. "Clay. Please. It's been such a difficult year as it is. I know I wasn't here for all of it, but I am aware of what occurred."

"All right. Fine."

"Good. First period is going to begin in a few minutes. You should get going. Unless you had anything else, Mr. Bolan?"

"I believe I've said everything I needed to say."

Nodding, Clay stood and walked out of the office in a huff.

This day was not getting off to the right start.

 

* * *

 

Other than Justin, the only other person - so far, anyway - who seemed to be on Clay's side to some extent was Cyrus, who he sat next to in the Alternative Strategies class.

"Hey, man. You handled that really well the other night," he said as Clay sat down. "Hardcore man. Took a hell of a lot of balls."

"Yeah, well, that's me. Clay Jensen, Big Balls and Stupid Mistakes," Clay sarcastically replied as he pulled out a notebook.

"Dude, I'm serious. You stared him down and stopped him. You saved all of us. And...you saved Mac. That's....just, thanks man. If something had happened to her....I don't think....I mean, I don't know...." Cyrus shuddered a little and turned away.

"Hey. You okay?"

Cyrus nodded and sniffed. "Yeah. Just don't tell anyone I stopped being a badass for a second just now, okay?"

"Sure," Clay half smiled.

"Hardcore man. Huge balls."

"Oh, whatever. Well at least you think what I did wasn't stupid."

"Hey, fuck what everyone else thinks."

"Now you sound like Justin."

"Well, Foley's right. What's this about you two becoming brothers? I overheard something about it at the dance."

"Long story. I'll tell you later."

"Cool. Look forward to it. And hey...you need anything, you let me know, yeah? I also overheard something about you all playing Scooby Doo or some shit?"

Clay chuckled at that one. "In a manner of speaking, yeah. Assuming the rest of the gang is still interested after what happened."

"Nice. Well, I want in. I wanna pull monster masks off some old fart, too. Fight for justice or whatever. In my spare time."

"We'll just call you an honorary member then, how's that?"

"Nice, I'm down with that."

"Hey, so can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you know...did something happen to Tyler? Like on Thursday or Friday?"

Cyrus sighed and shook his head. "No clue, man. Wish I did know."

As the bell rang and their teacher (the latest in a series for this class) walked in, Clay nodded and wondered.

What _did_ happen to Tyler? Why _did_ he want to attempt mass murder?

Maybe the anger management therapy didn't work after all. Maybe that's all there was to it.

And yet....

 

* * *

 

During third period - Earth Science - Clay at least got a little bit of a reprieve from his self doubts and the whispers in the hallway as he went from one class to the other ( _"Yeah, that's Jensen...the dude is crazy!" "Can you believe what he did? He could've been killed!" "I dunno, I think he's a total badass for doing that..."_ ) by observing for the first time how Justin conducted himself in class. Not in the sense of behavior, but how he took notes or concentrated.

His new brother was going to be a lot of work.

After fourth period it was the lunch hour, and walking towards the cafeteria he ran into Tony for the first time that day, heading in the opposite direction.

"Hey, Tony! Wrong way, man. C'mon, let's find the others and eat."

"Hi, Clay. Well, I signed myself out, gonna meet up with Caleb for lunch today."

"Oh. Oh, okay. Cool. Well, tell him I said hi."

"Sure thing."

As Tony began to walk off, Clay stopped him. "Hey...Tony? Are....are you sure we're okay? Please don't be mad at me."

"Clay," Tony said, stopping mid-stride and turning back around to face his friend, "did you stop and think what would happen to me if I was caught by the police with him? That would be my third strike, man."

"Then....then why did you agree? Why did you do it?"

"Because, Clay," he sighed, "you asked me to, and the kid needs serious help. But you have to understand that there are consequences to everyone's actions. Yours, mine, Tyler's. So am I mad at you? Maybe a little bit, yes. Disappointed is maybe a better word. But I'll get over it, okay? Just give me a day or two more to cool off. Now, I need to get going, Caleb is waiting. I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah. Okay...later."

Well.

This day just kept getting better and better.

But, this was Tony after all. Level headed Tony. He'd calm down and things would be back to normal. In a couple of days, he said. It would be fine.

And yet. And yet...

Catching up to Justin in the cafeteria, they made their way over to where Zach and Alex were sitting.

"Hey guys."

"Hey, Clay." Alex offered up a reassuring and (rare) friendly smile.

Zach head nodded as he chewed a mouthful of food.

"Where's everyone else?"

Swallowing, Zach clued in the newcomers. "Ryan and Courtney signed out for lunch. I think Sheri is using lunch as an extra study hall today."

"And Jess called out today, said she wasn't feeling too well," Alex chimed in. "I'm going to try and meet up with her later if she's up to it."

"After therapy."

"Yes, coach. After therapy."

At hearing this news about Jess, Clay glanced over at Justin, who looked down and began to pick at his food.

The foursome ate in a somewhat uncomfortable silence for several minutes. Too uncomfortable. They should be able to talk about this, that was part of the plan, after all - don't let anything stay inside and fester. And that's why Clay finally spoke up.

"Guys. Listen. About the other night...."

"The cops should've shot him on sight," Zach interrupted.

"Whoa, dude," Justin looked over. "That's sort of harsh, no?"

"No, it's not, Justin. He's a nutcase, you know that as well I as do. All that shit he pulled, all the creepy pictures? He should've been arrested for some of that crap as it is, and instead he almost got everyone killed."

"Yeah, but Zach," Clay tried to explain, "there has to be a reason why he tried to do what he did, no? "

"There is, I just said it. He's insane."

"Zach..." Clay tried again.

"Clay, he's beyond help and a lunatic. And honestly man, after thinking about it, what you did was just as insane. What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed, and Justin and Jessica were out there with you! They could've been shot also! And then what? He comes inside with whatever the fuck he had and sprays the gym? We should've barricaded the doors, gone out another exit, I dunno. All things considered, you're lucky you're sitting here right now. We all are."

"This....this isn't my fault..." Clay said quietly.

"No, it's not. But I'm not sure how you made it any better."

Exhaling, Clay stood up from the table. "I...uh...need to go work on some stuff. I'll catch up with you all later."

Justin looked up, turning in his seat as Clay started to walk off. "Hey, you all right?"

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you after last bell, meet you at your locker," Clay said, walking off.

As Clay left, Alex frowned and turned to Zach. "Well. Do you feel better now?"

"What?"

"Jesus Christ, you are so fucking clueless sometimes, you know that?"

"What are you talking about?"

"God, Zach! Think about what he asked us to do on Friday night, remember? Look out for other people, try to help where we can. What do you think he did on Saturday! We all talk a good talk, but Clay? He actually _did_ the very goddamn thing he said he was going to do. He tried to help, that's all! Weren't you the one saying not too long ago that he isn't a coward? Well, fuck, Zach! What's the point in having friends if you're not going to stick up for them and stand by them! Okay, so maybe... _maybe_...what he did wasn't exactly the smartest thing in the world, but you know what? He actually fucking _did_ something! I get the feeling he's taking a lot of shit for it today, and you just had to go and make him feel worse. Happy now? Satisfied?"

Zach looked away from Alex. "I...never thought of it like that."

"Gee, no shit. And as for Tyler? Yeah, he did some fucked up things, but God...there Clay is right, something must have happened to send him over the edge. Try to have a little empathy!" Alex took his cane and slowly stood up.

"You're leaving, too?" Zach asked.

"Yes. I'm going to actually do this whole Scooby Gang nonsense and make sure Clay is all right. I'll see the both of you later. And Zach? I want you to think about something. If May had been in that gym, wouldn't _you_ put yourself between a gun and her?"

"Jesus, Alex! Of course I would!"

"Because she's your sister and you love her."

"Yeah!"

Alex nodded. "Well, guess what? We're Clay's friends. And he loves us. He may never say that to us, use those words, but in his own way? He does. Think about that."

As Alex slowly walked off, a chastened Zach sighed and wiped at his eyes.

"Um," Justin said, breaking the silence. "So...wanna split these fries?"

"Sure, Justin."

 

* * *

 

Alex had found Clay out on the bleachers. Their place.

"Hey, Clay," he said, sitting down next to his friend, who sat with hands clasped, staring straight ahead at nothing.

"Hi, Alex. You here to bitch and yell at me, too?" Clay asked. "Because I really don't need any more of that today. Between my parents, the police, Miss Singh, the others - I think I've had enough for a couple of days. You can bitch at me, like, on Wednesday or something. I'll let you do it all day long."

Alex shook his head. "No. I'm not going to bitch or yell or lecture. I just thought you might want some company is all."

"Oh. Okay."

Alex saw how broken Clay looked, and he sighed. "So...Clay, listen..."

"Alex, please. I really don't want to talk about it. Not right now."

"Did I say you had to?"

Now it was Clay's turn to sigh as he lowered his head. "No."

"Okay, then. Just listen for a second. All I wanted to say was...I think that was the bravest thing I've ever seen anyone do."

"It was stupid. I could have been killed. And it didn't work."

"Really? Did anyone get hurt?"

"No."

"All right. So, maybe it was stupid. But it was still really fucking brave."

Clay raised his head and looked back out on the football field. "He was still arrested," he said quietly. "I couldn't fix it."

"He needs help, Clay. He's alive and he'll get help. And everyone else is alive, too."

Clay nodded in reply. "Yeah. And everyone is pissed at me."

"No, they're not. They're still just shaken up is all. And even if they are pissed, so what? They'll get over it."

"I guess."

Alex turned his head and looked out on the field also, and that stillness, that shared comfort came over both of them. He didn't have to express anything; Alex knew Clay was feeling a little better just by having someone sit there with him. Still, a little encouragement never hurt, he figured.

"You're a good guy, Clay," he said after a couple of minutes. "I'm proud of you. And...thanks."

"Thanks, Alex."

"Do you want to...talk about something else? Like, everything with Justin or whatever?"

Clay shook his head. "Can we just sit here for awhile? I don't think they'll miss me in PE."

"Sure. Of course we can."

And they did, through the rest of the period. Just as he instinctively knew Clay would be out here, Alex also instinctively knew that this was what Clay needed right then - to sit in silence, to think about the events of the weekend, and how, if at all, they would move past it, and to have someone there with him.

Clasping his hands in front of him, Clay leaned forward a little and frowned, his lower lip quivering.

"Hey," Alex said softly as he reached out and put a hand on his friends back. "It'll be all right. Okay? I promise. Tyler will get the help he needs, and this...our thing, the group or gang or whatever. We're going to make this work."

Nodding, Clay wiped his eyes. "Y-yeah. Thanks, again."

They'd make it work. Alex was right. This wasn't even a setback, really, it was just a disagreement over the action taken. It would all turn out fine in the end.

And yet....?

 

* * *

 

Finally, the day had come to an end, and Justin was switching out books at his locker, waiting for Clay.

"Well, well....hey there, Justy!"

Oh. Shit.

Justin turned his head to see the menacing grin of Montgomery de la Cruz staring back at him.

"Monty."

"We haven't had a chance to talk since you got out of prison. How was it?"

"It wasn't prison, it was juvenile detention."

"Whatever, it's a place to put trash like you."

Slamming the locker shut, Justin turned to face his ex-friend. "Takes trash to know trash, Monty. Get the fuck out of the way."

"Now, is that any way to talk to a buddy? What's all this about you living with Jensen now? He turning you soft? Hey, tell you what. Bryce is still a little pissed at you and me, but I bet if we head over there this evening, say a few 'I'm sorry's' and maybe bring some good shit, it'll all be back to normal. What do you say? When was the last time you got a good buzz? Maybe even call some of his regulars, get you laid. Just like old times. Let's get things back to the way they were! I'm sorry I called you that, okay? C'mon, we can get stoned as fuck and bang some chicks."

Shaking his head, Justin backed up a little. "I...I don't think so. No, I'm good."

"Aw, come on, Justy. How much fun could that pussy Jensen be anyway? You gonna watch him jack off tonight?"

Gritting his teeth, his eyes narrowed and Justin's resolve came back. "Watch your mouth, Cruz."

Monty laughed at that. "Watch my mouth? Ohhhh, I get it! He's taking care of all your needs? I mean, it's whatever, man. A hole is a hole, right?"

"I said...watch your goddamn mouth. Knock it the fuck off, Clay's a good guy."

"A good guy!" Monty laughed. Man, you have gone soft, Foley!"

While this conversation was going on, Clay turned the corner and saw what was transpiring at Justin's locker.

"Oh, fucking hell, now what...?"

He couldn't hear what Monty was saying, but the fact that Justin's face was turning a deep red and his fists were now clenching together and then unclenching could only mean one thing: he was being provoked, and if he lashed out, that could mean his probation would be revoked. Back to juvenile detention, no adoption.

"Dammit!"

He quickly pulled out his phone and in desperation took action to see if Alex was correct - that they would make this work. He'd never texted so fast in his life:

 

**Clay:** _Hey! Someone, anyone! 911! Monty provoking Justin need help!_

**Clay:** _Anyone, please....please please help, his probation...at his locker...  
_

**Clay:** _Guys I'm sorry PLEASE_

 

Putting the phone back in his pocket, he quickly walked over and essentially slid in between Justin and Monty.

"Hey, guys! Long day, huh? Fucking Mondays, am I right? Justin, you good? Got all your shit, ready to head out? Monty, dude, what happened to your arm?"

Monty looked down at the cast that on his left arm. "What? Jensen, what are you...."

"Man, and no one has signed your cast! Hey, here, let me!" He shoved his bag at Monty who, bewildered, took it as Clay unzipped a side pocket. "I've got a marker in here someplace, I can draw something for you....how about a baseball?"

"Clay," Justin asked, astonished, "what the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm going to draw on Monty's cast," Clay said, pushing a little so that Monty was backed up against the lockers.

_And I'm buying us time, shithead...._

"Okay, here we go....black? Yeah, black will show up, it's a blue cast..."

"Jensen, I swear if you..."

"Don't want a baseball? How about a bunny?"

"A _bunny_?"

"Yeah, I draw really cute bunnies."

"He does."

Three heads turned to look at Zach, who had arrived on the scene. "I've seen them, they're little cartoons. You'll love it. Girls will, too."

"If you don't want a bunny," Alex said, walking over slowly from the other side, "he could probably draw a puppy or a kitty."

"A puppy dog! That's a great idea!" Clay smiled as he uncapped the marker. "A puppy it is."

"Are you going to color it in? Well, his cast is a rather horrific shade of blue, isn't it? Montgomery, did they not give you options? You know, we could all take turns coloring a different section," Ryan said as he walked up with Courtney.

"A rainbow. Yes," Courtney agreed. "That way he can show his support of the LBGTQ+ community here at Liberty."

"Rainbow?" Monty sputtered. "I...what the hell is wrong with you people?"

"What's wrong, Cruz?" Tony asked as he came up behind Justin. "Don't tell me you're not an ally after all. And here I thought you would be, what with being around all those naked jocks all the time in the locker room. Now that must be a sight."

"Oooh, Tony, you dirty boy," Ryan winked.

"Not all of them are worth looking at," Zach grinned. " _Right,_ Monty?" he asked, wiggling a little finger.

"Th-that's....it's...that's not true!" Monty sputtered again, not noticing that Clay was drawing away. "Shut up!"

"Oh, isn't it?" Scott said, crossing his arms as he walked over and stood in front of the group. "I mean, there's a bunch of us who might say otherwise."

Sheri walked up, next to Cyrus, who looked ready to punch someone. "What did we miss? Sorry we're late, got held up."

Justin grinned and turned to her. "Clay is drawing a puppy on Monty's cast. Isn't that nice of him? Oh, and Monty has a tiny cock apparently."

"Foley! Sh-shut up!"

"Okay!" Clay smiled, satisfied, and straightened up. "All done! I'll take my bag back now, thanks...tell me what you think!"

As Clay slung his backpack over his shoulder, Monty looked down and saw the drawing of a puppy wearing a Sherlock Holmes cap and holding a magnifying glass. "What the fuck...?"

"Well, he's a police puppy. And he's looking for your dick."

Monty looked at the group and pushed his way through them, walking off quickly. "You're all fucking crazy! This isn't over, Jensen!"

As their adversary walked off, Clay looked at the assembled Gang, each of whom was smiling back at him.

"Thanks....thanks, guys."

"Hey," Zach said, placing a hand on Clay's shoulder and squeezing, "this is what friends do. That's what _this_ group of friends does."

"Thank you," Clay nodded.

"Dammit! I wanted to pull his face off and see if an old man was underneath it!"

The Gang looked at Cyrus.

"What?"

 

* * *

 

Later that night, Clay sat outside on the back porch, looking out into the yard, his laptop opened next to him, as Justin came out to join him.

"Man, what a day."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"Listen, Clay. If I know Monty at all, he's not going to let that slide, what you did today. We're gonna have to watch your back from here on out."

Clay half-smiled and looked over at Justin. "It'll be fine. I can always call the cavalry again if I need to."

Justin shook his head. "What if you can't get to your phone in time? You're gonna have to be careful."

"I'll be fine, Justin."

"If you say so. What're you doing out here, anyway?"

Clay inhaled and then let out the breath. "Thinking. About what everyone's been saying today, to my face or otherwise."

"Oh. And?"

Clay pulled his laptop over. "I think I'm going to address it."

"Hang on. Didn't you say that Bolan told you not to talk about it."

"He did," Clay nodded. "In school."

Opening up an application, Clay started to type:

 

**MY TRUTH**

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back!!
> 
> Sorry for the long pause there, as real life got in the way. However, Ye Writer has returned!
> 
> Quite a bit going on in this chapter, some of which explains where we are in Maze with our cast of characters. You may have noticed I pulled a chunk of chapter five and repeated it here (Alex and Clay in the bleachers) since this is where it fits in.
> 
> And, UGH this chapter took for-ev-er and not just because I've been busy with work! I had a lot to say/write/do in this one, and it wasn't coming out easy for some reason. 
> 
> What's next? Well. Clay did start to type something, so we'll see what that is. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you as always for the comments and kudos, and don't forget I'm over at Tumblr if you want to chat about Maze, 13RW, or all things wacky and wonderful! Come pay a visit at therealdaveofdaves.tumblr.com
> 
> Stay tuned! Clay and Justin will return, very soon! Take care!


	10. Truths and Consequences, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which some truths are about to be revealed....

  

_Oh, here comes trouble_  
_Put your helmet on, we'll be heading for a fall_  
_Yeah, the whole thing's gonna blow_  
_And the devil's got my number_  
_It's long overdue, he'll come looking soon_  
_Yeah, the whole thing's gonna blow_

 - from "Trouble," by TV On The Radio

 

  **Tuesday, October 19, 2038  
**

**  
**

"Good morning, Doctor Jensen."

The door to the administration and counseling offices of Liberty High swung closed behind him as he came up to and around the front counter. "Good morning, Leslie," he replied, taking a handful of a papers from her.

"You have counseling staff at 10:30, your weekly meeting with Principal Porter was canceled for...obvious reasons, student appointments after lunch, and varsity practice after school. Plus, the usual phone calls to parents to return," the secretary ticked off as she handed the head of the Guidance and Counseling Department a list of messages and notes.

He reached into his sport coat and pulled a pair of reading glasses out of the inside pocket, and put them on as he began to glance at his tasks for the day. "In other words, another day of trying not to royally screw up the secondary education system totally for our students."

"We haven't done too badly."

"Not yet, no. This year. But, there's a first time for everything."

"How is Doctor Porter?"

"He's fine."

"I heard-"

"He's fine."

"Why was he practicing with the team anyway?"

"Because Kevin Porter, in his never ending quest for personal redemption, thought he was twenty years younger than he actually is and decided it would be a good idea to play a pick up game. Call the Superintendent's office and tell them I'll arrange that meeting for later in the week," he finished, handing back one of the notes.

"Will do. Oh, and there's one more thing..." Turning back to her desk, his office administrator picked up a piece of paper and brought it back over. "Mr. Standall printed this off last night and dropped it off for you on his way to the music rooms. He said you and your brother would want to see it and you'd know what to do with it."

"Alex couldn't tell me in person?"

"Isn't that something you should ask him?"

"Probably. What is it?"

"Want to hear a joke first? I mean, it's going to be a long day and all, you could use a laugh."

"Sure, why not."

"Decaf coffee."

"Decaf coffee.....what?"

"That's the joke. And that's all we have right now, we ran out of the high octane this morning."

"Wonderful," he muttered, taking the paper from her. Glancing down the first thing he saw was Alex's handwriting across the top:

_Sound familiar?_

Next, he saw how the post on social media began and smiled slightly to himself. "My truth."

"What's that?"

"It's how this starts. My truth, it says. Huh. Leslie, is my brother here yet?"

"He came in and got his mail. Should I call him down here?"

"No, he hates being summoned, and I don't want a sibling thing this morning," he replied as he handed his briefcase and the messages over, all but the printout, and placed his glasses back in his coat pocket. "Drop this on my desk, will you? I'll head down to his classroom, he's got first period free."

"You have calls to return," Leslie reminded him.

"Yes. I know. I'll return them. I promise!" he grinned as he looked over his shoulder and walked back out and down the hall.

Liberty High hadn't changed all that much, really, in twenty years. True, teachers and staff had come and gone, and there were the usual repairs and upgrades. A new Industrial Arts building had been constructed when he was in college. But, high school students were high school students, that hadn't changed one bit. So, to that end, many years before the student code of conduct had undergone major revisions and new support systems had been added. Some of those had been prompted by the students themselves, as the head of Guidance and Counseling knew very well from first hand experience. After all, he had been a central part of the change that had started to sweep through the school back in the 2018-2019 academic year.

Several students greeted him with "Hey, Dr. J!" or "Hi, Coach!" and he returned in kind, using first names when he remembered and could associate the face with it. After all, nearly seventeen hundred students was an enormous undertaking, even with an expanded faculty and staff. There were more now than when he had been a student, especially in counseling - thanks to his grant writing and arguing before the county school board that, yes, the extra funding was needed, and yes, it would be put to good use, and no, they wouldn't regret the decision.

Turning a corner, he stopped in front of an open classroom, and leaning against the door frame, peeked in.

"Hey. You busy?"

Clay Jensen looked up from his desk and over at his brother. "Hey JJ. Well let's see....I have quizzes and book reviews to grade, I need to revise my lecture and discussion on _The Fault in Our Stars_ , and I need to find ten minutes to talk to the other cross country coaches. All in the same free period."

"So that would be no, then? And what did I say about calling me that in school?"

Clay grinned. "I could use my _other_ nickname for you."

"Clay," Justin groaned as he walked into the English classroom.

"Okay, okay. Sorry. _Doctor_ Jensen. That better?"

"Slightly. And only in front of the kids."

"Does Jessica call you that? Like, when..."

Justin's eyes widened as he turned to close the classroom door. "Dude, really! Dumbass."

"Shithead."

"Whatever. Here, take a look at this. Alex left it for me this morning."

Clay got up from behind his desk and walked over to his brother, putting on his own reading glasses. "Between the two of us we have...what? Seventeen years of higher ed and we still use our high school nicknames."

"And somehow I wound up with the doctorate in education. Beat that with a stick."

"A fact that Mom and Dad never cease to remind me about. And before you ask, no, I have no intentions of going back. Two "Doctor Jensens" in the family are enough."

"But then Sheri could call you that also when..."

Clay laughed and took the paper from Justin. "Shut up. What did our erstwhile Jazz Band teacher leave for you."

"Read it."

Clay did just that. "Huh. Anything going on that we need to know about?"

"I don't think so, no. But, he's obviously upset about something. You have him later today, don't you?"

"Yeah," Clay nodded. "I'll talk to him. He's a good kid, kind of an introvert. Really smart. He'll do well on the state practice test, could wind up being a merit scholar."

"Now, I wonder who that sounds like?"

"No clue. All he needs is an adopted brother. Okay, yeah. I'll see what I can do, and if need be I'll head your way with him."

"Sounds good. Oh, Jess said not to be late for dinner Friday. Mom and Dad are coming, too."

"Now, when have we ever been late to your place for dinner?"

"It has been known."

Clay shook his head and laughed. "You sound more and more like Dad every day...."

 

* * *

 

 

**Monday Evening, April 23, 2018**

The only way a student from Liberty High wouldn't have seen what was now all over social media that evening was if they had no Twitter, Instagram or Facebook account to begin with. But for those who did, and there were many, there could be no escaping what Clay Jensen had written and posted, and was now being shared, retweeted, or otherwise having attention being drawn to:

 

 

_**My Truth** _

_So, this past weekend - well, we all know what happened. And just about everyone knows what I did, and trust me, I've heard a lot about what a lot of you think. But there's one thing left out of all of this, and that's **why** I did what I did. I know there's quite a few of you who think that what I did was crazy, and maybe it was, who knows? But I want you all to read this first, my reasons why, and think about it some.  
_

_It's been a fucking awful year, we all know that. There's been too much hurt, too much pain, too much death that we've all had to deal with. I think for a lot of us, for whatever the reason, we've just kind of grown accustomed to it all, like it's just something that's always going to be a part of our experience at Liberty. But, that's just the thing! We're high school students. We **shouldn't** have to deal with some, if not most, of this shit.  _

_And school shootings. Why is that the fucking new normal? It shouldn't be! None of us here at Liberty, or at any school, should have to worry about being in class or being at a dance and having to wonder whether or not someone with a gun is going to come in and start shooting!_

_Tyler Down isn't some monster, and he's not a murderer. He's going through a lot of the same shit we all are, and maybe even more than most. I know I'm guilty of not treating him the way he should have been, and I never knew how much he was really hurting._

_But, I hurt, too. And so do a lot of my friends. And I know I lot of you are also. But there's a right way and a wrong way to handle our hurt. I've pledged to try and make up for my mistakes and try my very best to be a better person and a better classmate. And if that means putting myself in harm's way, and try to prevent another tragedy, then fuck it, that's what I'm going to do._

_That's what I did. I don't regret it._

_If we don't look out for each other, who else will? I stepped up....right or wrong, but I did. You can think I'm crazy for doing it, that's fine. But I'm glad no one at the dance got hurt. That's what Hannah Baker would want, and Jeff Atkins, too._

_Hopefully, that's what you want also._

_-Clay Jensen_

 

 

Justin nodded as he looked at what Clay had written that Monday evening on his laptop and had posted to his Facebook page, then a link on his Twitter. "Damn. That's...powerful stuff, man. Think it'll do any good?" he asked, turning the computer back around and pushing it back towards Clay.

"Well," Clay sighed, "I guess we'll find out in the morning. Bolan is probably going to flip the fuck out, but whatever. Let him."

"Yeah, I can see him doing that. What's your plan there?"

"I'll....think of something. Probably make it up as I go along, I dunno. Anyway. I'm going to head back inside, work on some homework. You should, too. I'll look over your stuff when you're done."

"Yeah...yeah, okay. I'll be in in a minute and we can get started."

Getting up from the patio table, Clay closed his laptop and tucked it under his arm. "Don't procrastinate. Hey, how're you feeling?"

Justin shrugged. "Better. Kinda tired. Achy. At least I can keep food down."

"Good. Well, not that you're achy. That's...no, like, that sucks and all. And you can eat and whatever, and- "

"Clay," Justin interrupted, "I know, you said you were sorry. For yesterday, It's fine. We're good."

"Yeah," Clay frowned. "I still don't know if I should be mad at you or not though. I'm kinda having a hard time with this still."

 "I...I know. I get it. But, let's go with 'or not'?"

 "I guess I can try 'or not,' yeah. Anyway....let's get to it."

 "Yeah, be right there."

 As Clay went back inside, Justin pulled out his phone and quickly typed out and sent a text:

 

**Justin:** _Hey. Missed you today. I've been thinking about what happened. Saturday. Not with Clay and Tyler but us. You know? I think we need to tell Alex._

 

If Clay could tell a truth, he reasoned, so could he and Jess. A minute or two went by before a buzzing signaled he had received a reply:

 

**Jess:**   _Hi. Missed you too. I've been thinking about it too. We should tell him. I just don't know how. Or when. But he needs to know, I feel guilty._

**Justin:** _Me too. If Clay wants this Gang thing to work and we want to be together then thats the right thing to do, right?_

**Jess:** _Yes. And no. Justin, you know I care about you....very much._

**Justin:** _Why do I think I'm not going to like what's coming next_

**Jess:** _We made a terrible, terrible mistake. It's my fault...._

**Justin:** _It's **our** fault..._

**Jess:** _Regardless. I think I need to keep working on myself here for a little while. I care about you, and I care about Alex. And I need to figure some things out._ **  
**

**Justin:** _Oh. So you don't want to be with me?_

**Jess:** _Justin...I don't know. There's a lot I need to think about. Plus my dad. You know._

**Justin:** _Jess...please...I want you. I want us._

**Jess:** _I know you do. But I'm not sure what **I** want right now. Okay? Please. Let's talk to Alex. Tomorrow._

**Justin:** _Okay. I love you._

**Jess:** _I'll talk to you in the morning and we'll figure out how to do this._

**Justin:** _Sure, yeah. Okay. I love you._

**Jess:** _See you in the morning._

 

This was not what he expected, or wanted. Especially now. Adjusting to his new home and...family?....was still overwhelming, and he felt like a burden. Clay and Matt and Lainie could reassure him all they wanted, but the fact remained that he was an outsider who had run out of chances and had come to the end of the rule book. On top of all of that, trying to kick heroin once and for all was going to be a struggle, he knew that. There were so many open wounds that needed to be sewn closed, it was difficult to know where to start. Having Jess in his life, returning to the way they had been, would go a long way in stitching some of them shut and applying a bandage. But even then, that was a wound - a large, gaping one, because of what he had allowed to happen that night with Bryce. He _needed_ her, as much as he had needed the drugs. If he didn't, then he wouldn't have let her straddle him and unzip his pants, and pull out....

But maybe she was right.

Maybe this wasn't the right time. Maybe there wasn't _ever_ going to be a right time again. And if that was the case, then what?

Or....

He could heal himself, first. Make up for his mistakes, or try to. Become...not the person he was before, no. That wouldn't be right. He had to change. He was done doing fucked up things, like he had told Clay. So, instead, he could own up to yet another terrible one, and try to make it right with Alex, for his sake as well as this little group of theirs that had started, slowly, to gel.

Sighing, he leaned back in his chair and ran his hands down and over his face.

"Shit."

Times and circumstances like this would have been the perfect excuse to shoot up, get that warm feeling of safety, and forget. But he couldn't do that, not anymore. He had promised, and it was a promise he intended to keep. All the tension and doubt would just have to settle for the rest of the evening and it would bubble up to the surface the next day. Fine.

Or....

He picked the phone back up and scrolled through his contacts until he found the right name.

**Justin:** _Hey. Could use a little stress relief. Wanna fuck?_

The reply came back after a couple of minutes, and some quick arrangements were made as he walked back inside. "Hey...I need to borrow the car....I need to go do something real quick."

Clay looked up from his place at the kitchen table. "What do you need to do?"

"Don't worry about it, I won't be gone long."

"Justin, we have work to do!"

"And we'll do it when I get back, okay? I just need to go do this."

"Justin..."

"Clay, please? I'm not gonna do anything stupid. Promise."

"Fine," Clay sighed. "The keys are hung up by the front door. Not forever, okay? You have a lot to do."

"I know. I'll be back soon!" Justin grinned as he walked out to the hall.

 

* * *

 

 

**Tuesday, April 24**

 

"Dude, you're like....super happy this morning. And it can't be because Dad made pancakes. You were all giddy last night, too."

Justin looked out the passenger window on their drive to school. "So? I can't be happy?"

"No," Clay replied. "Well...yes. You can. But this is, like, the happiest I've seen you since you've been with us? What's up?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm just in a good mood."

"You didn't....do anything while you were gone. Did you?"

"Clay." Justin turned and saw a skeptical look on his foster brother's face. "If you're asking me if I got drugs, the answer is no. C'mon man. You've got to trust me on that one."

"Uh huh. Like you've given me reason to do that."

"Wow! Really, Jensen? Fuck you, too!"

"All right, all right....you're right, I'm sorry. That was a dick thing to say."

"Yeah it was!"

"Okay, okay....I said I was sorry. I'm just in a weird mood. You see how many times my post was shared?"

"No."

"Well, it was a lot."

"Good for you." Justin turned back to look out the window.

"Justin...hey, look, I said I was sorry. It's just....you haven't..."

"Yeah," Justin sighed, "I get it. It's fine."

"Justin-"

"I said it was fine. Sorry I called you 'Jensen' again."

"Dammit," Clay muttered under his breath. "Look. I know I suck at this right now, this being brothers thing. I'm trying. Okay? I really, really want this to work. I think I've been patient with you, or I've tried to. Kinda. Just....be patient with me, too. Please."

Justin nodded in reply.

"I really am sorry." Clay gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, as he could feel a tremor or two in his hands. There it was again, the shaking.

"I'm just happy is all. But I probably shouldn't be."

Clay pulled into a spot and put the car in park. "Why not?"

"Because. Jess and I are going to talk to Alex today."

Closing his eyes and sighing, Clay turned off the car.

"This is really going to be one of those days, isn't it?" he asked while opening the door.

"Yeah. Hey, who knows? Maybe it'll turn out fine."

"Listen," Clay replied, taking his book bag from the back seat and closing the rear driver's side door, "if there's one thing I've learned the last few months, it's not to assume that things will turn out to be fine."

"But maybe this time though. Right?"

"Maybe. Doubtful, but maybe. Hey. I shouldn't have said that. In the car. You didn't deserve that. I want to trust you, I really do, and I'm really trying. I guess I'm still upset from the weekend is all."

Justin pulled his own bag over his shoulder and walked around to Clay's side of the car. "Nah, forget it. That'll be fine, too. You and me. It was a fucked up weekend, but that's done with. We're gonna be okay."

"Let's hope so. You gonna tell me why you're so happy? I mean...you were like, all relaxed."

"You really wanna know?"

"Kinda?"

Justin smirked and looked down as they walked towards the school. "I went and got laid."

"You...what?"

"Got laid. Had sex. Fucked? Did the deed, bumped uglies?"

"Justin....wait. Oh my God. Did...you didn't go back by Jess? Did you?"

"What? Fuck no. I think her dad would shoot me on sight."

"That's probably a good thing. Wait, that came out wrong....not that he'd shoot you! No, I mean, that you didn't with Jess. Again. But, then...who did you....you know, never mind, I don't think I want to know."

"You sure? I've got some contacts, man. They've got friends. We could hook you up," he looked over and grinned.

"Jesus, Justin!"

"You know, I could talk to Sheri if you want."

"Th-that's...no, you don't....I can talk. Her. Talk to her. With her. Yes. Like, a person. Words. I have them."

"Clay," Justin laughed as he put an arm around his roommate, "you are something else, you know that? It's obvious you like her. Dude, talk to her! Ask her out!"

"I...that's....should I? I mean, I guess I could," Clay gulped.

"Just do it, man! C'mon, go for it!"

"Oh. Shit." Clay stopped walking.

"What?"

"Well....two things here, one is a realization I just had. So, a) Bolan. He's at the door with Singh. I get the feeling they're not here to hand out cookies. And, b) please tell me you didn't have sex in my car!"

"Nah, not enough room in the back seat."

"Oh, thank God. Well, that's one sort of crisis resolved. Now for Bolan."

"Listen," Justin turned to Clay, "you got this. Okay? Don't take any crap from him. Text me and let me know how it goes, and I'll see you third period."

Clay nodded as they walked to the front entrance. "When do you plan on talking to Alex?"

"As soon as I find Jess."

"Great. Well...let's get this day over with...."

 

* * *

 

"So, Mr. Jensen," Gary Bolan started as he sat back in his chair. "You seem to have forgotten our conversation yesterday and the terms we agreed to. Shall I refresh your memory?"

Clay sat next to Priya Singh, arms crossed. "No, that won't be necessary. I remember them just fine."

"Then how do you explain your most recent transgression?"

"Which transgression would you be referring to this time?"

As Bolan was about to reply, Miss Singh, having seen the shade of red her principal was turning, interjected. "Clay, we asked you not to talk about what happened Saturday night."

"Actually, Miss Singh, didn't you and Principal Bolan say not to talk about it in school?"

"Well...yes."

"And did I talk about it in school?" Clay turned his head back to look at Bolan, who had narrowed his eyes.

"Semantics, Mr. Jensen."

"No, you said not to talk about it at school, which I did not. You said nothing about exercising my rights of free speech and making a post on my social media. Now, according to the student handbook and the code of conduct, I didn't violate or break any policies. My post did not disparage the school in any way, nor did I insult or threaten anyone. Did I?"

Bolan shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Well...no...but..."

"There we are then. So, may I ask why exactly am I in front of you again, two mornings in a row?"

"Mr. Jensen....I suggest you not try and test me or my resolve, is that understood? What I said to you yesterday still applies. You will _not_ discuss the events of April 21, neither will any other student. Further, your posts on social media should not paint Liberty High in a negative light. Is that also understood? Further posts such as that one will result in several days worth of detention, young man."

"Noted. May I go to class now?"

"Yes. Go. And tread very carefully, Mr. Jensen."

As he walked down the hall to his first period, a smug look of satisfaction came over Clay's face.

If he had seen Montgomery de la Cruz glaring at him from behind, then perhaps he would have had a different expression.

"Soon, Jensen," Monty whispered. "Soon. Fucker."

 

_To be continued...._

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers!
> 
> It's time...pardon the pun...to return to "Times Past" and look at the events that transpired in the lead up to "A Maze of Moments Book One!" So what we have is the first of a planned four chapters that will explore the continued aftermath of the Spring Fling, and this sets the stage quite nicely, no? 
> 
> There's going to be *a lot* to cover here, including Clay talking it out with Tony and Zach, Scott becoming a part of the Scooby Gang....oh, and yeah, Justin and Jess confessing to Alex.
> 
> Oh, did you like our little glimpse into the future? I don't think that's too overly spoiler-ish. Sort of. Kinda! But it was too good of an idea to pass up!
> 
> Anyway, much more to come with this one, and it's going to get intense! As our intro song indicates....here comes trouble!
> 
> As ever, I appreciate your kudos, comments and feedback, and I look forward to hearing what you thought about this one. Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return soon! Thank you so much for reading!


	11. Truths and Consequences, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an eventful Tuesday continues to unfold. Here comes trouble....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some hopping about in this chapter, with another flashforward, and then back to Justin's adoption party via Maze One, Chapter twenty-five.

 

 

_Oh, here comes trouble_  
_These people talk too much, need to shut 'em up_  
_Yeah, I'd rather be alone_  
_Can you, can you feel that rumble?_  
_All this borrowed time, it's been running out_  
_It's the ending of the show_

 -from "Trouble," by TV On The Radio

 

 

 

**Tuesday, October 19, 2038**

 

"Stop, stop, stop. Just....stop. Look, the downbeat is still off..."

Justin Jensen listened outside of the door to one of the music rooms, specifically used for jazz, and could hear Alex Standall giving instructions.

It didn't really surprise anyone that Clay had gone into education. His first semester in college he immediately declared an English Literature major and Creative Writing minor, but that didn't quite answer the question of what he was going to do with them. While he wrote and drew comic books with his brother for fun, that was a highly competitive field and one really had to stand out in order to get a job with one of the big two publishers. The independents were another option, but the competition there was even more fierce. He'd considered writing the next great science fiction or fantasy series, but that might take years before he'd get some kind of major recognition, if any. Then, as he worked in the Academic Success Center in his tutoring position one day, just before fall break his freshman year, his supervisor gave him his first job review. "You have the heart of a teacher," she said, "and you're really amazing at this. Keep it up and you'll be on permanent staff in no time, we always need full time tutors."

That did it. One trip to the College of Education and discussions with some advisors later, and he added a program of study in Secondary Education. He quickly established a reputation as a popular teacher and cross country coach. Firm, but fair. Engaging and passionate. Easy to talk to about....well, anything really, when it came right down to it. He had an open door policy, and any student who wanted to speak to him in confidence about anything bothering or concerning them was always welcome to do so. He kept a lot of information on hand about mental and emotional health, resources that he could share. And, if he did not have or could not have an answer, he knew exactly who to turn to, as unlikely as that would have seemed twenty years earlier.

For Justin, the path was a little different; and yet, his road would wind up taking him to the same place. Two years of Junior College to improve his overall grade point average and knock out some general education coursework to boot, then join his brother to major in....what, exactly? All he knew is that he wanted to find a career where he could help in some way, serve as an example. At first it was Social Work, and while he enjoyed the classes and learned a lot, it just did not seem fulfilling. Something was missing. A couple of conversations with his advisor, parents, and brother later, and he took the first education class geared towards Guidance and Counseling....and he was hooked. Unlike Clay, who was content to stop with his Master's in Education, Justin would keep going. It wasn't easy, coaching basketball and being the freshman class guidance counselor, then working on his own Master's and then a Doctorate, but he had done it. Further, he gradually moved up through the ranks until he became head of the department. He coached the varsity team and was responsible for roughly a third of the senior class, in addition to any student who wanted a walk-in, regardless of what year they were in school, on top of all of his administrative duties - but he found that fulfillment he sought. More than that, he had an opportunity every day to reach out and help others as a way to make up for his own past mistakes and share his life experience. Students really liked him, how approachable he was, and how he could relate to them.

"Dr. J," a senior told him on a graduation day, "you are relatable as fuck and that's what makes you awesome."

Twenty years did little to change how high school students described people, places, and things.

And then there was Alex Standall.

His path into education was the least likely of all, and it took him a little longer to conclude that maybe this was what he was meant to do. A degree in Music Performance with a minor in business, a couple of years playing with smaller bands on the side while working full time and trying to find that big break, then a long talk with his family and friends - especially Justin and Zach -  and a return to college. Two years for a second degree in Music Education and then two more for a Master's of Music in Conducting/Teacher Leader, and here he was.

It was pure luck that the three of them had all wound up back at Liberty High. Justin was first, while Clay taught two years in the neighboring district, and then once Alex had completed his degrees a generous donation by a former student helped revive the Jazz Band and the associated coursework. Together, the three formed a sort of team, an adult extension of the Deranged Overprotective Scooby Gang, to work with students in crisis. He was also a popular teacher, as the students appreciated his dry wit and snark. His temper though?

Well....

"....swear to God, if you don't stop pretending you're giving oral sex to the saxophone, I'm going to shove it so far up your..."

Justin's eyes widened and he turned to enter the room quickly, knocking on the opened door. "Hey everyone...Mr. Standall....hope I'm not interrupting anything?" he said loudly, shooting a glance and a nod at his friend.

A frustrated looking Alex stopped in mid-sentence and turned to face their visitor. "Doctor Jensen. No, not especially....just trying to get 'A Night in Tunisia' down for the performance next week. And getting across the importance of _not simulating oral sex on the instruments."_ He stopped to glare at the offending student. " So far up your...."

Justin interrupted again. "Well! You guys sound really good so far....and Jackson, don't pretend to do that, the good people of the county and our donors wouldn't appreciate it if the equipment they so graciously paid for was used that way."

"Sorry, Dr. J....Mr. Standall," the chagrined sophomore blushed.

"That's better. Well, I can't wait to hear your concert next week. Mr. Standall, mind if I borrow you for a couple of minutes?"

Alex nodded. "Take five, everyone. And Jackson...I mean it. So far. Like, way far. Like, you'll be a walking sax."

"Let's....go out into the hall," Justin shook his head as his friend and colleague walked over, limp only slightly noticeable, and joined him outside the classroom.

"Dude...come on, you shouldn't say that to the kids."

"If he wants to practice giving head let him go to the cafeteria and do it on a banana!"

"A banana?"

"Yeah. A banana."

"Why would he...?"

"How do you think I lear-"

"Okay! Thank you for that, now I'll have that image in my head from our wayward youth for the rest of the day, and it's one I could've done without!"

Alex smirked. "Anything to lighten up your day. What's up?"

"The note you left for me this morning. This Riley kid, Clay has him next period and he's going to try and find out what's going on, but I thought you might know something also."

Alex nodded. "Word gets around, even here with us frustrated musicians. Apparently it's girl problems."

"That all? And he went and made a post about it? We probably handle a dozen of those every week-"

"As in, boyfriend-girlfriend-friend-of-boyfriend-who-slept-with-girlfriend problems."

Sighing, Justin brought a hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why am I getting the sensation of déjà vu?"

"Told you it was going to sound familiar."

"You were right. I get the feeling I'll be talking to him before the day is over. Tell me again why I signed up for this?"

"I don't know, you tell me why you and Clay and the Gang convinced me to go into teaching."

"Because you love music and you wanted to share it with others. Or, we were high that day, one of the two. And we don't do that, so let's go with the first answer. Anyway. He sounds like a good kid from what I've been able to find out, I just want to know what I might be in for. If he wants to come to me today, I'd like you to be there....is that all right with you?"

"Yeah, sure. Be glad to."

Thanks, Alex."

"Anytime. Gotta prevent this generation from making the same mistakes we did in our wayward youth. Speaking of that...I mean it, Justin...so far up his..."

"Yes. I get it. Threaten him with detention instead though, okay?"

"There you are! Are you trying to avoid returning those phone calls?" Leslie, Justin's administrative assistant, had come down the hall and joined the long time friends. "Mr. Standall, I really need him back."

"She keeps me on a short leash. Talk to you later?"

"Sure thing. He's all yours, Leslie."

As Alex returned to his classroom, Justin walked back down the hall and was handed a folio. "You've got all of these to sign also," Leslie instructed.

"Are you sure we've only got decaf today...?"

 

* * *

 

**Tuesday, April 24, 2018**

 

While Clay was escorted to Bolan's office for the second morning in a row, Justin made his way to his locker. 

Head nodding some greetings to a few fellow students as he walked the hall, the conversations he had had, one via text with Jess and one with his foster brother, ran through his head. On the one hand, Jess was right: Alex was going to have to be told, sooner or later - and hopefully sooner - if they were all going to maintain some semblance of friendship, and if Clay's idea that they stick together as a group was going to work. But, on the other hand....what if they didn't tell Alex? What if they just kept their indiscretion to themselves, and never speak of it again? Only three people knew, there was no need to confide in any one else, so why not just leave it at that? Then, Alex and Jess' relationship would play out, maybe to some kind of natural conclusion, and then he would be there to...

No.

That wouldn't be right. That would be shitty. That would be something he would have done before he had ran away and taken to the streets instead of facing his challenges and fears. In fact, he _had_ basically done that once already, when the prequel to the Scooby Gang, 'FML,' had broken up, and while he wasn't completely responsible for that, he was one of a myriad of reasons for it. Further, there was another major complication: Alex was his friend, one of the few who was willing to open up his home to him. Hell, the kid had saved his fucking life for crying out loud.

Sighing as he stopped in front of his locker and spinning the tumbler on his lock, Justin concluded that he was going to have to own up to this and whatever consequences might come from it. But, maybe what he had said out in the parking lot was right, maybe everything would turn out to be all right in the end.

Maybe.

"And maybe I'll grow as tall as Zach," he muttered to himself.

Swapping out some textbooks and closing his locker, he turned and leaned back, pulling out his phone, and started to text:

 

**Justin:** _hey_

**Jess:** _hi_

**Justin:** _you here yet?_

**Jess:** _yeah...Alex and I are in the cafe_

**Justin:** _oh ok....want me to come there and we can all talk?_

**Justin:** _no?_ **  
**

**Justin:** _do you not wanna do this?_ **  
**

**Jess:** _not right now....he's happy, you know? later. lunch maybe?_

**Justin:** _ok..._

**Jess:** _god I'm not looking forward to this...._

**Justin:** _me neither_

**Jess:** _see you later_

**Justin:** _ok_

 

Sighing, Justin put his phone in his pocket and started to walk to his first period class. This was not going to be easy. As he walked down the hall to his classroom, he began to think about what Clay had posted on social media the night before. "My Truth," he called it, and it was a raw and open explanation of why he took the actions he did Saturday night, consequences be damned, and how it was his hope that every student would start to step up. Easier said than done.

And yet...

Maybe, just maybe, he could tell some truths of his own. As far as everyone knew, he was clean and sober when he was released from juvie, and neither he nor Clay had brought up the second half of the weekend's events with anyone. So, maybe _that_ was the place to start. Be frank and admit that he had shot up Thursday night and Saturday morning, that he had resolved to quit once and for all Sunday morning, that he and Clay had had it out, more than once, and that he had turned a page and was not only starting a new chapter in his life, he was going to write a whole new book. Maybe in that context, then, admitting to Alex what had happened wouldn't be quite as bad and it would go smoother, that it would be another turn in their maze of friendship, another moment, and everything would be okay.

Maybe. Just possibly, maybe.

"Everything's gonna be okay," he said to himself as he entered his classroom.

 

* * *

 

Second period having ended, Clay was making his way to Earth Science, and a couple of funny things happened on the way. For one, he was greeted with smiles by several students, or had heads nodded in his direction. A few even called him by name and said hi. Apparently his post across social media had a some kind of a positive impact. It had been shared and re-tweeted numerous times, so the audience reach was significant. True, there were still a few who whispered to friends and classmates as he passed them by, but it was nothing like yesterday.

The second funny thing, although owing to the scare he received didn't seem funny at all in the slightest, happened as he breathed a happy sigh of relief that his words been meaningful and he was taken by surprise as someone came up from behind and messed up his hair.

"Jesus!! What the..." he exclaimed and crouched a little, startled, and turned to face a grinning Tony. "Christ, you scared the shit out of me!"

"Clay, relax. I'm just messing with you man."

Stuffing a shaking left hand into his pocket, Clay straightened back up and, catching his breath, ran his free hand through his hair. "Dude, really? How old are you, twelve?"

"Maybe," Tony shrugged. "Hey, when you have older brothers and they do stuff like that to you growing up, you tend to look for an opportunity to get some payback."

"So? Do it to them, then."

"Nah," he grinned again. "That's what I have my _hermanito_ for."

"Right...well, don't give Justin any ideas. It would be just like him to do that."

"Ah, but see, you're the older one, so you get to do that to him."

"No, somehow I think it'd be the reverse. Anyway, now that you have my attention."

Tony sighed. "Come on, I'll walk with you to your next class. Look," he began as they went down the hall, "I had a long talk with Caleb yesterday and thought a lot about everything that happened. And then I saw your post on Instagram this morning."

"Okay. And?"

"You were right."

Clay stopped and went for his phone. "Hang on, I want to record this."

"Will you come on," Tony laughed, turning to his best friend. "Look. I don't agree with the strategy you took, you know? It could have totally backfired, and I could have been arrested, or God forbid, you could've gotten hurt. And I don't want to see you get hurt, or anyone else for that matter. Even Tyler. But then I read and thought about what you wrote....and you were right, we should look out for each other."

Clay nodded and looked down at his shoes.

"And listen, Clay. I owe you an apology for Sunday and yesterday. I blew you off and reacted the wrong way. Fact is, I was scared shitless Saturday night and that carried over. So....I'm sorry, man."

"Thanks, Tone," Clay replied quietly.

"Just don't do that again, okay? Please? Don't put yourself in a situation where you could get hurt. That would hurt me, and everyone else, this little alliance you've formed."

"I thought we were the Scooby Gang?" A smile crept over Clay and his hand finally stopped shaking.

"Alliance, Scooby Gang, same difference. Anyway. I need to get to class, and so do you. See you at lunch?"

"You bet."

Patting Clay's back, Tony walked in the opposite direction as Clay made it to his classroom. Sitting down next to Justin and pulling out a notebook, he began to give instructions after greeting him. "Okay, so today you're going to take better notes. Write down the key points, and leave a few lines so you can fill in the information. If she draws something, make sure you draw it. Put a little star next to something you missed or don't understan- Justin? Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure little star next to stuff. Got it."

"You okay?"

"How'd it go with Bolan?"

"I'm here, aren't I? Don't change the subject, what's wrong?"

Justin shook his head. "Nothing. So, draw what she does on the board, or what's in the PowerPoint. Got it."

"Look, if this is going to work, us...you've got to let me in Justin. Come on, what's up?"

"I'm just....thinking. About Alex and Jess. And me. How I want to do this. We're going to do this at lunch."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well," Clay said after a moment, "just....like, try not to let it distract you too badly. Okay? You've got a lot to catch up on. So, we can talk about it and worry about it after class."

"We?"

"Yeah. We. Us. As in you and me."

"Clay, this is my problem, not yours."

"It is, and it's a big fucking problem. But, you're going to be my brother, so that makes your problems mine. We're in this _together,_ Justin. Dude...let me help when I can, okay?"

"I don't know if even you can help me clean this one up."

"Hey, we won't know that unless we try, right? If I can help fix it, then I will. Just, like, let us eat first so a food fight doesn't break out. Then say what you need to say."

As their teacher walked in and began to boot up the computer, Clay thought and turned to Justin.

"Would you get mad if I, like, messed up your hair?"

"The fuck...?"

"Hypothetically. As a brother thing."

Justin thought for a second and grinned. "Try it and find out. Ever gotten the noogies?"

"Noted."

Justin then held out his fist for a bump, which Clay pondered and then returned. Their first fist bump.

 

* * *

 

Walking out of class, Clay adjusted his backpack and turned his head to look at Justin as they went down the hall.

"Look. There's no easy way for this to play out, you know? He's going to be upset regardless. Probably really pissed."

"If this is your idea of a pep talk, it sucks. Please don't go into coaching."

"Let me finish," Clay rolled his eyes. "And why on earth would I ever consider going into coaching? Anyway. If there's any potential good news in this, it's that you're not wanting to hide it or keep it secret. It happened, it happened recently, and you're owning up to it. That might go a long way with him."

Justin nodded. "I'm thinking about telling them about the heroin. Just, like, let it all out on the table and 'fess up to everything. I feel like I...I _need_ to do that. You know?"

"Well, I think that would be a pretty brave thing to do. But don't be surprised if they're upset about that also."

"I figured. God, this sucks so bad."

"How're you feeling, by the way?"

Justin shrugged. "I mean, my stomach hurts a little on and off. The medicine helps. I'm not as achy today."

"Good. That's really good. I'm glad you're feeling a little better."

As they walked, Clay thought carefully before asking his next question. "So....why did you go see whomever it was yesterday?"

"I like sex."

"Yeah, that much I gathered. But you've been all upset about this Jessica thing, so it seems a little odd you'd want to go and do that."

Sighing Justin stopped and looked at Clay. "So I love to fuck. Okay? And when I do, it makes me feel....I dunno. Wanted. Loved, in a way."

"Aren't there healthier ways to get that?"

"I wear protection! Jesus, Clay."

"No," Clay shook his head, "I don't mean that. But, thank you for at least being safe. No, what I mean is, it just seems, based on what you just said, that you're using sex as a substitute for something else in your life. Like, it's taking the place of something you don't have or didn't have, or whatever. Do you think it has something to do with your addiction? Remember, I told you I want you to feel safe with us, so maybe you wouldn't have to do that as often. Not that I'm trying to tell you not to ever have sex! But like, you think it's taking the place of something else? And maybe it's....what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Dude. That is _way_ too much for me to think about today on top of everything else, okay?"

"Oh."

"Yeah. Let's talk about me and sex another time, okay? I can even give you a few pointers," Justin winked.

"The day I ask Justin Foley for sex advice is the day I know we've really become brothers."

 

* * *

 

She sat at the table. And waited.

If Justin Foley was wondering and worried about how this was all going to play out, then Jessica Davis was doubly worried. She was as much to blame in this as he was, both made a serious error in judgement. Making her feel even worse was how happy Alex was that she had returned to school and met up with him earlier that morning for breakfast in the cafeteria. The smile never seemed to leave his face, while hers was forced.

It's not that their relationship was perfect, far from it. While she never doubted his sincerity, there were times that he almost seemed to be trying too hard, as if he was hiding something. Maybe it was just an aftereffect of his own injuries and she was reading too much into it, but there were moments when they spent time together, even before the Spring Fling, that something just seemed off.

She did care for him deeply as a friend, and wanted that friendship to continue to grow. The time they spent sniping at one another, after Hannah's death and when she was with Justin, was painful for so many reasons. Just when it seemed they had put that aside and that maybe they could have a relationship....Justin comes back.

There were so many unresolved feelings between the two of them, and just as much as she cared for Alex, she cared for Justin as well. Maybe more than cared. She knew that he never stopped loving her, not once, and that he really did regret what had happened last fall and wanted to make up for that somehow.

To say that this was a mess was putting it mildly.

"Hey you," Alex smiled as he sat down, Zach right behind with two lunch trays. "How's your day so far?" he asked, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

"It's okay."

"Just okay?"

"I mean....it's school, right? Month left, everyone is over it." She turned and forced a smile in return.

"Tell me about it," Zach agreed as he carefully placed each tray down. "The sooner we all put this behind us the better."

"Yeah," Jess quietly replied, opening a yogurt.

Clay, Justin and Tony came over and joined their friends.

"Zach. Didn't you have something that you wanted to say to Clay?" Alex prodded.

"Uh...yeah. So. I'm...sorry I made you feel bad yesterday. I didn't mean it. I was just upset, you know? And I guess you had a really shitty day and I didn't mean to make it worse. So...sorry, man."

"Wait, hold up," Tony interrupted. "Dempsey....you, too?"

"You mean...did you..."

"Well now I feel like shit."

"Dude, same."

"Guys," Clay laughed, "it's fine. Really. I get it. This weekend, it was..."

"Fucked up?" Alex finished.

"Very," Justin muttered under his breath.

"Well...I wouldn't have put it in quite those words, but....no, never mind, yeah...it was very fucked up."

"I saw your post last night," Zach said.

"We all did. That was really brave of you, Clay," Jess added.

"Thanks, guys. Really. I'm sorry if I worried you all, that wasn't my intention."

"You did a good job pretending to do that then," Sheri smiled as she came to the table and sat down.

"Ummm...hi, Clay. Sheri! I mean, Sheri. Hi. I'm Clay. You're....Sheri."

"Yes. Yes, I am."

The rest of the group exchanged looks and grinned, as Clay was suddenly fascinated by his french fries, his face as red of the ketchup he was dipping them in, while Ryan and Courtney came over with their trays. "Young Clay," Ryan smirked, "you look like you've just seen a wounded wildebeest. Now, what on earth could possibly be causing this?"

Clay looked up. "A wounded....what?"

"Hey guys, room for one more?" Cyrus had now come over. "What's up? Everyone talking about Clay Jensen kicking this school's ass on social media?"

"Cyrus..."

"I mean, a lot of people are talking about it," Zach added before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"See? No doubt you're the biggest badass at this place," Cyrus grinned as he sat down. "Ladies, good to see you. Tony, appreciate the leather as always. Justin, Zach." Turning to Alex, he smiled shyly. "Hi...'Lex."

"Um...hi?"

The rest of lunch passed with idle chatting, Clay getting a little flustered and stumbling over his words when Sheri directed conversation in his direction, much to the amusement of their friends. Only Jess and Justin had little to say.

Well.

Now or never, Justin thought.

"So...I....I need to tell you all something. Some things. And before I do, I just wanna say, I...don't want you all to hate me, because I feel like shit about all of it. And Alex?"

Alex looked up, confused.

"Man....I'm _so_ sorry...."

 

* * *

  

**Thursday Evening, June 21, 2018**

 

Justin looked out in the yard as Alex laughed at something Cyrus had said to him, and then discretely brushed his fingers over his boyfriend's hand.

"You okay?"

"Clay? Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"

"Who? Alex?"

"Yeah."

"I mean....he kind has, hasn't he? He's here with us, we're all friends."

"No, I know. It's just...he's never said it. Those words. God, that was the worst day, you know? I still feel so fucking bad about it."

"Hey, none of that. Come on, this is a celebration _Jensen_. And for your information, that wasn't the worst day."

"Oh? Then what was?"

Clay sighed and held up his right hand and turned it, palm facing him, so that the scars were visible to his newly minted adopted brother.

"This was," he said sadly.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back!!
> 
> Summer is here, and that means all kinds of Mazeverse goodness is coming your way! Lots and lots of things to come! First up, the next chapter of "Truths and Consequences," as Justin is ready to own up to his heroin use and his indiscretion - to put it mildly! - with Jessica. 
> 
> Did you notice a couple of Easter eggs in this one? We had Clay's first fist bump as bros with Justin, which they did a few times in the original story. Then, there was some playful teasing and prodding via Tony and maybe yet another seed planted as to exactly who is the big brother and who is the little brother with our heroes. And Clay's line about asking Justin for sex advice? Well, remember the night before Prom? There's even a hint at the end about what a future chapter in this story will be all about.
> 
> Ah, and then the flashforward! I'm having a LOT of fun with that, and as you see, I've figured out a way to tie it in to these chapters nicely! 
> 
> Anywho, sorry about the delay here, but the semester was wrapping up. We still have plenty to go in this story and it's companion "This Time," and...drum roll please....
> 
> A Maze of Moments Book Two is on its way!! As in, very soon!!! Be on the lookout!!!
> 
> As ever, I appreciate your kudos, comments and feedback. I look forward to reading what you thought of this chapter. Don't forget I'm over at Tumblr if you want to chat, and don't forget to hit the subscribe button as the YouTubers say!
> 
> Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return very soon! Thank you for reading and take care!


	12. Truths and Consequences, Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Justin confesses to Alex, and takes the blame for it all....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a specific warning per se, but references to events as depicted in "13 Reasons Why," specifically Justin's overdose and Alex's suicide attempt.

 

 

 

_Oh, I've changed my number_  
_Wore disguises and went undercover just to_  
_Just to hide away from you_  
_Oh, my ghost came a-calling_  
_Making noises 'bout a promise I had broken_  
_Oh, I'm gonna be lonely soon_

 - from "Trouble," by TV on the Radio

 

 

**Tuesday, October 19, 2038**

"Yes. Yes, I understand that, but....right, but I think he should stay in the geometry class. Right."

Justin Jensen was on the phone with a somewhat insistent parent, while standing next to him Leslie, his administrative assistant, pushed yet another piece of paper in front of him to sign. He pushed it back and aside as he continued the conversation.

"Well, I'm sure he's good with sharp objects, yes, but that really isn't a good enough reason to transfer out of geometry and into shop. Mrs. Hagan.....because he's in the college level prep one program, right. No, I don't think UCLA really is all that interested in excelling at shop, not really."

A little frustrated, Leslie pushed the paper back in front of him.

"Right. Well, I'm glad you see it my way then. Okay. Maybe as an elective next semester. Okay. Okay. Sure thing. Anytime, Mrs. Hagan, thanks for the chat...you too, bye now."

Hanging up the phone, he turned to Leslie and gestured at the paper requiring his signature, just as Clay came into Justin's office.

"What the hell is this, and why do I care?"

"Just sign the damn thing already..."

"Why is it so important that I sign it right now, and when I'm on the phone no less?"

"It's your expense report from when you went to Sacramento for the conference last week and it needs to go to the county _today_. Now, unless you don't _want_ to be reimbursed..."

Justin blinked and picked up a pen. "Oh."

"Am I interrupting anything?" Clay asked, eating a cookie from the jar on Leslie's desk.

"Just me signing my life away," Justin replied as he signed the report. "And convincing a parent that her son needs to stay in geometry, in spite of the fact that he's apparently pretty good with sharp tools."

"We're getting caught up on paperwork, Mr. Jensen, which Doctor Jensen has been neglecting for the last two school days, on top of the phone calls he needs to keep returning."

"I'm returning them! Give us the office for a minute."

"You have another stack of student files that need review and..."

"Five minutes."

"Fine," Leslie raised her hands in defeat. "But come Friday and you're stuck in here all afternoon before the game, don't come complaining to me," she said with a smirk as she walked out from behind Justin's desk and past Clay. "Did you ask if you could have a cookie, Mr. Jensen?"

Clay shifted his eyes. "No...may I have a cookie?"

"Of course you may," she smiled.

"She guards the cookies religiously. Count yourself lucky, there's a lot of students who don't even get to have one."

"Five minutes, we've got a lot to clear out today if you want the rest of the week to go smoothly. Oh, and the Superintendent's office called back, that meeting has to be pushed to next week. Don't shoot the messenger," Leslie said, going to the outer office.

"Oh, why the hell not?" Justin muttered.

"Hey now, be nice. Sometimes I think she's the one that really runs this department and not you."

"Because she really does run this department, I'm just the window dressing."

"Sharp objects, huh? Should we be worried?"

"No, I don't think so, sounds like the kid likes to use tools is all. Anyway. What's up?"

"So, our young friend Riley," Clay explained, taking off his glasses and putting them in his shirt pocket as he sat in one of the chairs in front of Justin's desk. "I talked to him after class, and he's pretty upset. I did what I could and he's calmed down some. I did recommend that he come see you, that it would be a good idea to do so. I didn't tell him _why_ mind you. But he'll be here after classes.

"Yeah," Justin replied with a sigh, "I sort of figured that's where this would be going today. I talked to Alex, he's going to be in on it also."

"Good idea. You want me to join?"

"Nah. I think between the two of us we can handle it. Thanks, though." Justin leaned back in his chair a little. "You ever think we'd be dealing with the _exact_ things we all encountered at their age? Like, the same things we all did and went through...minus the more horrific stuff of course."

_" Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, _ as they say. Kids are kids. The difference is, these kids have a lot better support than we did when we were students here. And a better English teacher."

"It's a struggle to remain humble. Well...it got better senior year as I recall. And we did take quite a bit into our own hands. Hey, for all we know, they have a bunch of little Scooby Gangs."

"True. You know, it would be pretty amazing if they di-"

Leslie interrupted Clay's sentence as she come into the doorway. "Excuse me, I'm sorry, Mrs. Jensen on line one, says it's important."

"Which one?" Justin asked. "My Mrs. Jensen, his Mrs. Jensen, or our mother Mrs. Jensen?"

"Oh, right...your Mrs. Jensen," she clarified before walking back to the outer office.

Nodding, Justin picked up the phone and pushed a button. "Gimmie a sec, bro. Hi, hon. No, I can't, I've got meetings and then right to practice, why? No, Dad has night class on Tuesdays, he can't either....wait, Clay is here, hang on..." Covering the mouthpiece of the receiver, he looked up at Clay. "Jess and Mom are tied up in court, that case they've been on is about ready to go to the jury. Think you could pick up Matt from school and you all babysit until I'm done with practice? Oh, wait, you have practice too, don't you..."

"Sure, no problem, I canceled practice today because we did so well at the last meet, that's what I needed to talk to the other coaches about. He can hang out with Jeff, finish that massive Legos thing they were working on last weekend."

Justin took his hand away. "Clay said he can pick up Matty." After hearing what Jessica Jensen said, he grinned and looked back up. "Jess says thank you, she loves you, and that you're an amazing uncle and brother."

"Well, we knew _that_."

"Okay, talk to you tonight. Right, I'll let his school know. Love you too. Bye." Justin hung up the phone. "Thanks, bro. I'll get Little JJ one day next week and he can hang out with his awesome uncle, make it up to you."

"No worries. I'll try not to let them have too much sugar...wouldn't want to send my nephew back to you all amped up, and Sheri would kill me if I spoiled our sons dinner. I'd better get going," he got up from the chair, "fifth period in a couple of minutes. Hey, any coffee I could snag on the way out?"

"All we have is decaf today."

"Barbarians!" Clay gasped as he turned and walked out.

"Leslie!"

She came back into the office.

"I need to call my son's school and then we'll get back to it. What's next?"

 

* * *

 

**Tuesday, April 24, 2018**

 

 

"......so I'm going to start back up with meetings tomorrow afternoon, and I'll be on the methadone for at least a full year and then we'll see if I need to keep taking it."

Justin Foley had just confessed to the newly christened Deranged Overprotective Scooby Gang that he had been using heroin while in juvenile detention, and had used it twice more since being released into the custody of the Jensens. He left out some details, such as how he was able to obtain the drugs while incarcerated, and the full extent of his argument and explanation with Clay on Sunday. The reaction he was getting was now one of stunned silence.

"C'mon guys....say something. Please."

"Well, I'm still kind of mad, not gonna lie, but you're wanting to get better and stay clean, so that's...good," Clay spoke up.

"I kinda meant them, Clay."

"Oh. Right."

"Justin," Tony sighed, "you've _got_ to get off of this stuff for good. It'll kill you, man."

"No, I....I know."

"I think the important thing here," Zach chimed in, "is that you're owning up to things this time, and not keeping it from the rest of us."

"Zach is right," Alex nodded, "I'm glad you're admitting to it now and not trying to cover anything up. It'd be a little weird if we didn't see you every Wednesday afternoon and not know why."

"Yeah. About that....Alex, like I said...I'm so, so sorry man..." Justin hesitated before continuing.

"You said that a couple of minutes ago. What are you sorry for? It's an addiction, Justin, that's not easy to overco-"

Justin interrupted and shook his head. "No. Not about that. There's....something else." He exchanged looks with Jess, who sighed and closed her eyes for a second. "Something else happened. Saturday night."

"What?"

"Alex," Jess started, "on Saturday night....when I went to the bathroom...before, I went to the bathroom. I...Justin and I....we..."

"I asked Jess to have sex with me. And we did. It was my fault, I...I suggested it." Justin finished.

"Justin..."

"Wait, what?" Alex asked.

"She....she found me in the wrestling room....and I guess I was, fuck I don't know....I was still high, and I wasn't thinking right, and...."

"Justin, wait. Alex..." Jess tried again.

"This...this is some kind of a stupid joke. Right?"

He looked at Jess, hopefully. "Right?" he asked again.

"It's all my fault. Mine. I was high, like I said. Alex...I'm so, so sorry."

Alex's mouth went totally dry as he sat back and processed what he had just been told. "Did...did you force yourself on her?" he asked quietly.

"No! God, no! It...but, it was entirely my fault, Jess....Jess isn't to blame, this was all me."

"So....what? You just _let_ him then?" Alex turned back to Jess.

"No, Alex...it...we both are to blame here, it's..."

Jess was interrupted again, but this time by Alex, who shook his head and chuckled. "Holy shit...the two of you aren't kidding, are you?" And then started to laugh. The rest of the Gang exchanged worried looks as he sat back in his seat and continued to laugh. "This...this is too much. Like, way too fucking much. You...you did it to me again!" Looking up at the ceiling of the cafeteria he sighed and shook his head before lowering his head and looking Justin in the eye.

Alex was no longer laughing. He was scowling. And had turned red with fury.

"You fucking did it to me again."

"Alex..."

"Alex," Clay interjected, "Justin....he was high, he didn't...he didn't..."

"Know what he was doing? Oh, he knew perfectly well what he was doing, Clay. _Exactly_ what he was doing, don't defend him. See, let me tell you something about your new brother over there. Justin Foley thinks about and cares about only one person, and that's _himself_. Getting high, getting laid, it makes no difference to him who it hurts. He _uses_ people, don't you, asshole? Just like his buddies, Bryce and Monty. All fuckboy jock assholes. You think he's going to change because he's living with you now? Well, you'd better get ready to be disappointed, because this is who Justin is!"

"Alex, dude," Zach put his hand on his friends arm, but it was wrenched away.

"No, Zach, tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm wrong! You were around them, just as much as I was! He doesn't give a _shit_ about anyone else or anything else, all he cares about is what's best for Justin fucking Foley. So, Clay? That's your brother! I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, because he'll probably fuck you over, too! You'd better hope you never get hurt or get in trouble or anything, because he won't give a shit!"

Now Ryan tried. "Alex...take a deep breath, try to...."

"Shut up, Ryan!" He turned back to look at Justin. "I should have let you fucking die on Clay's bed."

"Whoa, what?" Cyrus asked. "'Lex...that's..."

"Oh yeah, don't you all know? I found him on Clay's bed one afternoon...he'd OD'd. I had to pull the needle out of his arm and then roll him over so he didn't choke on his own puke. I should've let you fucking die!"

"Alex, c'mon...calm down," Zach tried again.

"And you!" he now turned to Jess. "You fucking _let_ this happen? What, you couldn't say no?"

"Alex....Alex, that's not...it's not..."

"Not what? What?!"

"We...we both...I'm as much to blame as Justin is, more than Justin, we..."

"What, now you're going to try and defend him? How could you do this, after everything that's happened? Everything we all went through? No, you know what? I don't fucking care what your reasons were. Save them, and any of your fucking excuses! Gee, I'm sorry I can't walk right or use my hand right, but did you have to go back to _him_?!"

"Alex, please," Justin spoke up, "don't be mad at her, it..."

"Shut up! Shut! Up! God, Justin! You took her from me _again_ _!"_

"No...no, it's not like that....Alex, you're my friend, I..."

"If you're my friend, then where the fuck were you when I shot myself?! I fucking called you! You never picked up! You ran away, and I needed you, and _you weren't there!_ Because, just like always, all you did was think about _yourself_ and nobody else! Fuck you, Justin!"

The table fell silent, students on either side at other tables or walking by, watching uncomfortably as this was playing out. Finally, Alex slammed his good hand down on the table, hard, and got to his feet unsteadily, grabbing his cane and started to walk off.

"Alex...hey, wait, hold up man..." Zach called as he started to stand up.

"No! No, just....just leave me alone. Fucking leave me alone." Looking at Jess, he shook his head sadly.

"I'm so sorry, Alex.." she said quietly.

Alex grit his teeth.

"Bitch."

He turned and walked out of the cafeteria.

 

* * *

 

 

Courtney and Sheri escorted Jess to the restroom, while the rest of the Gang sat at the table quietly as the lunch period started to wind down. Finally Clay sighed and got up from his seat. "I'll...I can go talk to him. I know where he's going."

"I'll come with you," Zach said firmly, shooting an angry and disappointed glance at Justin.

"Listen," Clay leaned over and said to his foster brother. "Keep your head down for the rest of the day. If you need me, text me. I'll meet you after school. Let me try and fix this."

"Clay...maybe...should I come, too?"

"No. Absolutely _not_. You'll....it'll just make it worse. I'll talk to him, okay?"

Justin nodded as Clay and Zach walked off.

Lowering his head, Justin inhaled and let the breath out slowly. "I'm sorry. I...I know I fucked up. Big time. I don't....I don't know what we...what I was thinking."

"I think that's putting it mildly," Ryan said.

"God, Justin," Tony shook his head. "I know you've got all this shit going on, all this on your plate. Hell, we all do. But man...did you have to go and make it worse?"

"Tony," Justin raised his head, "I...I know. It was a mistake-"

"A big fucking mistake," Cyrus interrupted.

"Yeah, I know. And...I know I made a fucked up mess of everything. But...I'm...I want to make it right. All of it. My thing with the drugs, school, now this. I...I need help, guys. I know I do. Look, after what happened Saturday, with Tyler. After that, and seeing a gun pointed at Clay...I think that's when I realized I needed to fix all this shit. He...he was going to take a bullet for me, he jumped right in front of that fucking gun. And I don't know anyone else who would have ever done that for me...not Bryce, not Monty. But he just did it. Guys...I know I'm a fuckup, I get it. But I don't want to be a fuckup anymore, I'm done! I swear to God, I'm done. Just....please. I...I need help." Finishing, he lowered his head again.

Tony ran a hand down and over his face. "Okay. Listen to me, Justin. Here's what we're going to do..."

"We?" Ryan asked.

"Yes. We. We're this little Scooby Doo gang now or whatever, right? None of us are perfect, and we're gonna fuck up from time to time....some of us more than others, maybe. Regardless, if our thing is gonna work, then we work stuff like this out. So. Here's what we'll do. You...Justin, look at me."

Justin looked up sadly.

"You're going to steer clear of Alex for now, until he calms down and we hear from Clay and Zach. You hear me? You don't text him, you don't talk to him, not until we know what his temperature is. Same thing for Jessica."

"But-"

"Same. Thing. For. Jessica. Just...walk away. For now. We can get the other girls to talk with her and see where her head is at and if she's all right. Ryan, you get that to Courtney, have her take charge there."

"Yes sir. Anything else, sir?" he smirked.

"Knock it off, man...not now. Okay. Needless to say, lunch hour is going to be...interesting. Cyrus. You're in charge of that."

"What? Like, I've gotta bring food and shit?"

"No, not bring food! You're in charge of Justin during lunch for a couple of days. Have him join your group."

"They have lunch at a different period, that's why I came..."

"Fine, whatever. Just take him outside on the patio or something. Keep him away from Alex for a few days during this time."

"Yeah. But I gotta say...dude...that really was fucked up, what you all did. 'Lex didn't deserve that. Still. If it helps fix this shit, I'm in."

Justin nodded as the bell rang, signaling the end of the period. As Ryan and Cyrus walked off, Tony pulled Justin aside. "You listen to me. You're running out of second chances, with me, with a whole bunch of people. I believe you when you say you need help and that you want to stop doing this shit, but you need to prove to me you mean it. Got that?"

"Yeah...yeah, I know. Tony...thank you, for helping. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to hurt anyone. Honest to God."

"Fine. Oh, and one more thing."

"What?"

"If I ever find out you hurt Clay in any way...I mean _any_ way, Justin...you will have officially run out of chances for good. And you and I will have more than just words. You got that?"

Justin nodded. Y-yeah. No, I...I would never....not to Clay, no."

"You'd better not. Ever."

 

* * *

 

"Should we be skipping class?" Zach asked Clay as they walked down the hall.

"Dude, it's P.E. They won't miss me. If you need to go, though, it's fine."

"No. This is more important. You're right. I'll work it out with coach later. Where are we going, exactly?"

"The bleachers."

"The bleachers?"

"Yeah. It's kind of become, like, our place. Mine and Alex. We'll meet out there to talk sometimes without other people around."

"Oh. Wait...is that where you all went yesterday?"

"Mhmm."

Zach thought for a moment as they made their way to the double doors leading outside to the athletic fields. "You know...if this is your place with him, maybe I shouldn't be here."

Clay put his hand on the bar to open the door and stopped. "What? No, you absolutely should come. You're his best friend, right? And if I can't get through to him, that's where you come in. Let me talk to him alone first though, okay?"

"Okay. Uh...speaking of yesterday. Clay, what I said to you. I...that...dude, I'm really sorry. I was...."

"Yeah. I get it. Zach, it's fine, really. Okay? I was scared, too. I still am. And Tyler needs help."

Zach nodded. "Yeah. Still. I just can't believe you did that, you know? For all of us? Like...I don't know you all that well and all."

"Well," Clay said as he pushed open the door, "that'll change. I hope. And I'd do it all again."

As he walked outside, Zach stared at the back of Clay in awe before following him out. As they walked across the field, it turned out that Clay surmised correctly. Alex sat on one of the bleachers, head down. As they got a little closer, they could see his body shuddering a little, indicating that he was crying.

"Fuck. Okay, hang out over to the side, keep out of sight but still watching us, you know? I'll give you a signal when I feel it's time for you to come over," Clay instructed.

Working his lower lip, Clay climbed the bleachers and walked over slowly and quietly to Alex and sat down next to him.

"Hey, Alex."

"About time you got out here," Alex sniffed, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. "Sorry I yelled at you in there."

"What? No...hey, you don't have to apologize to me. I understand, really. You....are you okay?"

"What do you think?"

"Yeah...stupid question, my bad."

"Did....did you know?"

Sighing, Clay looked out on the field. "He told me Sunday morning. After we found out he had been using. When I texted you about stuff going on with him, this is what I was referring to."

"Why didn't you tell me!" Alex yelled.

"Alex...with everything going on yesterday....man, that's no excuse, sorry. But, like, how could I have told you? It wasn't my place to tell you, and even if it was, how was I supposed to do that?"

"You're right. Fuck. This isn't your fault. It's his and Jessica's."

Clay thought carefully before continuing. "You have every right to be mad at them. I don't blame you for being angry, I don't think any of us do. But he - _they_ \- made a mistake, Alex. A big one, yeah, but it was a mistake. I can't speak for Jess, but Justin? His head still isn't in the right place I don't think. And I'm not trying to make excuses for him, I'm really not. But he was high. Or if he wasn't, he was coming down from it and the withdrawal symptoms were starting. I really do think he wants to get better, and be a better person, but he can't do that without help. Our help."

"Fuck him."

"Look, he pissed me off, too, with all of this. But remember what I said? We've got to look out for each other, man. It's up to us, no one else will do it."

"Give me one good reason why I should give a shit from here on out about looking out for Justin Foley?"

"Well..."

"Honestly, Clay. Do you really think he's ever going to change? He is who he fucking is, he doesn't care about anybody else. He's a bully. You know he suggested we have you killed?"

"I...wait, what?"

Nodding, Alex turned to his friend. "What, he didn't tell you that? It was during the tapes, everything you were doing. He actually suggested at one point we kill you, that that would be the only way to shut you up and stop you. This is who your future brother is. He'll do whatever it takes to look out for himself, and everyone else be damned!"

"That....I never knew that."

"Doesn't surprise me."

Clay processed what he had just been told before continuing. "I...huh. I'll...I'll have to talk to him about that. But...really, Alex. I don't think he's the same Justin Foley, I think he wants to change. And that means we help him."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"No, I'm not. I..I think underneath the asshole is actually a decent guy. We just need to find him is all."

"No, I think you and Tony should bring him back to Oakland and drop him on whatever street you found him on. Let him die out there for all I care!"

"No, Alex....I don't think we should do that. And deep down, you don't want him to die, anymore than you wanted Tyler to die on Saturday. Look, I'm not telling you _not_ to be pissed off at him, okay? But we'll figure this all out, we really will. We need each other, Alex. Because we went through way too much shit last year, and I'm tired of being scared and hurting. Because I'm tired of the fighting. Because...you....it's what Hannah would want us to do."

Alex sighed. "Well why didn't you say so."

"I....think I just did?"

Shaking his head, Alex leaned forward. "I don't know if I can ever forgive him, Clay. Or her. You're tired of hurting? Well, guess what? So am I."

"No...I....I know."

Alex's lower lip trembled as he started to cry again, softly. "She didn't love me. I thought she did, but...why wouldn't she love me? I know I'm all broken and it's my fault, but...." he looked up and over at Clay. "No one is ever going to love me, are they?"

"What? No, don't say that." Clay leaned over and wrapped an arm around Alex, who was now crying harder. Turning his head, he made eye contact with Zach and nodded his head, indicating that he should come and join them. Now.

Zach climbed into the bleachers and walked over quickly to join them, stepping up a row and then down and over to sit on the other side of Alex. "Hey...hey, it's going to be all right. We'll figure this out."

Alex sobbed violently, as Zach hugged him from the opposite side of Clay, the two of them holding onto their friend. In turn, Alex grabbed Clay's right arm with his good hand and held on, pulling it closer to his body and tilted his head so it touched Zach's. They'd seen Alex upset before, but never like this, as he cried in their arms.

"Alex, shhhhh," Zach tried to comfort his friend.

"It's okay," Clay whispered. "Everything is going to be okay...."

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well Mazers, it has hit the fan, as the old saying goes. 
> 
> Welcome back, and thank you for reading part three of four in this series of chapters! Quite a bit of drama here, as there will be for a few more chapters until all is finally resolved. You may see something light come along as well just to break up the angst some, as Clay and Justin figure out how to be brothers and live with one another.
> 
> And yes, Scotty is coming! Next chapter!
> 
> Our glimpses into the future continue as well, and that is so much fun! I hope you're enjoying them.
> 
> As always, I appreciate your kudos, comments and feedback. The companion story, 'This Time,' had a new chapter go up the other day, and that'll be updated again soon as well. And! A Maze of Moments Book Two is coming!
> 
> Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return very soon! Thanks for reading!


	13. Truths and Consequences, Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the fallout of telling truths continues...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for drug use by one of our heroes...

 

**Tuesday, April 24, 2018**

 

Clay and Zach walked Alex back inside the school, taking their time, and immediately made their way to a bathroom. Alex leaned back against a sink, his breathing punctuated by little shudders from crying, as Zach stood next to him and gently placed a hand on the back of his head and neck, his thumb rubbing little circles. At the next sink, Clay turned on the water and pulled several sheets of paper towels from the dispenser and wet them.

"C'mon....let's get you cleaned up a little." Clay had now stepped up in front of Alex. "Are you okay with me...or do you want to...?"

Normally, Alex would have chaffed at the attention. He hated feeling helpless, or that at times he required someone to assist him in accomplishing what had once been the simplest of tasks. Whether it was his parents or Zach, there were moments when he resented the fact that they seemed to hover, and treat him with kid gloves as if he was a glass figurine that might break if handled improperly. He could do things for himself, and he did, more and more each day, and the physical therapy with Zach was slowly  but surely starting to pay off. He craved the full independence that he once enjoyed, without hindrance. But after the last forty-five minutes or so, it was nice to have somebody else to take care of him. So, he nodded and let Clay wipe his face gently.

"My stomach hurts," he said quietly.

"You feel like you're gonna be sick?" Zach asked as Clay went about his task.

"I don't think so. Probably my stupid gut thing. Stress makes it worse."

Clay balled up the wet paper towels and went to throw them away, grabbing new and dry ones as he came back. Alex took these and wiped his face dry.

"Better?"

Alex nodded again. "Let's skip the rest of the day. Yeah? Go somewhere. Anywhere."

Zach and Clay looked at each other. "Alex...I can't. I've got to....Justin. You know?"

Alex turned to Zach hopefully.

"Dude, I really can't either. But tell you what, how about we blow off PT today and do something else instead?"

"Like what?"

"Anything. You pick."

"Hey," Clay said, "there's only a couple periods left. The day will go by quick and then it's all over. You can do this. Okay?"

"Anything?" Alex asked Zach.

"Anything you want. Well. Within reason."

"Could we just drive?"

"You got it. Top down and everything."

"Can I drive?"

"Uh..."

"Yeah, okay. Worth a try." He turned back to look at Clay. "You know, I was really happy for you guys. For him. Now...?"

"We'll fix it. His head is all fucked up right now, but we'll fix it. I'll talk to him."

"Look," Zach chimed in, "I'm pissed off at him, too. And I'm not trying to defend what he did, but here I think Clay is right. Justin's....Justin is...."

"A prick?"

"Well, that's one way of putting it, yeah. But think about where he comes from and who and what he was exposed to. And I don't just mean Bryce and those guys. You know he doesn't know any better sometimes."

"Don't make excuses, he's still a prick."

"Alex, he's trying. I know what he did was wrong, but I really do think he wants to change."

"I know he's going to be your brother, but don't fucking defend him, Clay. And don't get your hopes up that he's going to change. He won't."

"Well. We won't know if he will or he won't unless we give him a chance. We can help him be a better person."

Alex sighed. "Maybe. Whatever. If we're not skipping then we should get going. I have to go to my locker and get my shit."

"We'll go with you," Zach said as Alex pushed himself away from the sink and took his cane, and the three walked out of the bathroom and into the hall, which was slowly filling up with students as the period had come to an end.

"Try not to think about it too much...just concentrate on class," Clay suggested.

"Easy for you to say."

"C'mon, he's just trying to help."

"Yeah, Zach, I know. Sorry, Clay."

"It's okay. Hey, you need anything you text me. I'll check in with you later."

 

* * *

 

 

After walking Alex to his locker, where Zach took over and would walk him to his next class, Clay turned in the opposite direction and went quickly to his own locker.

"That's two days in a row. I'm starting to think you really don't like physical education."

Scott Reed had caught up to Clay and now walked alongside him.

"Oh, hey Scott...I mean, does anyone really like P.E. though?"

"I do. Zach does."

"Yeah, well....I'm not you or Zach. Not my thing."

"Maybe. Just gotta give it a chance is all. You're good at running, maybe you should look into doing that more."

"Huh. Well, maybe. So what's up?"

"You tell me." Scott stopped Clay and they stood off to the side to talk. "Everything Saturday night, then yesterday with Monty, and today I overheard Alex yelling at Justin. Basically the whole room did."

"I like staying busy, what can I say?"

"Clay..."

"Look, you read my note about Saturday, right?"

"Yeah, I did. That was some brave shit you did, not gonna lie."

"Okay, well then you know why I did it. This place....it has to be better, you know? I think we can make it better, for each other, for other students, for freshmen next year. And I do mean 'we' as in us, the group of us that worked together. I think we can make a difference."

"Zach mentioned something about that yesterday."

"You want in?"

"Sure," Scott shrugged. "Not sure how much time and effort I can do or that you'd want from me, but you need me and I'm there. Not all of us jocks are assholes you know."

"Yeah, I know that now."

"Speaking of those who are assholes. Monty."

"Monty is a dick, that's all."

"True, but he also has a bug up his ass about baseball and Bryce. I'd be careful around him if I were you, the guy is bordering right on psycho."

"I'm not worried about Monty."

"Well, be careful all the same. Now...Alex and Justin?"

Clay rolled his eyes. "That's a long, long story. Too long for the hall. How about I text you later or something and I'll fill you in."

"Sounds good."

They started walking again, as the time in between periods was coming to a close.

"Scooby Doo, huh?" Scott asked.

"There are worse names...."

 

* * *

 

As the day finally came to an end - and as Clay had said earlier that morning, it really _had_ been one of those days - Justin stood in front of his open locker. As he put some books away and grabbed others to stuff into his backpack for assignments that evening, a familiar figure and voice came up behind him.

"It's not too late you know."

Turning around slowly, he came face to face with Bryce Walker.

"Not too late for what?"

"To come home. Back where you belong."

Justin blinked. "I...I have a home...."

"Do you really though? I don't know what Jensen is playing at, but how long do you think they'll put up with you there? Honestly."

"B-Bryce...look, don't..."

"Don't what? Let you make another in a long string of mistakes? You don't fit in with Jensen or his little group. Do you? No, you're supposed to be with us. With _me._ And deep down inside, you know that, too. Don't you. You and me, we were going to run this shithole, and we _did._ I might be leaving...but you can still run this place for me. And as far as your probation, living arrangements, whatever...look, let this shit blow over, and I'll talk to my father and his lawyer and I'll see what I can work out. All you have to do....is apologize. That's all. Two little words, and you're back home."

Justin's heart started to race, his breathing quickened, and his mouth went dry as he processed what Bryce had just offered. It could all go away - his record would be wiped clean, things would go back to the way they used to be.

Used to be.

Back when he didn't give a damn about anyone, not really. When he could drink and fuck and get high all he wanted, and there wouldn't be anyone to tell him no, or try to explain why it was _wrong_ to act like that, and not think about other people and their feelings. Plenty of food. No curfew. No chores around the house.....

Justin blinked again. And shook his head to clear it.

.....a house where three people actually gave a damn about him and had already welcomed him with open arms and without reservation. Well. Except for one of the three, but even his reservations were qualified, because he'd always wanted a brother, and had already done a bunch of things for him - just because - and had shown a kindness that Justin never expected. Hell, he even was held, sort of, and comforted during a nap on Sunday afternoon. There was plenty of food, and it was a warm and loving home, and had everything within it that he always wanted and never dreamed that he would one day have.

"I have a home, Bryce. With Clay and his family. I'm going to be a part of that family. I'm done with fucked up shit, you know? It's time for me to grow the fuck up and be a man. My _own_ man. Not yours."

Bryce laughed. "So, the answer is no?"

"The answer is _hell no."_

As Justin's eyes narrowed and he faced down Bryce, Monty came down the hall. When he saw what was transpiring, he walked faster and joined them. "Foley! You finally taking my advice? See, all you have to do is make it up to Bryce, and it'll all go back to normal, everything will be just like it w-"

"What are you babbling about, Monty?" Bryce interrupted. "And why do you have a dog on your stupid cast? Your advice? This has nothing to do with you....I told you, you and I are done. This is between me and Foley here."

"But...but..."

"But, nothing. Walk away."

While this was playing out, down the opposite end of the hall, Alex had arrived at his own locker. As he was about to spin the tumbler on his lock, he turned and saw Bryce and Monty arguing in front of Justin, who looked like he was alternating between being a scared little boy and his former jock self, ready to face down the two of them. He quickly pulled the phone from his pocket....and stopped. He looked down at the phone and then back over at the trio.

And waited. And thought.

He could send a text, sound the alarm. Get the others. They'd rally, just like they did yesterday, and stand their ground. Look out for one another, that's what Clay kept saying.

Or....

 

 **Alex:** _Hey...I'll meet you outside by your car_

 **Zach:** _Sounds good...gotta finish something up and I'll be right there_ **  
**

 

Deciding he had had enough for one day, Alex grabbed his cane, turned from his locker, and walked away.

As Bryce rolled his eyes while Monty essentially started to beg, Clay turned the corner and froze as he saw what was happening. "Jesus fuck, again?" he said to himself as he sighed and walked up, forcing a grin as he did so. "Hey guys! Justin, you ready to go? We've got things to do, man, grab your shit and let's head on out."

"Looks like your ride is here, Justy," Bryce teased. "Wouldn't want to keep you waiting. Well. Go on, go play with your little friend."

"Jensen." Monty scowled and turned to Clay.

"Hey, Monty! Still have your puppy dog I see. I'm glad, I worked so hard on it yesterday."

"Wait," Bryce chuckled, "you drew that?"

"Yeah, it's a puppy detective looking for Monty's little dick."

"JENSEN!"

Bryce laughed out loud. "Okay, props to you, man. That's a good one."

Monty grabbed Clay by the shirt, yanking him close, faces practically touching. "Go to hell, Jensen!" he seethed.

Narrowing his eyes, and in spite of the shaking he could feel starting up in his hands and his heart now pounding like a jackhammer, Clay stared down his opponent. "In due time."

"You're a dead man walking!"

"Yeah? Well fucking do it then! And if you're not going to, then get your hands off me!"

Justin grabbed Monty's right arm and pulled it off of Clay. "He said get your fucking hands off of him!" He gave Monty a shove, who stumbled back. "I told you yesterday...knock it the fuck off, and leave Clay alone. Got it?" Stepping forward, he was now in front of Clay protectively, fists clenched at his sides. "Put your hands on him again, and you deal with me."

"All right, that's enough," a now bored Bryce said. "Monty, go back to...whatever it was you were doing. Well, go on. I'm sure your Dad is waiting on you or whatever."

Now fuming, a red faced Monty backed up. "This isn't over, Jensen....not by a long shot," he said before turning and walking away.

"Well, this has been fun. Justy, final offer man. Last chance."

"I told you....I have a home," Justin replied, looking at Clay, who was smoothing down his shirt.

Shaking his head, Bryce laughed to himself as he started to walk off. "You're white trash. You always have been, you always will be. Don't come crying back to me when you fuck this one up, too."

"What the fuck was that all about?" Clay asked.

"Nothing. Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. You?"

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

 

* * *

 

They drove out of the parking lot and down the road in silence. It wasn't until Clay saw what Justin was doing out of the corner of his eye that he finally said something.

"What's wrong?"

There was no reply as Justin scratched at his left pants leg and rapped the knuckles of his right hand against the passenger window.

"Dude. Seriously."

Justin shook his head and started to rock back and forth a little.

"Justin....are you all right?"

He shook his head again in reply.

"What is it? Come on, Justin, what's wrong?"

"I...I want to get high. Like, right now."

"What??"

"I'm...trying, Clay. I'm really trying....I...I need to get high..."

"No...I...I know you're trying, but you don't need to get high. You _don't_. It's okay, just relax. We'll be home in a little bit."

"That really fucked me up....the two of them. Fucking Bryce and Monty. Bryce....Bryce said he...he would fix everything. For me. All I had to do was apologize to him and I could come home. He actually said that. Home. I...I didn't want....I don't want that, not anymore..."

"No...no, I-I know you don't...."

"It's like....he expected me to _beg_ like I'm a goddamn dog....like he trained me! I...I wouldn't do that, you know I wouldn't! Not ever again with him! And then Monty...that asshole just won't let shit drop...and then he grabbed you, and I wanted to punch him in the fucking mouth! Then everything with Alex today....I fucked everything up with him and with the gang now, and I know you're mad at me about that. On top of it all is this withdrawal shit...Clay, I _seriously_ need to get high...I don't think...I don't think I can do this." Reaching up, he wiped at his face as tears that had formed started to spill out. "Yes, I'm crying again, okay? I'm fucking sorry, I can't help it! I tried to make it better and all I did was make it _worse_ and I didn't mean to do that and I'm so sorry..."

"Hey....it'll be all right. It's going to be all right! How can I help, what do you need?"

"A couple grams of White Boy."

"That's....heroin?"

"No, it's a fucking new hip hop group, what do you think it is!" Justin was now hitting his right leg, closed fist. "I can't do this..."

"Yes you can! I know you can. Okay...try and calm down. Take some deep breaths. Here," Clay rolled down the passenger side window, and fresh, cool air came rushing in. "Just try for me. Yeah? Breathe, Justin. I don't care if you're crying. I don't! I really don't. C'mon, try and stay calm. Please?" As Clay said that, he suddenly remembered Sunday night and what was said in jest in his -their- bedroom....

_Well, I'm kinda wishing I didn't have to give up weed...that would make these go away._

_Hey, it would help....we could get high together and you'd calm down some, too._

If nothing else, the last several months had proven just how impulsive Clay Jensen could be at times, whether for the right or wrong reasons. While he wasn't exactly sure what he was about to do was a right reason or not, it was time to be a little - actually, a lot - impulsive. Justin had done fucked up things, and it had been a shit day, but the guy was going to be his brother for crying out loud. Maybe this is what brothers did for one another.

Hitting his turn signal, Clay looked at Justin. "Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"You trust me, right?"

"Of course I trust you, what kind of a..."

"Okay." Clay pulled into the lot of a convenience store and parked. Taking off his seat belt, he turned off the car and got out. "You stay right here. I mean it, right here, and don't go anywhere. Understand?"

"Clay, what the fu-"

"Justin, please? Understand?"

"Yeah, okay! I'm staying right fucking here!"

"Good. I'll be right back!" he said, closing the driver's side door.

Justin nodded and shut his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself and rocking a little as Clay pulled out his phone and quickly went into the store. Nearly fifteen minutes later he returned, and opened a bag after getting back into the car. "Okay, so I didn't know what flavor you like, but I thought this one looked good," he said, pulling out and handing over a bottle of Gatorade. "I've never bought this stuff before, but it's very....green. Like, ungodly doesn't happen in nature green. Don't chug it though...I don't want you puking in my car. Small sips. Now I'm also not sure what kind of candy you like, so I bought a bunch. I've got Hershey's, Reese's, Snickers, Three Musketeers, Tootsie Rolls....what do you want?"

"Clay...that's...you didn't have to," Justin replied in a shaky voice before he took a sip.

"Which one?"

"Uh...the Snickers?"

"Good choice, one of my favorites. Here. Okay, seat belt still on? Good."

Starting the car again, Clay pulled out and back into traffic, but this time driving in the opposite direction from home.

"You went the wrong way."

"No I didn't."

"Clay, yes you did, you needed to-"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes....?"

"Okay then. Eat your candy bar and try to relax."

 

* * *

 

"Clay."

"What?"

"Why the actual fuck did you bring me to Eisenhower Woods?"

"How're you feeling?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"You need to answer mine, first. How're you feeling?"

Justin leaned back in his seat as Clay drove down a winding path. "Like shit."

"Like you still want to get high?"

"Yes."

"Like...on heroin?"

"Yes! Clay, what the fuck are we doing?"

"That's why we're here."

He pulled up behind Tony's Mustang and turned off the car.

"We're meeting Tony and getting high?"

"In a manner of speaking. Maybe. Stay here and don't go anywhere."

"Where the fuck would I go?" But Clay had gotten out of the car and jogged up to the driver's side window of the Mustang. He saw something passed over and the two engage in what looked to be a heated conversation, with Clay's arms gesticulating. Finally, a more relaxed look came over his face, and Justin could distinctly make out the words "thank you" being said by Clay repeatedly. The Mustang started up and pulled up some, then made a three point turn and drove away in the direction from which Clay had come in.

Clay came back over to the car. "Okay, let's go," he called.

Confused, Justin undid his seat belt and slowly got out of the car, closing the door and walking over to join Clay. "Where are we going?"

"About a ten minute walk that way," Clay pointed. "Tony brought me out here one day to go rock climbing."

"You....went rock climbing. You?"

"It's a long story..."

"Clay, I'm not about to go rock climbing...."

"And neither am I, ever again. Probably. But there's a clearing nearby where we did it, and there's no one there, Tony already checked. Let's go."

"Clay, why are we-"

"Will you stop asking questions already and just fucking trust me Justin!"

"Okay, fine..."

"Good. We'll take it kind of slow."

Justin wrapped his arms around him and walked with his head down as they made their way through a series of paths. They walked up to, in front of, and to the left of where Clay and Tony had indeed climbed a few months ago, and over into a clearing surrounded by large shade trees and smaller rocks. Indicating that Justin should sit, he did so at the base of a tree.

"Here," Clay handed over the small envelope that Tony had given him. Confused, Justin took it and looked inside, finding a lighter and a tightly rolled joint.

"Clay. What's..."

"You said the other night it would make the symptoms go away and it'll probably calm you down. When's your next drug test for probation?"

"Uh...week after next."

Nodding, Clay continued. "Okay, good. It should be out of your system by then. This one time - and I fucking mean it, Justin, this _one_ and _only_ time - you do this so you can calm down. Later tonight we'll look up some strategies to help fight the cravings. All right?"

"You..did this for me?"

Clay shrugged. "I mean...me and Tony, but...yeah."

"How did Tony...he smokes?"

"No...well, I don't think so, but I didn't know who else to ask...and I guess his brothers or something knew how to get it."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay. Are you gonna....you know. With me?"

"Absolutely _not_. The only way you'll see me high is if it's accidentally. We're downwind, so that's good...but we'll change clothes and wash them as soon as we get home, just to be safe. I'll stand off to the side anyway, just in case," he said, walking away some.

"You know I smoked a lot of weed. Right? Like, before. So I may not get, like, super stoned or anything."

"Will it help you relax?"

"Probably, yeah."

"All right then. Do your thing." Clay pulled out a phone and started to play a game, as Justin lit the joint and inhaled.

"This isn't bad...kinda mellow. You sure you don't want any?" he said, squinting from the smoke as he exhaled.

"Positive," Clay replied, turning and walking a few more feet away.

"You didn't have to do this," Justin said after several minutes of silence.

"Tell me about it. It helping?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Clay sighed and put his phone back in his pocket and crossed his arms, looking at the wooded area that lay in front of him, a large sloping hill. "I need to ask you something," he said, keeping his back to Justin.

"Okay, what?" Justin put the joint back to his lips and inhaled again.

"You have to be totally, completely honest with me. No bullshit. Promise?"

"Yeah, fine. What?"

"Last fall. When the tapes were going around. When I did what I did. Did you suggest killing me?"

Justin swallowed and looked at the roach burning between his fingers, and hesitated a little before answering. "Clay....that was...."

"Just answer me. We promised we would trust one another the other day, and you just promised me now you would be honest. Did you or didn't you?"

Sighing, Justin closed his eyes for a second. "Yeah. I did," he finally answered.

"Would you have? Like, if given the chance and you had the opportunity. Would you?"

"No," Justin shook his head as Clay turned around and faced him. "No. I wouldn't have. I...I was so mad at you, and I hated you then. I did stupid, ridiculous things, to you, to a whole bunch of people. But I wouldn't have done that."

"Then why did you suggest it in the first place?"

"What difference does it make now?"

"Justin, just tell me."

Justin finished off the joint and put it out on the ground next to him. "You were, like, a threat. To me, to a bunch of people....people that I thought were my friends and who I thought gave a rat's ass about me. I was mad, like I said, and I wanted you to stop. But I wouldn't have killed you, or let anyone else try it. I did some fucked up shit....but I wouldn't have gone that far."

Clay nodded. "I guess that makes sense."

"Who told you? Alex?"

"Yeah."

Justin sighed again. "I wasn't thinking straight then. Hell, maybe I never have until now, I dunno. It was a stupid thing to say, and I'm sorry I ever suggested it. Does that....are you changing your mind? About the adoption? I...I guess I can understand if you do."

Now it was Clay's turn to sigh as he crossed his arms again and walked a little closer to where Justin was sitting. "No. I'm not changing my mind. I still want us to adopt you, you're not the same person that you were back then. That much is obvious."

"Are you...mad at me? About that?"

"No," Clay shook his head. "I'm not. I guess I'm still trying to understand everything that went on last fall. And trying to understand you."

Looking down, Justin picked at  some of the grass and small plants around the base of the tree as the marijuana fully enveloped his system. "Alex was wrong about something today though. When he said I wouldn't be there for you if you got hurt or got sick or whatever. I totally would. Absolutely. I don't want anything bad to happen to you, you know? That's why when you-, with the gun...and I asked if you gave it back and told you never do that again? You're giving me this last chance. And I feel like if I lose you, then I lose that last chance."

"You're not as bad of a person as you think you are, Justin. You need to stop beating yourself up and understand that you're not perfect. None of us are, not me, not you."

"Well, I'm not exactly a good person, am I?"

"Did you have me killed? Or you try to kill me?"

"What?" Justin looked over at Clay. "Of course not."

"There's your proof. I'm still here, aren't I? In more ways than one."

While he wasn't high enough to lose awareness or function, Justin was now much more relaxed, and brought his legs up, wrapping his arms around his bent knees. "Clay, do you want to know what the difference is between you and me?"

"There's only one?"

"Well, the biggest difference. I did what I did, the things I used to do...get really high, drink, fuck all the girls, not give a shit about school...be a bully, like Alex said, the typical dumb jock....I did all that, because it made me feel _important._ Like I could fit in, be someone more than I was. Not the kid from the broken home. Mom not there half the time, and when she was, she'd be higher than I ever could get. No dad around. Fuck, I don't even know who my dad is, never met him. I pushed people around and acted like an ass because I figured I had to do that if I ever wanted to be special, more than I was, and not some poor white trash kid. You get it?"

Clay nodded in reply and brought his arms down to his sides.

"Then there's you. You do things, even if they're fucked up....not fucked up in the way I did, but still. You do what you do....because you _mean_ it. You believe that at the end of it all, it's whatever, because you do all that and you believe it's the right thing to do. You stand up _to_ people and _for_ people. You've got integrity, man. So the other day, when I told your folks and you I was still using? Fuck, I could've kept sneaking drugs in and using them, and never said a word and you never would have known. But I told you all and I want to get clean for good. And today. I knew telling Alex was going to cause a shitstorm, and I was right. But do you know why I did that, why I wanted to tell him and tell you all Sunday morning? What the real reason was?"

Clay shook his head and shrugged.

"It's not just that it was the right thing to do. That was important, yeah. But, it was because I figured out....that's what _you_ would do. You'd want to at least try and make it right, even if things got worse because of it. Anyway. That's the difference between you and me."

Clay came up to and sat next to Justin under the tree, and they sat in silence for a few minutes, Clay processing what he had just been told. Picking up a twig, he twirled it around in his hand, poking Justin's arm with it once or twice, causing him to laugh. Finally, he spoke up. "That's - you know you're not that person anymore. Right? And you never have to be that person ever again. I think you've been pretending your whole life to be someone else, but now you can just be yourself.  The things that you've always enjoyed doing for the right reasons, you should still do those, because that's part of the real you. You still like to have sex, still like basketball, working out, all of that, and those are things that make you who you are, and that should never change. Well...except for maybe having a lot of sex with a lot of different girls part..."

Justin laughed at hearing that, just like he had the day at Monet's when Clay agreed with his statement about still being fucked up. "Yeah, I don't think I could ever totally give up having sex. I know I need to tone it down and all, but it still makes me feel like someone loves me or needs me."

"Well, I don't know about the loving part....but I need you, Justin. I know maybe it hasn't seemed that way the last few days, because I've been mad about what happened, but I do. I feel like we sort of compliment one another, you know?"

"Yeah," Justin nodded, "that makes sense."

"But now it's time to just be yourself, Justin. Not pretend to be somebody like Bryce or Monty or Marcus. You don't have to do that anymore, because I think beneath all that pretending and acting like a jerk and all that hurt, there's a pretty decent guy who's been waiting to come out. A guy who's going to be my brother, and who I want to get to know better. So am I mad at you about everything the last three days? I mean, yeah, a little. Are you going to do things to make me mad in the future? Possibly. But I won't be mad at you forever, and I want to help you find that Justin Foley...Almost Jensen...that I think has been here the whole time. And hey, I'm probably going to do shit that'll make you mad and hurt your feelings too, and I won't mean it. Neither one of us is perfect, no one in the gang is perfect, we're a little group of misfit toys that I really believe needs one another. Please stop beating yourself up over what happened, that's not going to make it any better. So are things all fucked up right now? Well...a) yes. But, b) they won't be forever. We can fix it. Together. Okay?"

Justin nodded and leaned his head back against the tree. "I'm really sorry about all this, Clay. I feel like I'm more trouble to you than anything else."

"Well, you're not."

"I still can't believe you got me weed and let me get a little high," he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Well, did it help? Feeling any better?"

"Much," Justin nodded. "You know, I'd pay real money to see you high. It'd probably be fucking hilarious."

"It probably would."

"How pissed is he?"

"Alex?"

"Yeah."

"Very."

"Fuck..."

"He'll calm down and we can talk to him and try to work it all out."

"Tony said not to text or talk to him or whatever for a few days."

"Sound advice. I would have told you the same thing. Hey. Thanks, by the way."

"For what?"

"Monty. By the locker, getting him off of me."

"You need to be careful, like I said last night."

"It'll be fine. Everything's gonna be okay. Me and Monty, you and Alex, our little gang. Just give it some time and let it work out."

Justin sighed and looked at his surroundings. It was green and peaceful, the air crisp and fresh. Even if he didn't have the weed, just being brought out here by Clay would have had a calming affect on him. Maybe that's why he chose this particular location. It wasn't just a place to come and smoke without the risk of getting caught, it was a place to share some quiet and stillness, almost in the way that the bleachers were for Clay and Alex. Opening up and being honest with anyone, let alone Clay, was still an odd thing, and it was taking a lot of getting used to. There was too much of his past that was unpleasant, painful to talk about, and brought back far too many frightening memories. But if Clay was right - and chances are he probably was, the little shit knew a lot about everything - as time went on maybe he would be able to talk about these things more and more, and let the real Justin Foley - Almost Jensen - breathe free at long last.

"What're you thinking?" Clay finally asked.

"I'm thinking we should get going," he answered, getting to his feet and reaching out a hand to help Clay stand up.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Clay brushed his pants off. "You good?"

"Yeah. Let's go to your....let's go _home_."

As they walked back down the trail to the car, Clay tentatively reached over and put an arm around Justin's shoulders, just like he had done Sunday night. Unlike Sunday night, though, something happened.

Justin didn't flinch.

He leaned into the side hug.

 

* * *

 

 

**Thursday Evening, June 21, 2018**

 

Alex and Cyrus had been joking with one another in Clay's backyard, as Justin came up to them and immediately embraced Alex.

"Whoa...okay, so we...hug now? This is a thing?"

Justin nodded in the crook of Alex's neck, who looked at Cyrus. He got a confused shrug in return.

"You know I love you. Right?" Justin's muffled voice could be heard asking. Cyrus nodded and walked away, sensing that the two needed to talk.

"Yeah...you good?" Alex patted Justin's back as his friend slowly released him, and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"That's what I want to ask you. Are we...good? Like, better?"

"Well, yeah. Why are you-"

"Because, Alex. I hurt you, and I never meant to do that, and I can never say enough how sorry I am. I was in a bad place and I did stupid, hurtful things....to you, to a whole bunch of people. And I need to know that we're really friends."

"Justin, of course we are. Look, I told you, I told everyone....I needed to figure out who I was and live my truth. Me and Jess...that never would have worked out, and in the end it wouldn't have been fair to her or to me. So, yeah...I was mad at you, but I needed to go through that process of finding myself, as hurtful as it was. In a sense, you did me a big favor."

"So...you forgive me? Like, for real, forgive me?"

"You are a hot damn mess, you know that?" Alex laughed. "Yes. I forgive you. I forgave you awhile ag....oh, and we're hugging again, okay...."

"I really do love you, and I'm so glad you're my friend. I always want you in my life."

"I love you, too, Justin. You're my friend, and I'll always be in your life, whenever you need me. Even if you have to come hunt me down some day."

 

* * *

 

 

**Monday Evening, July 17, 2034**

 

The crowd was sparse. It was a Monday, after all, and the clubs weren't exactly standing room only. Still, once the set ended, those at the small venue clapped and whistled loudly to show their appreciation.

Alex took the bass guitar off and set it down alongside the other instruments and waved to the audience, as did the other band members. Exiting stage right, he was met by one of the backstage personnel, who handed him a note.

"From some guy at a table in the back, said to give it to ya. Sounded real good out there...sorry we couldn't get you booked on a weekend, more people and all that."

"It's fine, Nick." Alex unfolded the napkin and read the note inside, the handwriting instantly familiar:

 

_Got time to talk? -JJ_

 

Smiling, he walked through the backstage and came out onto the floor and wound his way through the tables, until he reached the one where Justin Jensen was sitting, drinking a club soda.

"You've still got it."

"Hi, Justin. Or is it, Doctor Jensen now?"

"Hard to believe, huh? Every time someone says it I think they're talking to my Dad." Justin got up and hugged his friend, then the two sat down together. 

"What brings you to L.A.?"

"Well, what do you have....Hollywood. Tar pits. That theater with the hands."

"The theater with the hands. You mean Grauman's?"

"Yeah, that one."

"It's only one of the most famous places in L.A."

"Okay. So maybe I want to see it," Justin took a sip of his drink. "You want anything? Beer?"

"Nah, I'm good. How's Jess and Matty?"

"They're great. The kid is a bundle already, I can barely keep up with him."

"I bet! Clay and Sheri?"

"Also doing really well. Little JJ is already sharp as a tack, as you might imagine."

"Jeffrey Justin Jensen. You all do love your alliteration, don't you?" Alex laughed.

"Hey, that was all them! I suggested calling him jay-cubed. Maybe when he's older."

"Yeah....so, what're you really doing here, Justin? This can't be a sight seeing trip."

Taking a deep breath, Justin ran his finger around the rim of his glass. "Alex. I want you to come back to Liberty."

"What, and like perform? I mean, I guess I could talk to the other guys and..."

"No, not perform. Teach."

Alex did a double take. "Teach? You're....this is a joke, right?"

"No. Come teach music. Teach jazz."

"Justin....I'm not a teacher."

"I know. But you could be."

"Why would I want..."

"We just received a major donation from an alumni from the 70s to pump into our arts programs. One of them is music, and the stipulation was that the jazz program be revived. Courses, band, the whole deal. We need someone to teach it. We want you."

"We. Who, exactly, is we?"

"Me. Clay. Porter. Clay and I talked about it first, then suggested it to him, and we convinced him you're the man for the job. Not too many music professionals back in Crestmont."

"Justin, I don't even have a degree in teaching!"

"You already have a four year degree, so you can do alternative certification. You take the California Subject Examinations for Teachers before the start of the quarter, we can fast track it. Two years taking classes in Music Education, two more years for a graduate degree. Boom. You're a teacher."

"Four more years of school."

"Yeah."

"Justin, I have a job. A good job. With benefits. And I can play gigs on the side whenever I want."

"True. You can do that. But we have benefits, too, and you can play all the music you've ever wanted. You love music, Alex, it's always been your passion. So let me ask you a question. Are you happy with your job? I mean...honestly. You like data entry and analysis?"

"It's...it's a good job."

"That doesn't answer my question, though. Alex. C'mon man, what're you doing here? You're so much better than this, you've got so much to give. Can you really do that with what you're doing right now? Alex...those kids need you. _I_ need you. We miss you. What're you doing here, man? Yeah, it's L.A., bright lights, big city, okay, so what? Are you really happy here?"

"I mean....kind of?"

"Come home, Alex."

Alex sat back and thought it over for a moment. "Is Liberty a better place than we left it when we were there?"

Justin was looking at his glass again. "Yes."

"Justin?"

Now he looked up. "Yes. And it'll be even better with you. You, me and Clay, just like the old days."

"What's next, going to hire Zach also?"

"If we had the budget, I'd love to have a marine biologist teaching in science, but we can't afford Zach," Justin grinned.

"But you can afford me?"

"Yes."

Alex sighed. "I'll...I need to think about it."

"That's fine. I fly back tomorrow morning, you can tell me before I leave."

"Justin! That's...like, less than twenty-four hours!"

"I know."

"Jesus....why would I ever want to teach anyway?"

"Because. You said one day I might have to come and hunt you down if I ever needed you. So here I am."

Alex's lips parted as he recalled bits and pieces of a conversation in Clay's backyard sixteen years earlier, and Justin got up from the table. "You'll call me in the morning, yeah?"

"Huh? Yeah...yeah, I'll call you..."

 

* * *

 

 

**Tuesday Afternoon, October 19, 2038**

 

"The important thing, Riley, is that you don't lash out at anyone else who might want to help or talk to you about this. Your family, your friends. We're not saying not to be angry, you have every right to be. Remember to let people who care about you in, even if you yell and scream and cry. They'll understand."

Riley, a tall, skinny junior at Liberty, nodded, as he listened to Alex Standall. Together with Justin Jensen, they sat at a small round conference table in Justin's office.

"I think it's also important to remember that people make mistakes. Sometimes, they make big mistakes. Major ones. And the ones who make those mistakes are our friends and really love us, then they're probably hurting also. You know?"

Riley nodded again. "Jeremy...that's my friend....he's been, like, trying to call me and stuff. He texted me a couple times. I guess he wants to apologize and talk maybe. Anna, too."

"It sounds that way, yeah."

"Doctor Jensen, should I forgive him? And her?"

"Well," Justin sighed, "I can't answer that for you. You need to find that in yourself. The only thing I can tell you for certain is that we're all here for a short amount of time, you know? And that being hurt and angry all the time doesn't do anyone any good."

"Give it a few more days, think about what we've said. If you want to come back and talk some more, I'm sure Doctor Jensen will be happy to do so, and you know I'm around in the music wing. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I guess I kinda feel a little better. I'm sorry if I caused any trouble, I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't, and you're not going to be punished or anything. But listen, if you're going to be at parties be careful. Alcohol and drugs make us do stupid things."

"For real," Riley smiled and shook his head. "I guess Jeremy got pretty stupid....and Anna said she thought he looked like me, I guess the room was dark or whatever and they each thought they were someone else."

"Ah, youth," Alex grinned. "Nice to see some things never change."

Riley thanked the teacher and the counselor, shaking their hands, and got up and left Justin's office.

"You need me for anything else?" Alex said as he also got to his feet.

"Nah. Thanks for being here, that was a huge help telling him all that."

"Normally I don't want to open up the history books with the kids, but in this case I think the exception was warranted. You coming? Want to grab a coffee or something?"

"Wish I could, I've got to get to practice in a few, then pick up Matty from Clay after. But tell you what, since all we've had is decaf today, how about a quick Monet's run later tonight? I'll bring Jess and your adopted nephew."

"Decaf. All day. How is this place still standing?"

"Wasn't easy. So, Monet's? Around seven?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

As Alex made his way to the door, Justin stopped him. "Hey...I never did thank you."

"Yeah you did, you just said it..."

"No, not that. I never thanked you....for forgiving me. All those years ago. You didn't have to, and you did."

Alex looked at his old friend and smiled, nodding. "Yeah, well...you're welcome. See you tonight."

 

  

_Everything's gonna be okay_  
_Oh, I keep telling myself, "Don't worry, be happy"_  
_Oh, you keep telling yourself, "Everything's gonna be okay"_  
_Oh, I keep telling myself, "Don't worry, be happy"_  
_Oh, you keep telling yourself, "Everything's gonna be okay"_

 - from "Trouble," by TV On The Radio

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back, and thank you for reading this last installment of the Truths and Consequences chapters! 
> 
> I should note at the outset that Clay's efforts in helping Justin was probably *not* the right thing to do, and shouldn't be taken as a good strategy. I'm hardly an expert in these matters, but I felt that in the moment, Clay figured this was the best choice.
> 
> A few other little Easter eggs showing up here and there which allude to later events, either in the main story or in some of the other ones. Did you find all of them? 
> 
> And the flashforwards! Man, Ye Writer is loving those, and will most likely come back to them later on down the line! Now, while we haven't seen Alex and Justin talk it out and get to that point where they're on the same page YET, I felt it was important and right to end this particular chapter that way. In its own right, it sort of provided a nice bookend to these chapters.
> 
> So, as always, my many thanks for your kudos and comments and feedback, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Ye Writer is going to be away for a few days, but I wanted to wrap these up before I left town to hold you over and get you your Mazeverse fix! There's lots and lots more to come, I promise! 
> 
> Stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return very soon! Take care!


	14. All These Things That I Have Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Justin has a nightmare, Clay helps him out, and they talk about their regrets....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes its inspiration from "A Destiny Which Makes Us Brothers," chapters one and sixteen.

 

 _And when there's nowhere else to run,_  
_Is there room for one more son?_  
_These changes ain't changing me -_  
_The cold-hearted boy I used to be._

      -from "All These Things That I've Done," by The Killers

 

  

 

 

 

_It was his fault. All his fault. No one else to blame but himself. Drugs, lies, cheating, bullying, all of it. It was all catching up to him now, all of the things he had done and was responsible for had somehow morphed into...something._ _  
_

_A shadow? No, shadows didn't look like **this**. But it was black and diabolical looking, inky and murky, it moved and started to get closer. That's why he had started to run. How did something like this get inside Liberty High anyway?_

_Justin didn't know how long he had been running, but his legs were burning in protest. He couldn't stop, though, had to get away from from the laughter, the mocking, the memories, the pain. Pain he had caused, all his fault. Running from Bryce, tempting him with the promise of "home," or, alternatively, taunting reminders of the poverty from which Justin had come from, and the need for food or clean clothes or basketball shoes. Constant reminders that he owed Bryce, that he would always take care of him, all he had to do was drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness._

_His legs were cramping as other members of the basketball team asked why he had abandoned them. He was their captain, why did he run away and leave them when he was needed? He was supposed to be their leader - how could he lead if he wasn't among them? Zach's face registered disappointment and sadness, but he couldn't say anything, didn't say anything. What words could he possibly use to express himself?  
_

_He had to keep running. If he was fast enough, he would outrun it, this... **thing**. It looked like something out of one of Clay's comic books._

_Seth. Seth was here now. What was he doing here? Did he figure out who had taken all that money? Had to have, only reason why he would be here. Maybe he was working with the blackness, this entity that seemed to get closer and closer. Seth was reaching out, hands ready to grab his throat and squeeze, squeeze hard, pop it like a balloon._

_No! He got away from him before, he could do it again. But someone else had been there that time. Who? Someone else had been watching...._

_Amber. His mother. She wasn't here now. Figures, there was always someone or something more important than he was to her._

_So, he ran, blisters forming on the heels of his feet now, going past Monty scowling at him. Snarling that he betrayed him, he betrayed all of them. They were supposed to stick together, right? They were buds, right? Why would he turn his back on him like this, go with Jensen of all people and his little group of freaks? Come back, he was saying, just come back, don't make me do something you'll regret._

_The walls of Liberty High were dark, hardly any light. But he kept running, had to keep on running, past Tony who shook his head and simply turned away from him. He ran as fast as he could, and now there were Ryan and Courtney, smirking and whispering to one another. There was a stitch in his side now, his shirt was soaked through with sweat, clinging to his torso. Cyrus stepped out in front of him, but he was able to sidestep him. He had to keep running, can't stop now._

_It was getting closer..._

_Past Jessica, who also turned away, unable to look him in the eye. He slowed down, just a little, tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't turn back and merged into the darkness of the wall. Maybe she was only a shadow? That had to be it. Jess would never do that to him. Would she?  
_

_He had to keep running. Start running again. Forget how tired he was, how sore he was getting._

"Justin?"

_Turning a corner, sliding, nearly losing his footing, shoes squeaking as he steadied himself. Just had to keep running, change directions, find that push, go faster. Get ahead of **it**.  
_

_Alex._

_Alex was standing there, crying. Blood was seeping from an open wound on the side of his head, his skin slowly turning a ghostly white, nearly transparent. He had done that to him, it was his fault, all his fault. He wanted to stop, had to stop, couldn't stop. Had to keep running. Pick up the pace again, just change direction...._

"Hey...Justin!"

_Couldn't change direction. Tried to. Alex was still there. Go to the left, there he was. Fake to the right, still in front of him, impeding his progress. Keep the feet moving, just like Coach Patrick taught him, fake again, go right, shift left this time, got around Alex. He looked over his shoulder, watched Alex turn slowly. The blood was pooling on the floor now, spreading outward like an oil spill, merging with the blackness, coming up on Justin quickly. Keep running, start to sprint, outrun it._

_Almost at the doors._

_Once he reached the doors, he could tumble outside of Liberty and catch his breath, stop running.  
_

_Nearly there. Light from the outside was coming in through the windows, he could see it, almost feel it on his skin, covered with perspiration. Maybe it would be cool outside, a breeze would feel so nice, so good on his sweaty body.  Just a few more feet, that was all, he could stop._

"Justin....Justin, wake up!"

_The doors started to blur. The light dimmed. Something was happening, something wrong. The doors were getting smaller, caving in on themselves._

_No! Fucking shit, no!_

_Run faster, ignore the burning, gulp some air._

_They were almost gone now, but he just might fit through them if he could only run faster...._

_Clay._

_Clay was standing next to the doors. Was he making them smaller? Why would he do that? The doors were so small, he wouldn't squeeze through them at all...and then with a 'pop' they disappeared, replaced by another wall._

_He stopped running._

_Gasping for breath, hands on knees. Wipe the sweat from his eyes. He had run so fast, faster than he had ever run in his life, he was almost there, he had almost made it!_

_Noises from behind him._

_He turned around. They were all there. Bryce and Monty, Zach and the team, Seth, Tony and Cyrus, Ryan and Courtney. Jess, with her hands covering her face._

_Alex. Poor Alex. Ivory white. Exsanguinated._

_He couldn't run anymore. Nowhere left to run._

_Couldn't run from his past, everything he had done, it had all caught up to him..._

"Justin!"

_Clay was yelling at him now. Had something in his hands. Holding **it** over his head. Clay had the blackness, the thing.  Justin looked up at it, saw it coming down. Slowly. Closer._

_Closer..._

_Closer....._

_Ready to crash down over his head, ready to envelope him in the dark, smother him into a land of might have beens and never weres..._

_Nowhere left to run...._

 

* * *

 

  

A pillow came crashing down on Justin's head with a muffled "thump" via Clay, startling him and causing him to cry out as he quickly sat up on the couch, eyes wide and panting for breath.

It was nearly one-thirty in the morning on this Wednesday, April 25, and the sound of moaning and whimpering had woken Clay up from a deep sleep. Rolling over, he could just barely make out in the darkness of his room the figure of Justin thrashing around, legs shifting and moving under the blanket as if he was running. Wherever he was and whatever he was running from, it certainly wasn't pleasant, as Clay could hear him cry a little also.

Clay woke up fully and quickly. "Fuck!"

Justin had gone through a few nightmares before, and he had been startled awake by a couple of them, which also caused Clay to wake up. Each time, though, he seemed to jolt out of them so suddenly that Clay felt there was never a need to check on him. Just roll over and go back to sleep, no big deal, we all have bad dreams sometimes. But this was the first one since he had come back from juvenile detention, and this one seemed _bad_. More than bad, it looked to be the textbook definition. Open up Webster's, look up 'night terror,' and there would be a sketch or a picture of Justin doing exactly what he was going through right this minute.

Well. If Justin was going to be his brother, Clay reasoned, he should probably make sure the shithead was all right. That's what brothers were supposed to do.

Otherwise, this might go on all goddamn night long, and neither one of them would get any sleep.

Getting out of bed and stumbling across the room, Clay knelt in front of the couch and shook his roommate. "Justin. Hey....Justin! Justin...Justin wake up!"

No use. If anything, he sunk deeper into whatever ordeal he was experiencing, legs twitching, then stopping, then moving again. Rising up, Clay next went to the wall and flipped the light switch, turning on the floor lamp next to the couch. But that was almost too bright, even for him, and squinting he flipped it off quickly. The desk lamp would be better, so he rushed over and turned that one on instead. As he was about to turn back to the couch, Clay looked at his own bed. Sighing, he picked up a pillow and walked back to where Justin had now rolled to his right, eyes half open, seeing but not really comprehending because of the deep mire he was stuck in. Raising his arms, Clay brought the pillow down and gave the side of Justin's head a good whack.

Success.

"NO! No...I almost...let me get through!...wait. Clay. Clay?" Justin asked, panting.

"No, it's the tooth fairy and I need you to move so I can leave you a quarter, who do you think it is?"

"What the fuck...?"

"That's what I was about to ask you. You all right?"

"You...took the doors away from me...made them disappear, couldn't get out...couldn't run..."

"That must have been one hell of a bad dream," Clay said, tossing the pillow back over to his bed, and missing by a foot. As he sat down on the couch, Justin practically jumped off it and scooted away, moving over to the far side of it, as if he was afraid he was going to be - what, exactly? Trapped by whatever demon was chasing him again, or that had...hit him? Tormented him? Whatever it was, it was not cool, and Clay did a slight double take. "Whoa...take it easy...you're okay, it's just me. It's me, Justin....it's Clay. It's all over, you're awake now. Calm down, okay? Take a couple deep breaths."

"I...uh...yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up." Justin leaned forward a little, holding his head in his hands. "Just go back to sleep, okay?" he said almost inaudibly.

"Why don't you put on a new shirt, you're all sweaty."

Sighing, Justin sat up and touched himself. "Ugh...fuck, gross."

Clay got up from the couch and went to the door. "I'll be right back, change your shirt." As he walked out into the hall, Justin slowly got to his feet and was about to turn towards the dresser they shared, taking a halting step as he did so.

No soreness. No burning. No blisters.

It really _had_ all just been a dream. A very bad dream.

Peeling the soaked shirt over his head, he balled it up and tossed it into the clothes hamper and opened a drawer, taking out a new one as Clay returned with a new blanket and pillowcase. He watched the care and precision with which he went about his task, unfolding the new blanket over the couch after pushing the first one onto the floor, then swapping out the pillowcase, and lifting the new one up and over Justin's pillow and fluffing it up a little before putting it back down and arranging it so that it would be just right. Once finished, he picked up the first blanket and saw Justin watching him.

"What?"

Justin shook his head and put the shirt on.

"You sure you're okay?"

Justin sighed again, but nodded in the affirmative this time. "No one's ever done something like that for me before, that's all. Thanks, man," he said quietly as he walked back over to the couch and sat down.

"Oh. Um. Well, no big deal, you wouldn't want to sleep all sweaty and nasty anyway, right?" Clay explained as he put the blanket and pillowcase in the hamper. "You know, if you...want to talk about it, that's...we can do that. If you want?"

Justin shook his head again, shuddering a little.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Not right now. Maybe later?"

"Okay."

"You should go back to sleep, Clay," Justin said wearily, laying back down and pulling the new blanket up and over him.

Frowning a little, Clay went back over to his bed, picking up his own pillow along the way. As he turned off the desk lamp, he looked back over at Justin, and for some reason felt closer to him at that moment than he had in the short time he had come to live with the family, a realization that there was truly a kindred spirit in the room with him. After all, he knew all too well what it was like to be terrorized in the night, to close your eyes and have visions of regrets and fears immediately fill your head. He could remember being a little boy and padding over to his parents bedroom when he had a bad dream, so that Mom and Dad could make it all better. Somehow he figured that when Justin was a little boy there hadn't been that same opportunity, let alone someone like Matt Jensen to accompany him back to bed and sit there with him so that the monsters or the bad guy wouldn't get him. There was no one to turn to now, not really, when the nightmares came, or when the vision of Hannah haunted him. The struggles lately were his alone.

Or...were they?

Did anyone ever really give a shit about Justin Foley before? Not in a fake, condescending way like Bryce Walker. But, really, truly, be concerned? No one ever helped him through a bad dream? Ever? What kind of a mother was Amber Foley, and how could she have neglected her son like this?

And then Clay remembered Saturday night - well, very early Sunday morning, actually, when he asked Justin to sit on the bed with him until he fell asleep, because it made him feel better to be watched over and joined like that, knowing someone was there for him. Justin did it, never once laughed or hesitated.

Then there was Sunday afternoon, and a throw pillow on his thigh and Justin laying on it. And Clay had brought his arm down from the back of the couch to rest on top of Justin, who pulled it closer to his own body so he could hold onto it.

Pulling the comforter off his bed, pillow tucked under his arm and with a sad smile, Clay came back over and sat on the floor next to the couch, arranging the pillow so that his upper back and neck would be supported.

"What're you doing?" Justin asked.

"Don't worry about it. Try to sleep," Clay answered while wrapping the comforter around him.

"Clay..."

"It's fine. Promise. Go back to sleep, Justin."

"You don't....why are you doing this?"

"Just because."

"Clay, come on."

"Eh, it'll be all right."

Justin took a deep breath and exhaled slowly while shifting over a little so that he was closer to where Clay had situated himself. "Sorry I woke you up, man."

"It's fine, don't worry about it. You sure you're okay?"

"Not really."

"We can talk about it if you want, like I said. If you don't want to, that's okay, too."

"Yeah. It....something was chasing me. It was chasing me and I couldn't get away no matter how fast I ran."

"Get away from what?"

"I dunno. It was dark. Black. Like, really black and scary, and it was chasing after me at school, and...I think it was my past maybe? All the things I did. I kept running and I couldn't run fast enough. I ran past everyone...Bryce, Zach...Jess. Alex. Alex was...he was...he was dead but like, he wasn't."

"Everything is still bothering you, with Alex and Jess. That's why you had the nightmare, it's your subconscious."

"I guess. Then you were holding the black thing and hit me with it."

"That was just the pillow."

"Yeah. It sucked."

Clay turned his head a little so he could look at Justin. "Sorry. I should've just kept shaking you or whatever."

"It's okay.

"I'll try not to do that next time...I mean, _if_ there's a next time, you won't always have nightmares." Clay corrected himself. The last thing he wanted to do right now was reinforce or suggest that Justin might continue to have bad dreams, let alone like the one he had just come out of. "You're still beating yourself up. Aren't you." It was a statement, not a question.

"I guess."

"Justin, look. What did we talk about, remember? You're not perfect. It's okay to feel bad about everything you did, I get that. But, dude, seriously, you're just going to make yourself feel worse and worse if you keep dwelling on it. Let's at least try and fix this, yeah? Tomorrow....well, today I guess, will be a better day. And the day after that."

"But what if they aren't?"

"Well, we'll figure that out when we get to it. Hey, let's make it to Friday. We can go to the Plaza again if you want, visit the comic shop, hang out, do whatever. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good, actually. I'd like that."

Clay smiled and then turned his head back. "Cool."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you have any regrets?"

This was not what Clay expected at one forty five in the morning. But, in for a penny and all that. "Well, yeah. Of course I do."

"Like what?"

"Well. That I didn't make more friends before now. I've always been a shy person-"

"Could've fooled me," Justin chuckled.

"What can I say, I'm a good actor. Anyway. I've always been kinda shy, and maybe that's why I want the Gang to work out so badly. It's like...I need you all in my life, I need some really good friends aside from Tony. If I'm being honest, things really sucked in like, middle school and freshman year. Being around everyone, it's been a nice change. I hate that it took what happened to get us all to this point, but it's a big difference for me, and I like it."

"I want to be your friend."

"You already are, Justin."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

This brought a smile to Justin's face. "Good. Do you have any others? Regrets, I mean. If you don't want to tell me..."

"No, I don't mind. I guess I regret not....stopping Jeff, or being able to tell him how much he meant to me. We were starting to become friends, at least I like to think we were. Probably shouldn't have tried to force things to work out with Skye, that wasn't fair to either one of us. And I regret..." He hesitated, unsure of whether or not he wanted to open up this particular wound while it was still so fresh. But, if this being brothers thing was going to work, and since they had promised each other they would be open with one another and be able to talk about things, then maybe it would be all right to at least get this one out there. After all, they didn't have to go into every detail right now, that could wait for another day and time - hopefully not so damn early in the morning, either.

"...I regret not telling Hannah that I loved her."

Clay sighed and turned his body so that he could lean into the pillow and against the couch some. He could make out, even with faint light seeping into the room via the nightlight in the hallway, that Justin had burrowed a little more into the pillow, and guessed - correctly - that a despondent look had come over his face. "Justin?"

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm just....sorry. I feel like that one is my fault in some way, too. I mean...the tapes started with me."

"Justin, don't. My not telling Hannah what I felt has nothing to do with you, that one's all on me."

"Still. If I hadn't been such an asshole about everything, maybe..."

"Stop. Just...look, we need to have the Hannah talk at some point, I get that. But not now, that won't help you or me. Okay?"

"Okay. You know...I've got a lot of regrets, too."

"Be a little odd if you didn't. Everyone has regrets, right?"

"Yeah, but maybe I have more than most? Like, I regret everything with Alex and Jess, obviously. Fucking Bryce and everything he did, and I went along with it. I wish I never got hooked on drugs. Everything with Hannah....I know it didn't seem like it at the time, but it fucking, like, sticks in my head what I had done. And Alex was right, I really was an asshole to a lot of people, and I shouldn't have been. That includes you."

"Justin...."

"No, let me finish. He was right, I was a real dick to you, even before the tapes. I bullied you and I shouldn't have done that, and I'm really, really sorry that I was that way. I wish I could take it all back."

"It's okay..."

"No, it's not, Clay. I was a cocky little prick towards you, and you didn't deserve that and I need to make it up to you somehow."

Clay sighed and shifted his body a little, making himself more comfortable. "That's why I was in your dream with the black thing then. Look...Justin, let's put that past us, or try to. The stuff between you and me. If it helps, I appreciate the apology. I do! And as for making it up to me...well, just...stay clean and like, be a good brother."

"I'll try. No, I won't try. I _will_."

"C'mon, it's late. We can talk more about this when it's daylight out. Try to get some sleep."

Justin closed his eyes. "You really think we can work all this out? Alex, Jess, everything?"

"Yes." Clay's eyes were closed now also. "You don't have to run anymore. You're safe. And we'll fix all this shit."

"Okay. Is it weird that I've kinda wanted to give you a hug the last couple of days?"

"You got the side hug, Justin. Don't push your luck."

"Okay," Justin chuckled again. "Maybe one day?"

"Yeah. Maybe."

"Are you sure you want to sit down there? You can't be comfortable."

"I'll be fine."

Slowly, Justin brought his arm out from under the blanket, and just as he had done on Sunday wrapped it around Clay, his hand coming to rest on his right shoulder, thumb rubbing back and forth. "Thank you."

Clay brought up his own hand and patted Justin's. "You're welcome. I'm here. Now, go back to sleep. Shithead."

"Okay. Night, dumbass."

"Night."

 

* * *

 

Lainie trotted down the hall quickly and poked her head back into the master bedroom.

"Matt! You have got to come see this."

Matt was in the process of tying his tie, making one final adjustment. "What? Everything all right? We don't have mice in the kitchen again, do we?"

"No," she smiled. "Come look at our son."

He followed her down the hall to Clay's bedroom. "I was going to see if they were up for school yet - you know how Clay wakes up before his alarm sometimes - and saw that the door was halfway open. So, I peeked inside."

Pushing the door open quietly, they saw Clay on the floor next to the couch, the comforter bundled around him, his head resting on his arm, which he had draped onto his pillow. Justin still had his own arm in place around Clay, almost protectively, and both were snoring softly.

"Isn't that the sweetest thing?" Lainie whispered.

"It is. Justin must have had a bad dream. And I think you meant our _sons_ ," Matt whispered back with a smile of his own.

"Should we wake them up?"

"No. They have fifteen more minutes before the alarm goes off, let them have it. I'll start breakfast."

 

  

 

 

_Over and again, last call for sin_  
_While everyone's lost, the battle is won_  
_With all these things that I've done_  
_All these things that I've done_  
_(Time, truth, hearts)_  
_If you can hold on_  
_If you can hold on_

  -from "All These Things That I've Done," by The Killers

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Mazers! Welcome back!
> 
> Ye Writer has always had plans to write a more in depth "bad dream" story or chapter involving Clay and Justin, and that time has arrived. Back in Maze Book One (M1 from now on), we saw Clay having nightmares after what happened with Monty, which were part of his PTSD diagnosis and helped cement Justin's role as the big brother, and Justin experienced one in chapter 22. When I wrote that, the whole finals week stress for Justin, I mentioned that Clay didn't handle Justin's bad dreams well at first, that he would basically hit Justin with a pillow and go back to sleep. Well...in hindsight, Clay probably did that when he was hiding his future brother during the events of Season Two and not in the Mazeverse, so just pretend I wrote and implied it that way. 'Kay? 'Kay.
> 
> Anywho, this chapter is inspired by, as noted above, Bitterblue33's "A Destiny Which Makes Us Brothers," and I hope that what I've done here pays homage to the very first chapter of that amazing story! Thank you, Natalie! <3
> 
> Poor Justin. But hey, a few hints here and there in their very late night talk about who and what our heroes will become to one another, so that is happy! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! In our next installment, we'll see the Mazeverse debut of someone who has not appeared in my stories up to this point! Any guesses as to who that might be? Stick around and find out as the prequel continues! Meanwhile, "A Maze of Moments Book Two - Senior Year" has begun, and I hope you've had the chance to check it out!
> 
> As always, thank you for your kudos, comments and feedback. Come visit and say hi over at Tumblr! Thank you for reading, and stay tuned, Clay and Justin will return soon! Take care! :)


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